"10 Seconds of Courage": Turn Self-Doubt into Success with Jen Casey

Christine Li  0:01  
Welcome back to the Make Time for Success podcast. This is episode 73. Have you been wondering how you might break free from some of the layers you have inside of you, or some of the beliefs that you hold that might be causing you to doubt yourself? My special guest today, Jen Casey has a gift for observing how these layers and beliefs work within us. She guides her clients to open up their natural channels of expression, so they can access their most powerful voice and unlock their highest levels of success. In this episode, Jen shares how she figured out how to transform self doubt and stress to turn into someone who operates from the highest possible frequency she made her own journey in this way. And now she helps other people do the same. As Jen says, All success is state dependent. And in this episode, she reveals to us so many different lessons about how to change our state so that we're ready for success. Jen Casey is a brain based business coach, speaker, energy healer and host of the top 100 podcast CEOs psyche, through bringing together her love of psychology, the subconscious mind and energetics. Along with her passion for online marketing, program design and masterful facilitation. Her mission became clearer to create more inclusive environments for transformation, no matter what you're learning, processing or decision making style. Today, she helps online coaches design transformational programs from marketing and creation. To coaching and facilitation. You're going to hear both wisdom and loveliness from Jen today. She's absolutely delightful. Let's go listen to this episode together now.

Hi, I'm Dr. Christine Li, and I'm a psychologist and a procrastination coach. I've helped 1000s of people move past procrastination and overwhelm so they can begin working to their potential. In this podcast, you're going to learn a powerful strategies for getting your mind, body and energy to work together. So that you can focus on what's really important, and accomplish the goals you want to achieve. When you start living within your full power, you're going to see how being productive can be easy, and how you can create success on demand. Welcome to the Make Time for Success podcast. 

Hi, my podcast friends. It's Dr. Christine Li and on this beautiful day, I have the pleasure of introducing you to the amazing and wonderful and brilliant Jen Casey. Jen and I are just getting to know each other through these podcast recordings. But we have been looking at each other's work on Instagram and we know each other through an entrepreneurship circle that we are in hosted by James Wedmore, who we both follow and admire. So thank you, Jen, for coming on to this podcast. I can't wait for all the lessons that are about to unfold. Can you please let us know a bit about yourself and what you do?

Jen Casey  3:35  
Sure. So first of all, thank you so much for having me. I absolutely adore you and your work. And I'm just so grateful to get to spend time with you today and get to share with your audience. So thank Yes,

Christine Li  3:47  
It's my pleasure. It's really my pleasure. Thank you for being here.

Unknown Speaker  3:51  
Yeah. So Hi, I'm Jen Casey, I call myself a brain based business coach. Because I really love being able to look at the way in which online entrepreneurs are approaching their sales systems, their course design, and their pursuit of success through the lens of psychology, and really getting a deeper understanding of why people do what they do, and why people succeed or get in their own way. So that is just a quick little bit about me.

Christine Li  4:25  
Yeah, so now you can see why I love Jen Casey, we're interested in so many overlapping topics. And Jen has a marvelous way of describing the fascinating way that people behave, the dynamics that we put ourselves under, and how to get ourselves clear of some of the stresses of having a brain and a body to work through while achieving our goals. So could you describe for us how you realize that this was your area of interest?

