3 Accidental Lessons for How to Gain Clarity

Dr. Christine Li [00:00:00]:
Welcome back to

Dr. Christine Li [00:00:01]:
the Make Time For Success podcast. This is episode number 180. Today's episode was inspired by true real life events, events that have happened to me in my own life in the past 24, 48 hours. And I thought I would share these snippets of little life stories with you because each story really taught me something important, and I thought they were important enough to put on this episode. Nothing earth shattering, but I thought I would also model that we can observe just regular day to day interactions we have with others and with ourselves in order to see where do we have room to make upgrades, where can we perform better, where can we relax a little bit more so that we end up performing better? All of these stories in this episode will teach you a bit about all of these topics. Let's go listen to this episode together now.

Dr. Christine Li [00:01:07]:
Hi. I'm doctor Christine Li, and I'm a psychologist and a procrastination coach. I've helped thousands of people move past procrastination and overwhelm so they could begin working to their potential. In this podcast, you're going to learn powerful strategies for getting your mind, body, and energy to work together so that you can focus on what's really important and accomplish the goals you want to achieve. When you start living within your full power, you're going to see how being productive can be easy and how you can create success on demand. Welcome to the Make Time For Success podcast.

Dr. Christine Li [00:01:53]:
Hi, friend. It is Christine Li again. Last week's episode had me almost crying and discussing a more serious time in my life, which was just a few months ago. And today's episode is gonna be a little bit different. I'm going to share 3 different lessons that I've learned in the past 2 days. And I thought that each one of these lessons taught me a bit, and I'm hoping that they will resonate with you as well. And the general theme for today's episode is the concept of gaining clarity. Just by looking at ourselves, looking at how things go in our day to day and I hope you enjoy these stories.

Dr. Christine Li [00:02:38]:
Okay. So the first story happened a couple nights ago. I was on a coaching call myself. I was the student, not the teacher. And we were being asked to think about our main topic of expertise and how to discuss it from a 360 degree perspective instead of just saying, my expertise is this. It's just to kind of tell the stories and to explain the reasoning and things like that. And so I started thinking about what are my top topics that I talk about and that is clutter. And I had what I think was a little bit of an epiphany.

Dr. Christine Li [00:03:18]:
And I thought to myself that clutter is actually the habit of being in the habit of staring things right in the face and pretending that we can ignore that stuff. So clutter is there in our homes. If you have clutter, you know what I'm talking about. I certainly know how that feels and clutter is there blocking our clear view. Clutter is there interrupting our energy. Clutter is there forcing us to ignore what is right in front of us. And I call it an epiphany because I think I'm someone who does do well ignoring things. I have a long habit of being able to ignore sound, people, lessons, and clutter.

Dr. Christine Li [00:04:10]:
And for some reason, this realization really hit me powerfully because why would any of us wish to have our view or our pathway forward obstructed? I think that's why clutter can be such a problem for people, right? That we prevent people from coming to our homes. We feel exhausted just thinking about our clutter. We try and try to move it around so that it does a little bit better, but then the next day, we realize it's actually expanded. And I think that's why I was so excited by this thought that I had. That clutter is the habit of not seeing what is right in front of you. And it just motivated me to get a little bit more serious about my own areas of clutter that still remain and to share this with you because perhaps this way of looking and thinking about the clutter will help you to go to that pile and put your hands on that pile and actually move it in a way that is final, where you actually get the stuff in the garbage can, in the donation pile or out of your house. I would just love that because if you're a clutter bug, I empathize with you. I am you and I am rooting for you.

Dr. Christine Li [00:05:30]:
So that is basically lesson number 1. The lesson is that you can observe the problems that you're having, and then look for the more powerful angle, the angle that gives you the power over the thing. And I think that's how I tend to teach about the topic of conquering clutter, and I'm hoping you will adopt that stance, that you are the most powerful being in the room. It's not your clutter by a long shot. So let's try not to act as if the clutter has won over on us. The second story that I have to share with you came from my exercise class yesterday morning. The dance class I go to every week, multiple times a week, one that I love, was about 3 quarters of the way through. And it's an aerobics class in terms of energy level.

Dr. Christine Li [00:06:29]:
So it's not crazy intense, but it's definitely not for slackers either. And we were 3 quarters of the way through, and Jenny, the teacher, mentioned something like remember to hold your breath. And I remember thinking to myself, what did you just say? And mind you, I was just off one of the dances. So I was almost out of breath myself. So the idea of wanting or being able to hold my breath really felt like a funny thing to say, a funny thing to think about, and a funny thing to imagine. But then she went on to explain that as a dancer, you need to learn how to manage and regulate how you breathe and when you breathe through the dance, in order to keep your high energy throughout the dance. And then I understood because that's how I feel about all of life, that we can't go through life huffing and puffing throughout. We really need to know when we need to breathe.

Dr. Christine Li [00:07:33]:
We really need to know when we need to slow down. We really need to know when we need to hold ourselves back so that we can push ourselves or flow forward in a more easy, effortless way. There are strategies for regulating your energy, and I think she was teaching us that. So I wanted to share that story with you as well, just in case you might be someone who is finding yourself on the brink of exhaustion, feeling a little bit burned out, feeling stressed out, that I want you to know that it is so reasonable, beyond reasonable, for you to be able to pull back, for you to take a breath, for you to reschedule something, for you to understand that you do not have to be a machine, and you are not a machine of that kind. You're not a machine wired for burnout. You're a machine wired for great performance. And in order to do the great performance, you need to know how to regulate yourself, so that you have enough momentum and drive to reach the finish line, to reach the end of the dance, to reach the goal that you so want to achieve. And I'm, again, rooting so hard for you.

