Breaking Free from Limitations: A Story of Triumph Over Challenges and Extraordinary Success with Kyleen Stoebenau

Christine Li  0:01  
Welcome back to the Make Time for Success podcast. This is episode number 157. 

This episode is all about energy. It's a story of how my friend and client Kyleen Stoebenau found the true power of her own energy. After discovering the energy I was sharing on someone else's podcast. Now I have the distinct pleasure of introducing her to you, and having her share her beautiful and inspiring story with all of you. It's a story of breaking through lots of limiting beliefs. And discovering the amazing power that Ky had within her is truly a remarkable story. It's also a story of learning how to skip all the self sacrifice so that you can really have the room, the time and the confidence to achieve all the wins in all the areas you choose to focus on in life. In her own words, Ky said my own personal motto has been show up, I now show up in a new improved version of myself. Christine taught me to think really big. I blew up my goals and made changes to match my life vision that I now have. This all happened within a year, I started triathlons at age 60. Now, at age 63, I'm training with more intention and clarity to grow stronger as I age, doing small steps to create big change and having fun. My productivity habits and energy have grown to heights I didn't think possible. I feel more centered and focused in self belief. I want to encourage listeners to show up for yourself first, whatever that looks like for you. Even if it's listening to podcasts in your car, I want to thank Ky an extra special thanks for being so open and for so wonderfully sharing her wins and her story with us in this episode, I just adore working with her. I'm so grateful I had the opportunity to meet someone as special as Ky. Now it's your turn. Let's go listen to the episode together now.

Hi, I'm Dr. Christine Li, and I'm a psychologist and a procrastination coach. I've helped 1000s of people move past procrastination and overwhelm so they can begin working to their potential. In this podcast, you're going to learn a powerful strategies for getting your mind, body and energy to work together so that you can focus on what's really important, and accomplish the goals you want to achieve. When you start living within your full power, you're going to see how being productive can be easy, and how you can create success on demand. Welcome to the Make Time for Success podcast. 

Hello, everyone. It's Dr. Christine Li. And today I am inviting you to enjoy an experience and an experiment that I am doing today. Because today is the very first time I've ever interviewed a client of mine. And my dear friend and client, Ky Stoebenau has been so lovely in this process of the pre prep and considering what we would talk about and all the things and just her enthusiasm for the work of doing the coaching throughout our experience has been a joy for me a gift for me. And now I would love to introduce you all to my good friend and amazing client Ky. Ky, welcome to the show.

Kyleen Stoebenau  3:42  
Thank you, Christine, this is great. I'm looking forward to this.

Christine Li  3:45  
I'm really looking forward to this too. And I told Ky right before we started recording that this is a first for me. It's a first for her too and we're just inviting you into the experiment. But we're looking forward to discussing a lot of really interesting relevant topics, I believe to all of our audience, because we're talking about what we can do with our time here on the planet. You know, what are we going to do with this one? Big life? Hi, do you want to take us back to the moment or that period of time when maybe you first discovered who I was and my work?

Speaker 1  4:24  
Absolutely. So I discovered you on the Thinking Thin podcast by Rita Black. And I heard your conversation and I wanted more. I could capture I could get into that energy. And it was just like, Man, I want some of that. And so I looked up making time for success. And I just started following you and listen to all your podcasts and I've learned so much and grow on so much and so fast, it's been an amazing journey. And I, I just look forward every day to what's new. That's amazing. Thank

Christine Li  5:09  
you. You mentioned energy, what was the energy? Could you describe what kind of energy was appealing to you?

Kyleen Stoebenau  5:16  
The energy was for me was just two women talking and very excited in their conversation. And I felt an honor to like, be in that conversation. So it was exciting to me that I just wanted a piece of that energy, it was just two women talking. But just, you could I could feel the grew of your energy. And I just loved it. All right. Well, I love

Christine Li  5:47  
Rita Black as you do. And so if any of our listeners have missed the couple of episodes featuring or read a black, we both refer you to those episodes. And yes, I was it a guest a couple of times on Rita's podcast, then thinking as well. So thank you for mentioning. Lovely read up. May I ask, what part of you was maybe searching for a different kind of energy at that time?