Unknown Speaker  5:00  
Ooh. So like, how far back do we go? So I came into the entrepreneurial space in 2011, in health coaching network marketing, and before that I was in the acting space. And when I was in the, as I was kind of moving through and making that transition to online business, I really started noticing within the my acting career within my health coaching work, and then even as a business coach, the deeper dynamics of success and how people were able to show up for themselves. And actually, as a business coach, I started to recognize that as an actor, I would be looking at building a character, based on lines on a script. So you have these lines, and then you have to build this three dimensional character with all of the inner workings and isms and nuances and idiosyncrasies that as human beings we have. And then as I really deepened as a coach, I started to recognize that it was the same basic principles, but just in the reverse, that I was actually looking at a full complex human being, and tasked with supporting them in discovering why they were getting in their own way, or, you know, helping them uncover what their passions were, what they were excited about, kind of breaking down all of the barriers of societal expectations and norms. And so that was really one of the things that really stood out to me in terms of my journey. But even before that, I mean, when I was a little kid, my mom is a therapist, and so as my aunt, so I grew up around the world of psychology, when my brother and I were a year and 12 days apart. And so we would fight quite a bit. And when we would disagree, my mom would have us go in the bedroom to discuss and talk through our feelings. And when my brother was being annoying, she thought it was funny to teach us words like passive aggressive. So I wouldn't say Peters being annoying, I would say he's being passive aggressive. Or I would say, I'm really feeling ambivalent, and I was two and a half years old. So at a very young age, I started to I just grew up with a lot of the language and therapy techniques that I didn't realize was not the norm. Other kids, I later realized were getting punished or, you know, I don't even know who the hit. And that was just so foreign to me. I didn't even know that that was a thing, because it just wasn't a part of my upbringing. And so, yeah, like from that, it just, it was just like, that was the spark, I think, and, you know, always kind of being like, the friends that everybody talked to, and looked for support. And it just sort of evolved. From there. I got a degree in psychology and then went into acting and just sort of more psychology in there. And yeah, getting to support and coach now really, through the lens of business is just such a beautiful connection of all the things.

Christine Li  8:08  
Okay, beautiful. I think it's fascinating that you were basically trained in the language of therapy from a very young age and, and knowing that you could actively use it to solve issues is fascinating. Could you describe your own theories, our reflections on why the layers why we are so layered with things that might prevent us from actually moving more directly to the things that we want to the success that we think we deserve?

Unknown Speaker  8:40  
Hmm. So I think there's so many ways to look at this question. So first, I'll start with a visual that I had as a young kid, I remember being in middle school, and having a very distinct visual that I saw myself as a mummy, where there was this bright light inside, but all of these wrappings were sort of around a little light covering this. And on an intuitive level, I knew that these were some sort of layers, these beliefs, these identities, I didn't have that language for it at the time. But I just remember thinking, Oh, if I could just break through these layers, I could actually just be myself. But I didn't know how. And so I spent most of my early life, sort of living behind these masks of what I thought I should be what I thought would allow me to be accepted. And so why do we have layers? I think we have layers for survival and acceptance. I think it goes deep into I mean, for some people, it could be very real trauma. I think for the majority of people, the layers just come from societal conditioning. You're growing up being raised as a female, you have certain things that from a gender perspective are being projected onto you of what is expected of a young girl. Or, you know, if you're being raised, okay, you're a little boy, you're you are allowed to be tough, you're allowed to fall and cut your knees and get dirty. Oh, you're a little girl, you're not allowed to do that. And I was very tomboyish as a kid. So it's like, Oh, don't do that. Or, Oh, you can do this, or, Oh, you're doing that. Most girls aren't doing that. So you're different, where I got boobs in fourth grade. So it was like, Oh, you're the girl with the big boobs. And it was like, Oh, I'm uncomfortable in my body. And so there was like a layer there, I was getting a lot of praise as a vocalist. Every time I was celebrated, and lifted up by teachers, my peers, for jealousy, or whatever would lash out at me. So I associated, okay, success equals I lose people. So let me be smaller, let me minimize my successes, let me give other people the chance to win. So these were the layers that I have added on, I would say something and get made fun of, okay, it's not safe to talk, it's not safe to raise your hand, it's not safe to be wrong in class. Another layer added in, there was a very interesting visual that came through in a deep meditation once at an event, where I discovered why I felt unsafe playing. This is so random. I don't know how we got here. But you know, these are the layers, right. And hopefully, this is coming through because somebody is meant to hear this today. But I had this very bizarre visual of me as a sixth grader, playing on the school bus with my friend, and we were crawling under the seats, we were the last two people on the stops. And we were just giggling and laughing. And we're in kindergarten were six years old, we have no idea that this is potentially dangerous. We just think this is like a giant, you know, fun thing that we get to crawl around under the seats. And I remember the bus driver realized what we were doing turned around and screamed at us. And when I went back into this meditation, I was able to look at the situation from above, see what was happening. And then also look at it through the perspective of the bus driver, like what caused them to yell and I went, Well, duh, of course, they're trying to keep us safe. And they're freaking out. Because it's like, you don't want to get in trouble. They don't want us to get hurt. And all of a sudden, it was like, Oh my gosh, that was the moment that I decided that it wasn't safe to play. Like in pop, you know what I mean? So it's like all of these different things. We don't realize where they come from, sometimes as adults, but we just were like, Oh, why am I doing what I'm doing? Where are these behaviors and responses coming from. But when we're a little kid, we're just a walking subconscious mind. So we are just recording everything. And at certain developmental stages. Very early on, we have this egocentric perspective where we believe where we don't quite yet understand that other people have their own independent lives and their own independent perspectives. And so we take everything personally. And we internalize everything as ours, like you give the example of little kids whose parents get divorced. And the parents say, but it's not your fault. If they're younger than seven, they might not be at a cognitive developmental place to actually be able to contextualize and conceptualize that. That is even a possibility. Yeah, so Oh, that's like why layers, they're all there. And then, on a spiritual level, I think all the layers, and all the experiences are the deeper lessons that we are being given, that are part of our soul contracts, prior to coming into this physical body that are there to teach us on our path of expansion and ascension. So that's sort of a spiritual lens. So there's many layers to the layers.