Dr. Christine Li [00:08:55]:
So think about life as a back and forth rather than this push forward without breaks because your body will pay the price. If you're thinking you have endless energy, you have endless power, endless willpower, You're gonna tax your system, and then the system will then tax you back. So let's not do that. Let's keep ourselves going to dance class, enjoying the lessons that come along the way, and enjoying making time for success, of course. Now the third story that I have for you was the hardest of the 3 for me to stomach. It was really quite a painful moment in a way. It was 6 o'clock last night, and I was getting ready to do a podcast interview. I was the host, and I was inviting a guest.

Dr. Christine Li [00:09:45]:
And about 10 minutes before the meeting time, my intuition told me that something was awry. I just knew in my chest somewhere that something was off. I had just switched podcast recording software. And I thought to myself, I can't remember sending the guest the link. And so I knew there was something wrong because I was so unfamiliar with this new software. It was probably true that I hadn't sent her this link. I just wasn't used to that habit yet. And it turns out my guest had emailed me inquiring what was up, what were the details for getting together, what should she do, where should she show up.

Dr. Christine Li [00:10:30]:
But I accidentally and not on purpose, of course, missed the email. And so it turns out that the system that I typically rely on to remind me of what is going on was broken because of this new software and because I was relying on my memory rather than on some sort of checklist or really rigid system. To make matters worse, I double booked myself. So not only did I have the podcast recording scheduled, I also had a standing appointment with my success lab members. We meet briefly at 6 o'clock every week, and I realized that had happened. I went there. I explained to everyone there. They understood because, actually, the meeting kind of runs itself.

Dr. Christine Li [00:11:23]:
So I was able to kind of calm myself down, get everything straightened out. But then a third thing happened because I had also scheduled a 7 o'clock meeting with another group on another Zoom room. So that's a long story and a long way of explaining how I really messed up yesterday. My mind could barely keep up with all of the different slip ups and mess ups and coincidences of mistakes that were happening all within the same hour. And after explaining things to people, figuring out things for myself, and, of course, sending deep apologies, I took this moment for what it really was. It was a fantastic message that I needed to upgrade all of my systems for keeping things organized and working smoothly. My system was working reasonably well, but to have this level of miscoordination and mismessaging and people expecting me in 3 different places was just even too much for me. Even someone who's pretty skilled and used to balancing chaos, it was just too much for me to handle and bear.

Dr. Christine Li [00:12:39]:
And so I decided to keep myself calm. I was very proud that I was calm throughout this. And instead of stressing out and berating myself and embarrassing myself further, I took this as a chance to signal to myself, let's upgrade all the systems that we're using. And then I went on to teach my 7 o'clock members the lesson that I had had. So I turned this into a clarity moment. I turned this into a moment where, you know, sometimes the biggest lessons we can learn just come from these itty bitty stories from our everyday. If you take the time and you have the patience to be kind to yourself and to observe what is actually going on moment to moment, there are ways that your body and the people around you, and the way you work, and the results you achieve will inform what you need to do to create more room for success. To make yourself even more well regulated inside your nervous system and inside your creative work.

Dr. Christine Li [00:13:50]:
And so that's the moral of these stories. The stories are every day is really valuable, and we're all human. So allow yourself to be human, but also remember that you can always make time for success. You could always upgrade and treat yourself better, and slow yourself down if you need to. But always keep your eye on your big goals and what is meaningful to you. So thanks for listening to these stories. And before I go, I want to let you know that I am hosting a free 5 day challenge called reenergize your home. It's a decluttering challenge.

Dr. Christine Li [00:14:34]:
I've run it 4 times already, and it's a smash success every single time. It's super fun. It's going to show you I'm going to show you how to actually handle your clutter. Because as I said in story number 1, it can be a real bugaboo in your life. So let's really handle it quickly in a fun way and efficient way so that you can move on to achieve your bigger goals. Right? We don't wanna get stuck at the clutter level, so let's do this. Everyone who participates in this challenge has found it to be transformative and surprisingly so because we think of Clutter as the lowest priority, but let's elevate it a bit because your clear space and your clear view, that's what's the real priority. So let's remove the clutter so we can open up your space and let some joy back in.

Dr. Christine Li [00:15:30]:
All you need to do to join this free challenge is go to https://maketimeforsuccesspodcast.com/challenge . Again, that's https://maketimeforsuccesspodcast.com/challenge . And send me your information, your name and email address, and I'll send you all the details that you need to know. I will see you next week on another episode of the Make Time For Success podcast. Thanks so much for listening and for joining me here. Bye bye.

Dr. Christine Li [00:16:01]:
Thank you for listening to this episode of the Make Time for Success podcast. If you enjoyed what you've heard, you can subscribe to make sure you get notified of upcoming episodes. You can also visit our website, make time for success podcast.com, for past episodes, show notes, and all the resources we mentioned on the show. Feel free to connect with me over on Instagram too. You can find me there under the name procrastination coach. Send me a DM and let me know what your thoughts are about the episodes you've been listening to. And let me know any topics that you might like me to talk about on the show. I'd love to hear all about how you're making time for success.

Dr. Christine Li [00:16:41]:
Talk to you soon.