Kyleen Stoebenau  6:13  
So my original story, so I, I found you in August of 2022. And started following you. And I had my own story in my head. So I saw very narrow, almost narrow minded, unbeknownst to my own self. And it was a story that no longer fit me. And I was ready to move through that story. And through talking with you know, it was just like, Man, what a depressing story. And it was something I didn't want. And so I just, you know, wired to move through procrastination to create something big, and life is getting shorter, and hang on to that energy and hang on Kylene? Because you're going for it.

Christine Li  7:10  
Okay, wonderful. What signals did you have that you were tired of your old story?

Kyleen Stoebenau  7:17  
It was when I, when I told you my story. And it was just, that was my signal that this doesn't fit anymore. I'm over this story. And I'm ready to create a new story. And kind of tap back into myself, because I was a debt of identifying myself too much to my husband story. And it's an old story that I need to let go off and create my own. And it's taking off. Okay? What was keeping you wedded to the old story?

It was my thought pattern, my thought pattern, my habits. And just negative thinking. And I'm a can

be a very creative person. And I'm learning to tap into that creative personality now. And so it was just I was very stagnant, very still in my story. And it didn't belong to me. Okay,

Christine Li  8:29  
I know that in our work, we've talked about the issue of where do you focus? Where do you put your focus? If you've got other people in your life that you feel a responsibility for or towards, and you have your own ideas and dreams to take care of? How do you work that balance? Where do you think you've come regarding that conflict or that issue?

Kyleen Stoebenau  8:59  
I came to a point where I was ready to let go of my old story of taking care of my husband, who had a stroke. But in the big picture, he was doing very well. And I needed to let go of that taking care of thought pattern that I had that I don't need to take care of him anymore. And yes, I have things that I want to enjoy in life. And it just came to a point. I was 62. Now I'm 63. And it just like the time Time is ticking. And let's do this. I want to jump into my life and live my life with him and enjoy our life together versus staying in the past. So five years has passed since his stroke. We're doing great. And now it's time for me to live my life and just I've jumped into the gym and working out in the gym. I am doing triathlons. You know, I started triathlons when I was 16 years old, like who does that? And so I'm living my life now and going to the gym all the time creating new friends. And I'm in a weightlifting class, I met a triathlon class, all these classes I never, I've always been athletic. And that's my groove. And so working out in the gym, that's Kylene. That's me. That's crazy, Kai, I'm going for it. I've made some great friends there. And I'm doing things in spin classes, which in the past, I haven't been able to complete because of many other reasons. And now I'm just in my zone, and I'm really enjoying growing and, you know, running triathlons, doing trail runs and things like that.

Christine Li  10:58  
Wow. So you've moved from feeling like you were in a narrow space, maybe physically and energetically to really transforming. And you've mentioned very quickly, you've made the transformation from feeling very limited and constrained to running triathlons, and kind of leading the pack. If I've not mischaracterizing I think you are a leader in your exercise space as well.

Kyleen Stoebenau  11:26  
Yes, I'm I just came to the point, or this isn't serving me, my old thoughts weren't serving me anymore. And what do I want to do, and I wanted to lose some weight, I've lost a lot of weight, I've been working out. And I'm just finding myself and creating, recreating myself in this, like, wild thinking for myself and enjoying it enjoying life, my husband is tapping into that energy. And you have guided me, just through listening to your podcasts and your success lab. And I'm just wondering this New Energy, and so is he and he doesn't even know yours. But he is that chi has done your free online declutter program. And she first kind of, Oh, my goodness, I did think clean my house, clean parts of my house. And so I'm just tapping into your energy that you're teaching me. And I'm just open to it, jumping into it with both both feet. Okay, I

Christine Li  12:38  
want to pause here and mention that chi has been quite the standout since she first came onto my scene since she first kind of waved her hand or volunteer to comment, that her enthusiasm and kindness and support for me and support for all the other people who are following me and who are making comments in the Facebook group and things like that. She's just been really a standout. So her energy is actually stand out from the beginning. I remember that from the beginning. And now it's just gotten bigger and brighter. If anything, right, it's it's not dimmed at all. It's actually just, you've just found another arena within which to shine. So I want to thank you for bringing your beautiful energy into my tribe and my group of people that I'm working with. We all appreciate you. So thank you. I wanted to just pause there. And thank you for that. Can you give us a sense of a comparison of what your negative mindset might have sounded like, compared to what you might tell yourself today? Well, boy.