Christine Li  13:37  
Okay, thank you for going through some of the layers. And some of the images, they're very powerful, because they are the markers of our life, I have learned the memories that are very powerfully emotionally significant for us that we encode. So you just gave us a few of those. And probably they're encoded because they are touching upon issues of safety and well being and is this okay, like, how do we stay in this society, we have to be aware of these danger points. So thank you for sharing those and thinking that you are a sensitive soul, and that you really pick up the energy of things happening around you and within other people. Easily. Is that true?

Unknown Speaker  14:30  
Oh, yes. Just I think you would listen to it, the whole podcast, I just like opening to energy gifts that were always present, but I didn't really understand them. And I didn't know how to articulate what I was experiencing. And that was very overwhelming as a kid.

Christine Li  14:49  
Yes, yes. And how did you as an adult, get the courage to say I'm going to explore all of this I'm going to do See how much of this I can undo? And heal? What was the journey that you took yourself on? And how does that affect your work with your clients? That may be too many questions at once. But take us on that journey, please,

Unknown Speaker  15:16  
this is great. I love it. For me, it started when I was really pursuing a career in musical theater. And I was having full blown, like anxiety attacks, going into auditions. And it wasn't just going into the audition, it was two days, three days a week, leading up to a single audition. And when you go in, it's your singing a 16 bar cut, you're in there for a minute and a half. So all of this build up for this two minutes with these casting directors. And so I would go through all of the hormonal and chemical fight or flight over and over and over and over and over again. And then I'd sleep and then wake up and then it'd be anxious again, to the point where I would be obsessively checking my bag did I remember my shoes that I remember my this and I couldn't relax until I actually got there. So it wasn't actually concerned about my ability to necessarily perform in the audition, it was like all the minutia around it that I got really obsessive about. And it was to the point where I didn't know this at the time. But when you go into fight or flight, it actually makes your colon sort of do a little squeegee. And so I would be running to the bathroom. And I didn't know what was happening at that time. But I knew that it was really getting in the way of me being able to show up and perform. And I would leave those auditions and be completely exhausted, I would come home, it would be like I would get back from Manhattan, it'd be maybe two o'clock in the afternoon. And I would just want to sleep for the rest of the day. Because I had put my body through such a wild roller coaster. And it really did need to rest because I just was blasting cortisol and adrenaline through my body for like three, four days straight. And it was just too much it was my body physically couldn't handle it and was sort of shutting down. I burned through all of my reserves, and I had nothing left. So that really sparked the beginning of looking into this more.

Christine Li  17:23  
That's interesting. My brain right now is thinking like, I'm wondering how that must have been for you. Because your talent was the voice and that it's just like all of these other thoughts and events were taking away from the focus that you could have been putting on to the voice and I don't know much about the voice. But I'm thinking it's like a natural channel. It's like where we flow and where we produce sound and communicate to the world? And was there a cost to your voice as well? Or did you feel like Oh, when I when I was singing and this is actually where I feel the best?

Unknown Speaker  18:03  
When I would sing that was 100% where I would drop in to the channel most of the time sometimes No, I remember I had a friend who. He's a musical director and plays for a lot of different Broadway shows. And so he would sometimes be the accompanist in the room. And when I went into audition was like, Oh, hey, Adam, what's up, and he is a good friend. So he shared after actually, I don't even think he told me he told my fiance because they're really good friends. He said when Jen walks in the room, she looks like she has no confidence. And then the moment she starts singing, it's amazing. And then the minute you stop singing, she once again looks like she has absolutely no confidence. And that was really tough to hear. But I mean, it was like, well, at least I'm I guess I'm sort of nailing the singing. But yeah, it was affecting everything about the way that I was carrying myself, my posture, the way that I was introducing myself vocally, I had done enough vocal training from a singing perspective, and had rehearsed those 16 Bar cuts to a point where I could access that training, and that repetition in my body and connect in. But everything else was very clunky and wobbly. And I was like, Oh, I'm nervous. I didn't know what to do. And you know, it was just really exhausting. And I remember hearing friends of mine who were going on eight auditions a week. And I remember thinking, How in the hell are you doing eight auditions a week. I was unimaginable to me. And that was when I realized, okay, if I had any shot of making it in this industry, I gotta figure this out. Because this is not working. And unfortunately, when you are a performer, an actor until you're booking work, the large majority of what you're doing is auditioning. And so like it's interesting in that industry, cuz there's some people who are really great in auditioning, but are actually not the best at performing long form. They're like, they can't sustain, you know, eight shows a week. And then there's people who are phenomenal at the eight shows a week, but just crash and burn in their auditions, that are similar to how some people are really phenomenal marketers, but are not the best coaches. And then some people are really phenomenal, are really terrible marketers and phenomenal coaches, right, like, some people have skill sets in different areas. And so really to be able to have the highest levels of success, you need to be able to do both really well. So

Christine Li  20:27  
okay, so that sounds like the recognition point, like I have to straighten out the system, because it's not allowing me to thrive in the work that I want to do. So then how did you move on from there? What were the realizations that came along the way? Hmm.

Unknown Speaker  20:47  
So at a similar point in time, I started to lose my first online business in 2011. So sort of around a similar point in time and that and I was with a network marketing company that was all about personal development, personal development, do it every day, 30 minutes a day. And that was a really big introduction for me in really reprogramming some of the stories and the belief systems that I had, and beginning to become consciously aware of the broken record that was actually playing all the time. And that was super liberating. And then from there, I went to therapy and had some massive breakthroughs. And looking back on some of the things that I said, and did in therapy at that time that I thought were revolutionary. I laugh at it now, I had really just such no sense of self, and was just so warped and like people pleasing and wasn't creating space for myself. And oh, man, is a different version, just a totally different person. I look back, I can't even imagine thinking the way that I used to think. So I think really being able to see some of those upgrades over time with just repetition and really studying and going to some of those uncomfortable places in the south, where those deeper woundings actually reside.