Kyleen Stoebenau  13:51  
Okay, so what comes to mind quickly is stability. I'm a person who enjoys stability, but I'm not in that stability mode anymore. So I used to have more of a negative stability, meaning I have to stay at this job. I have to put up with a bad boss, and who is an OCD control person, and I have to stay. We had to file bankruptcy. And we end this coming May 2020 24, which is so exciting. And we've gone through the path. So my old mindset is that I have to always be broke. I can't do anything fun. I have to stay the course. Don't shake the boat. And now it's like I see the light at the end of the tunnel but also in this past year. I have grown so much to like I don't have to wait for bankruptcy to end I don't have to put up with a boss. You know, I am moving through this and I'm sure I've created new habits, new routines, and I am just enjoying life now. So I'm no longer stuck. I've definitely felt stuck. And now I'm trying on new things of, you know, and trying on the energy of, you know, if you're stuck, if I think I'm stuck, I'm gonna be stuck. So I don't need to be stuck anymore. I don't need to live in my old story of my husband's had a stroke and like, I'm broke, and I have old cars. And it's like, you know, I am enjoying life now growing older, and my my focus is as I grow older, I want to become faster and stronger. As as I age, and how do I do that? Well, that's for me. My motto has always been chi, you have to show up. And I'm fine. Once I show up. Everything happens. And I bring a great energy. And I'm excited. And I love pumping people up. I've gone to half marathons marathons, I all show up in a cowboy suit, and ring a cowbell. And I'm like cowbell Kai, and I'm just there. I don't know anybody. And I'm just there cheering people on, because that's just what I like to do. And I've had just great comments, great feedbacks, you know, of people from races have said, Man, you know, they, I'll be around and people say, you know, I really appreciate you pushing me and hearing that cowbell, that that really helped me and in your declutter program, I'm just very open. And I just love showing up for myself and other people. To me that she's very important. That's what life for me is, is showing up and bringing chi to the plate.

Christine Li  17:03  
I love that example, especially the cow suit in the Colville. And I think what you're saying is that that more energized, more public, more supportive and sharing kind of person is really who you are naturally. And when you're acting like that you feel naturally well, because it's just easier for you to be yourself and to be your natural self and to share yourself.

Kyleen Stoebenau  17:32  
Yes, I just did a five day volunteer thing at a trail race. And the feedback that I got from people, I mean, complete strangers, you know, one person said, you know, you're just a bundle of joy. Another person says, Do you ever stop smiling? And never another person. So I hope some people this man was looking to camp with his team. And he asked me if I said, you can't, you can't camp there. And I looked around, and he, he said, I'm just trying to find a place, you know, out of the rain, that kind of thing. And I looked around and you know, I said, You know what, your fire where you are? Camp right there. The cars already have you parked in. If anybody says anything to you, Tom Kai said it was okay. And that just made this team of eight men. Just bring it. And you know, afterwards, they finished the race. So it was an overnight race. And they sit this man, I don't even know his name. And he said, You know, I just want to introduce you to Kai and she made our event. Excellent. And you know, we put our fist in the middle, and we're cheering everybody on. And that's just chi being chi, the real chi. And it was exciting. It's easy for me to be that person versus it takes more energy to be the negative portion to be the narrow minded, you know, all my life is doom and gloom. And it's like, I'm over it. And, like, get sucked back in every now and then. But I'm moving on. I

Christine Li  19:18  
love it. I'm on video nodding my head really aggressively when to say you know, like, you're bringing it right. And you're transformed in the best of ways because you just became yourself. And I think like you said, so brilliantly. Being not yourself being a narrow, constrained, constructed, negative thinking person is more energy draining, then good because you're not being yourself. You're actually fighting your natural tendencies to be really energized, really welcoming, really a leader, really a share, really someone who helps other people to have a better time. And now you have all these future opportunities ahead of you to continue doing this amazing energy work. Yes.

Kyleen Stoebenau  20:10  
You know, it's only been a year that you and your podcast came into my life. And the strides that I've made are just amazing. Because I've been open to it. I've been open to change and looking for change. And it's like, what serves me what serves my family. And I just didn't happen a much better time. learning tools and techniques, and going through your success lab has been amazing. And just growing, and it's just becoming really, really nice.