Christine Li  22:15  
Yes, you have a beautiful, confident presentation. And that's how I see you. And I'm wondering, like, how do you cope with moments of slipping backwards or feeling like, oh, yeah, no, I really all that growth. It really didn't really take me as far as I thought I did those moments where you're doubting yourself, what kinds of things do you now put into play?

Unknown Speaker  22:41  
Hmm. So I definitely have those moments. And I think, even just what we were talking about, before we hit record, just the way that we perceive each other to be in, especially in the online space, that yeah, I'm gonna put forward my content on the days where I feel most present. And I actually won't get on stories and record when I'm feeling really low vibration, because I know that that's being communicated and that the message is not coming through in the in the purest channel. So that's one thing that I'll do if I'm feeling like it's, it's just disconnected I rest. And that has been something that was difficult for me to learn. I mean, 2017, I was going guns blazing. My business was blowing up, I had a business partner, it was a kind of a toxic dynamic. And so that was really burning me out. And I just continued to push away some of those emotions that really look at those things. And really, in 2020, I had big physical issues, I had migraines, I couldn't physically lift myself out of bed, some days, like it was really bad. And I learned on a deep soul level, just the importance of rest and listening to my body. So that is the the number one thing that I think most entrepreneurs and high achievers need to cultivate is the relationship with your body. And listening when it is signaling to you get up and move, rest, sleep, drink water. I think that is so simple, and yet, not easy at times. And we're sort of getting caught up in all of our other stuff in our other stories.

Christine Li  24:24  
Yes, I believe that getting ourselves to have peaceful true restorative rest is like a journey into itself because we're so trained into the productivity demand. And if we're not feeling pressure, nothing's really happening. And then rest feels like a waste of time or a mistake, or we're flowing time somehow. And I think that is really costly to our creativity, our ability to be resilient under stress. all the names and our businesses of courses. So,

Unknown Speaker  25:03  
yeah, I had a client who, prior to me having this sort of physical breakdown, she had said something, she had chronic autoimmune issues. And in a coaching conversation, she had this aha, this recognition, she said, I realized that I've been planning my days, and then feeling like a failure, because you're just not getting things done. She's like, but I'm planning my days for the high achiever version of me. And expecting herself to perform at 10 out of 10, every single day, but wasn't actually creating an environment for herself. Whether that be with sleep, exercise, the right food, taking breaks, like she wasn't creating any of the other pieces to the puzzle to support that level of productivity from the highest possible frequency. As a result was just in this downward spiral loop of okay, I prepared last night, I'm gonna get everything on my to do list ever done said I'm gonna get 300 hours of work done and 12. And then obviously would feel defeated, disappointed, blaming herself, Here you go again, you couldn't get it done, and was going down the spiral. And I remember when she said that, I was like, Oh, crap I am being so like, this is being such a strong mirror for me right now. And just patterns that I really had played out in the past, and some that were still present in in the way that I was showing up. But yeah, so I mean, to go back to what you were saying before this question of like, how do I navigate that now, it's really rest, because I understand that, as I love to say, all success is state dependent. All success is state dependent. So when we know how to manage and regulate our emotional state, that to me is, in studying successful people like the thing, you can have the greatest strategies and business plans on the planet, or the greatest coaches, Olympic level Broadway level coaches. But if you regulate your nervous system, kind of something that you actually said on my podcast episode, like, your body just goes into self sabotage, and you crash and burn. And there's not really a whole lot to be done once that self sabotage has transpired. It's like, Alright, now we just got to figure it out, pick up the pieces, and how do we move forward?

Christine Li  27:40  
But yes, I love your combing, like you have a very like this is, this makes a lot of sense. Like, let's move forward. That's the feeling that I get from you, in general. But also, I imagine you're using that with your clients? How do you deal with their resistance to these types of frameworks and ideas of our true rest? about setting the environment up for success? Because we've got resistance I know. So how do you help people to just see that they might be getting in their own way, in ways that they might not be seeing?

Unknown Speaker  28:19  
Hmm, this is a really good question. So in my coaching practice, I really try to approach every single client, as they are in a very unique way. So for some people, and it's like, almost like a little kid, like, I'll try to bring as many strategies and tactics as I can, as many ways that I can approach it if it's just not penetrating. And I think of it like a little kid trying to get ice cream from their parent, Can I have ice cream? No. And then all of a sudden, they're like, I need to try a different action. And that's actually an actor thing, a different verb. So it's like, I'm gonna plead, I'm going to be little, I'm going to do this, and you try all these different strategies and tactics to get the outcome. So as a coach, I'm listening for so many different things, when somebody is in resistance and like, okay, or they may be in an accidental double bind. And a double bind is when they it's actually more of like a sales technique where there's two options being presented, would you like to pay with credit card or cash? And this like two options, are you tell your kid would you like to go to bed at 745, or quarter to eight? So it's two options that you want them to say yes to, but a big pattern that comes up in my coaching practices, I see people getting caught in these accidental double binds that they've created for themselves, where they have such a narrow view of their quote unquote, problem or this challenge or this area where they're stuck, that they're only seeing one or two pathways through. And so one of the things I do is try to help them see that there's like other alternative ways that there's there's other options avail legible, and like, is there anything else that you've considered and all of a sudden, like things start to open up. So that's one way where there might be resistance. Another thing is really helping my clients get consciously aware of the specific visual language that they're using. And some clients are more visual in their language than others. But especially when it comes to like, I don't want to rest. But I had somebody say to me once, I feel like my clients are renting space in my brain. And so I said, Oh, what do you charge for that? And, you know, it kind of became like, a little bit funny. And I love to be able to bring humor in as much as possible, because that's a state change. And all success is state dependent. So when we can change their state, all of a sudden, they're sort of lifted out of the energy of the problem where everything's a problem, and there's this narrow thinking. And all of a sudden, it's like, alright, well, that's actually kind of funny and silly. Why would I rent my brain to my clients for $1,000 a month? And I'm like, Okay, well, if we're thinking about it in terms of a quantitative sort of thing, how much space do you have in your brain? If you have 100 units of space? How many units are you renting right now to your clients. And all of a sudden, it becomes this really measurable conversation around something visual that they said that we're able to sort of kind of play out a little bit. So that's been really one of my other favorite things to sort of tap into when my clients use really visual language, those are just two things. There's so many things right. But really, the goal is to make sure that the person is open and coachable. And sometimes people don't realize why they have resistance. But I mean, the people who I coach are thankfully, like 100%, all in there. But then sometimes they still aren't able to break the patterns of past experiences. But I think of Joe Dispenza. And he talks about how 92% of the thoughts that we think, on a given day are the same thoughts that we thought yesterday. So just really giving ourselves so much grace, as we approach to this reprogramming process, and rewiring process of creating new neural pathways that we can then automate in the body, and just put subconscious on autopilot. But that doesn't happen. I mean, I guess it could happen, anything's possible. And like it could happen, immediately, you just make a decision, boom, it's done. And then there's also the actual conditioning of whatever that decision is.

Christine Li  32:32  
You're making me think that you're encouraging people to be their unique self. And it can feel like a dangerous thing to reveal. Because because it's unique. And because we worry about the bus driver incidents, and we have a lot of those in our heart. And because we've never really fully bloomed in that way. And I recently listened to Jen's podcast episode where she did talk about the process of reconnecting and being present and public, with her spiritual gifts. And I swear, it was like the most powerful episode and I was just like, there is no one else who could do this episode or anything like it. And it was so beautiful, and powerful. So I think that's just a message for me to my audience that, you know, like, take these risks, if they feel like risk, take them, because they're going to cause a blooming inside of you, and that it's really going to just nurture you from here on out that it's worth the exploration, it's worth not suppressing the stuff that you feel is just not appropriate or just does not fit into society or your circle. Because there's a cost to keeping that natural part of you hidden or forced down, or being blamed for things not going well, because the cost may be that you're not getting the success that you know, that you'd like for yourself, because a part of you is in hiding. Hmm, that was a lot of words. Do you have anything to add to that in terms of what we can do to not suppress natural parts of ourselves?

Unknown Speaker  34:28  
Yeah, so I think what you said too, about it feeling like a big risk. It did feel like a big risk when I first was like, oh, I want to create this podcast. And it took me two years of integrating that part of myself to really truly feel 1,000% ready to sit down and hit record and I don't use ready lightly because I really, really like have you committed to something there's a difference between committed and ready reading is an emotional state. It's fleeting, committed as a decision. But in that context for that specific thing. It was like Was it ready to be shared because it was so deep and personal. And it did feel like such a big risk to talk about it publicly. And actually, now that I've talked about it, it's seems so silly that I ever felt weird about talking about it. And I've had more people reach out to me in the last month and a half, saying, Oh, my gosh, I resonate with your content, like, it's been a total shift of audience and people going, you know, I've been following you for a while, haven't really been, you know, not that I didn't like your content, but really recently, all of a sudden, and it's because I'm actually being authentic in my expression, and I was suppressing a huge part of my life and myself. And so that's been a big question that's been coming up from people is like, how do we get to that place where we are fully expressed, and we are not suppressing those parts of ourselves. And I think one thing that I needed to look at was, from an emotional perspective, what was coming up around me sharing more about this. And I think for a long time, I didn't, and not even in just in this situation, but in many situations, anytime I've experienced resistance, it's because I didn't want to admit, I guess is the word or acknowledge or recognize that I had a certain emotional experience coming through. So whether it was like fear or anger or resentment, anytime I tried to ignore, push down, suppress whatever was going on, it didn't resolve it, it just prolonged its existence. And then when I was ready to actually process it, and acknowledge it, and give that part of me love and reintegrate that into my full expression, then all of a sudden, it's like I was able to show up, and then going back to the beginning, like another layer was sort of like, peel back another layer of hiding, it's like, okay, I'm just gonna be even more fully seen, like, Yep, I am a human, I experienced jealousy, I experienced rejection. And that's okay. And just really giving myself the space and the time to move through that process without rushing, or without saying, too, and that's something that's come up for me a lot as well, like a lot of my friends, you know, we'll do spiritual retreat type work together. And they are very external verbal processors, where they have an experience, and then they post about it on social media, and we go somewhere, they post about it, and they're given you like the full diary documentary of everything that happened. And I admire that so much. And I used to get so frustrated with myself, why aren't you sharing it sooner? It's not gonna be relevant anymore. People reached out on social media now they want to know what's like really going on, and just was creating all these stories and wasn't allowing myself to just be present with that process of how I needed to move through emotions, how I needed to create how I needed to integrate whatever was going on. Yeah, there's, there's so many things that we suppress about ourselves that once we just allow those things to be recognized and integrate them and celebrate them. That's really where we can begin to move forward, I think in a more full and whole incomplete version of ourselves.

Christine Li  38:23  
Yeah, how does it feel to have crossed that bridge in your life?

Unknown Speaker  38:30  
Oh, man, it feels amazing. I definitely feel like I have crossed some kind of bridge right now. And I'm sure there'll be many other bridges, you know, that I will need to cross at at other points in time. But yeah, it feels really beautiful. And looking back just on all the different I mean, I'll give you another example. I had had a relationship and business that was a bit toxic and went south. And for a full year, I had so much anger and resentment around this relationship. And it was holding me back in ways that I don't even know how to like fully articulate. And it wasn't until a full year later that I actually was like, You know what, this person I was all like, in my head is all about like, they were wrong. I was right, Baba Baba. I was like, who cares? Literally, who cares? Like I don't want to have this energy with this person. We run in similar circles like I don't every time their name comes up. And I'm like, like, that's not fun for me. Like I just need to reach out to them, clear the air and move forward. And it was wild like it was for me coming to a place where I wasn't attached to what they said or how they responded and it was just about me getting to be fully expressed in what I wanted to share and just clearing that energy. Because prior to that, I was in this belief in this resistance to acknowledge Do all of the fear and the regret and the blame. And it's really all anger towards myself, how did you let this happen? How did you, you know, all these stories of being taken advantage of right? So it's all all stuck in my stories and in my anger, and I was holding on to that. And I also didn't want to acknowledge that I was feeling any of that. Because I thought at that time, well, if I acknowledge it, then that person has power over me. And so I'm just going to ignore it. And like, they didn't have that power over me. I'm gonna do it, you know, like this kind of attitude. And when I finally was like, no, okay, this is 100% holding you back, I'm still holding on to anger, this did affect me, they were somebody I did care about, like, let's actually have a conversation about this and see if we can, like at least clear the air on my end. And it was like such a relief to be able to release that because it was frickin heavy to carry. And I think a lot of people are holding on to their own posts of baggage. And I was shaking, literally shaking, sending that text message, like texting my other friends asking for emotional support. But as soon as I sent it, I felt this enormous weight lifted off of my shoulders. And so I think the things that we're suppressing when we can actually just have those, like, if there's some quote, it's like 10 seconds of courage or something like that. 10 seconds of courage to just do the damn thing. Oh, my gosh, it's can be absolutely life changing.

Christine Li  41:24  
I love it. I love the 10 seconds of courage phrase, I'm going to use that I am sure

Unknown Speaker  41:30  
this, quote 15 seconds or something? Or maybe it's not courage rates bravery. I don't know who said that. But there's some version of that. But yeah, just that's all it takes.

Christine Li  41:41  
Yeah, well, thank you so much for sharing your voice. And for me, I'm seeing just the beautiful interplay between your thinking brain and your feeling brain and the therapist in your family. Like it's definitely coming through in your work and how you perceive the world. And it's beautiful, you give us such a deeper understanding of the different parts of ourselves that might be keeping us safe, that might be wanting to move forward that might be feeling terrified about changing, but then also knowing that change is a healthy, beautiful, energy giving event. So thank you for being that person for us today. Can you tell us how people can work with you and find you and what are the pathways to connect with you?

Unknown Speaker  42:31  
Yes, so you can find me on all platforms at Hey, Jen Casey and ageing casey.com. I love hanging out on Instagram, and then also over at the CEO psyche podcast, and you'll definitely want to listen to your episode because it was so amazing.

Christine Li  42:46  
Thank you. It was so great to be interviewed by you. Jen has a wonderful conversational way about her that only a few podcast hosts really have this kind of confidence and ease but also real interest in what their guests are saying. So you're going to hear that all over Jen's podcast again. It's the CEO psyche podcast. Jen, thank you so much for being here today. You're awesome.

Unknown Speaker  43:16  
Thank you so much for having me. I appreciate you so much.

Christine Li  43:20  
Thank you so much. And I'll see you soon. Everyone who's on the podcast today. Thank you for being here. We appreciate your attention and your time. We both wish for you expansion and that you release something that might be holding you back today if you can. Alright, love to see you next week. Bye. 

Thank you for listening to this episode of the Make Time for Success podcast. If you enjoyed what you've heard, you can subscribe to make sure you get notified of upcoming episodes. You can also visit our website maketimeforsuccesspodcast.com for past episodes, show notes and all the resources we mentioned on the show. Feel free to connect with me over on Instagram too. You can find me there under the name procrastination coach. Send me a DM and let me know what your thoughts are about the episodes you've been listening to. And let me know any topics that you might like me to talk about on the show. I'd love to hear all about how you're making time for success. We'll talk to you soon

Transcribed by https://otter.ai