Christine Li  20:48  
Wonderful. Do you see your future as filled with opportunities? Or do you feel like you're gonna struggle? What is your attitude? I have a feeling I already know. Yeah,

Kyleen Stoebenau  21:00  
it's, it's limitless. I found something that is over the chart, wild idea that I want to do. And it's only because you that I'm thinking this, there's something called 29, zero 29 ever resting. And it's, in essence, it's an event and 36 hour event where you climb the elevation of Mount Everest, at different ski resorts and you climb in you hike up, and then you take a gondola down, and you hike up again, as many times as it takes to get to Mount Everest tight. And that is like mind blowing to myself. But you know, I am going for it. I've got some more weight to lose, to get more strength. And this will happen in my future. And I cannot wait. Because it'll stretch me physically and mentally. And that excites me. I'm going for it.

Christine Li  22:03  
That terrifies me. But I'm really happy, you're happy? I'm really proud of you. I'm really excited. You have made such transformations in a very short amount of time. I'm really glad you've embraced everything really wholeheartedly. Because, you know, my perspective is that when we keep ourselves constrained, is because we're trying to be good. We're trying to not rock the boat. Like is that right? We're not trying to cause difficulty for the people in our lives. We're not trying to do anything wrong, right. But what we forget, and sometimes what we miss, and sometimes for years, is that we're missing that we can actually take care of everything and have a good time, and be fulfilling our energy needs and be meeting all these funky new people and learning new things and getting super strong in our later years in life, if I may call them that. And I think you are my role model. And I think you gave me a lot of credit for a lot of things. But I want to just share the credit with you that you've done so much to open your heart and your mind and your mindset and your life. To what's ahead of you. I'm so proud to be a part of your journey. And I thank you so much for sharing so much of your personal journey with the world on this podcast. And I just want to give you a hug, virtual hug and so much thanks for just trusting me and trusting yourself and for coming on to the show tonight to speak so openly and honestly with us.

Kyleen Stoebenau  23:33  
Well, definitely Virtual hug back at you. And I want to say keep doing what you're doing because oh, your post on Instagram and everywhere you are. And your your your passion to grow yourself. And you're growing your community is is so giving of you. And I think that we just want to make life better for everyone. We do. So I appreciate you. And thank you for everything that you do. And I've changed my life.

Christine Li  24:11  
Well, thank you. Thank you. Well, let's keep going right Ky, and everyone who's listening, we want to let you know it's your turn. It's your turn to reach inside and challenge what is not working for you, whatever that might be big or small. Know that you can make changes over time. You can make them in microscopic ways. But you're gonna make them so that you get to live your best life and that your energy gets so rippled through the airwaves and the Mount Everest waves and wherever else you choose to be really this is your life. Let's go grab it. Let's go really make time for success. Why don't we end it that way? Ky has mentioned kindly, a program that she and I are working in together. It's called the Success Lab. And it's this weekly accountability group where I do some light coaching every Saturday. And then the members in the Success Lab work together, we work together on our own individual projects. But then we basically guarantee that we leave the session, feeling energized, feeling more proud of ourselves and feeling capable. And if you're interested in reading about this program for yourself, you could go to maketimeforsuccesspodcast.com/lab It's maketimeforsuccesspodcast.com/lab And I will see you soon and you know that if you join my community, you're gonna meet Ky at some point or another. And again, Ky, thank you so much.

Kyleen Stoebenau  25:44  
Everybody show up.

Christine Li  25:47  
Let's show up. And we'll see you soon. Bye. Bye. 

Thank you for listening to this episode of The Make Time for Success podcast. If you enjoyed what you've heard, you can subscribe to make sure you get notified of upcoming episodes. You can also visit our website maketimeforsuccesspodcast.com for past episodes, show notes and all the resources we mentioned on the show. Feel free to connect with me over on Instagram too. You can find me there under the name procrastination coach. Send me a DM and let me know what your thoughts are about the episodes you've been listening to. And let me know any topics that you might like me to talk about on the show. I'd love to hear all about how you're making time for success. Talk to you soon.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai