Declutter Your Home and Life: The 3 Phase Model Explained

Dr. Christine Li [00:00:00]:
Welcome back to the make time for success podcast. This is episode number 206. For today's episode, I'm doing something pretty different than my typical episode. Typically, I prepare these things ahead of time. Today, I feel inspired to do something a little bit more spontaneously. I hosted a decluttering together work sprint earlier today, and I felt so inspired by the lessons that I learned from the group and from the lessons that I was able to share to the group that I thought, let me just turn this around and create a podcast episode from the content right away. So I'm here to share the 3 phases of decluttering with you and a whole bunch of other reflections on how to declutter successfully and why you should choose decluttering as a good focus for your energy and time. Let's go listen to this episode together now.

Dr. Christine Li [00:01:09]:
Hi. I'm Dr. Christine Li, and I'm a psychologist and a procrastination coach. I've helped thousands of people move past procrastination and overwhelm so they could begin working to their potential. In this podcast, you're going to learn powerful strategies for getting your mind, body, and energy to work together so that you can focus on what's really important and accomplish the goals you want to achieve. When you start living within your full power, you're going to see how being productive can be easy and how you can create success on demand. Welcome to the make time for success podcast.

Dr. Christine Li [00:01:52]:
So today's episode springs from the event that I held this morning called decluttering together. About 25 people attended, and it was a mix of my current clients, my past clients, and some perhaps future clients, but they were definitely some people in the group whom I had never met before, and we had a great time together. I did not know how the event was going to run ahead of time, but I had a good feeling that it was going to work because every other time that I've gathered a group of people for the purpose of decluttering, the energy just goes wild. People end up feeling so much better and so much more positively about their spaces and about themselves that I had a good sense that things were gonna go well this morning. And I am happy to share that not only did people have success in the event, but I also managed to design a 3 phase model of decluttering while I was teaching today. And I thought I would share that three phase model with you today because I would love you to have this information. And you know what? If you happen to be in a situation where you can be decluttering while you're listening to this episode? We can make this episode do double duty. It can help you to face your clutter.

Dr. Christine Li [00:03:20]:
It could help you to learn how to do decluttering successfully, and we can all be happier when this episode is said and done. So I'm gonna get right down to it and describe how today's session went and teach you the 3 phases of decluttering. So the first phase is quite simple. The first phase involves just exploring some of the reasons why the clutter is there. What has been hard for you about facing that clutter? How has the clutter gotten there? What feelings do you hold about the clutter? And then when you're done with that section of phase 1, you're going to select one small action item step that you're going to choose to mark the fact that you have begun the decluttering effort because I have seen that clutter stays in our precious spaces because we fail to start. It's not that it's so difficult to move a couple of pens or a pile of paper. It's that we never move the pens or the pile of paper or the clothing or the sentimental items or the Post it notes, whatever you happen to be stuck with at the moment. I want you to think to yourself 2 things.

Dr. Christine Li [00:04:41]:
Why is this stuff here? And just be honest with yourself. Don't be punitive with yourself. Just lay down the situation and review for yourself what are the reasons why the clutter is here right now and then decide, you know what? I'm gonna take my first action step as doctor Li suggests, and I'm gonna show myself that I can begin. That is all that is involved in phase 1. And now I'm gonna share with you what I learned from attendees of decluttering together. What I learned from them was that the reasons why they were not approaching the clutter, the reasons were a combination of different types of fears, like fear of overwhelm and fear of not liking the work, and then it was also another segment of people were describing not having enough time or energy. So I would say those were the 3 big components, fears of what the decluttering was going to feel like, and then a lack of time and a lack of energy. And we did some discussion about those fears, and then I did a round of tapping, which is emotion freedom technique.

Dr. Christine Li [00:06:04]:
It's a technique where you tap different parts of the upper torso, and then you describe the old story. The old story is that you're filled with fears and exhaustion, and the new story is that you're gonna take the first step. You're going to accomplish what you set out to do, and you just basically set the new stage for your new space. So we did that as a group. And I think what happened is because we were a group, the energy started to flow. I then had people get off the video and go to their own spaces and do some decluttering. And I believe we started off with about 30, 35 minutes, and it was quick, but people were feeling energized because they were finally facing the clutter foe. They were finally deciding, I'm just gonna start.

Dr. Christine Li [00:07:00]:
I started myself by saying, I'm gonna hang my fanny pack, my little purse, and I'm gonna hang it up, and that's gonna be the first step of me decluttering my office desk. And that worked like a charm for me, and it seemed like people in the decluttering together event really had a lot of success. And then we came back again onto the video, and we discussed what happened. And the conversation that ensued was, again, something that I wanted to share with you. And there was a lot of conversation about the difficulty of having stuff, clutter, that is energetically charged with emotion. So we're talking about sentimental items, memorabilia, things that remind you of people or past events. You know what I'm talking about. It's the holiday cards.

Dr. Christine Li [00:08:00]:
It's the invitation cards. It's the trophies. It's the belongings of people who have passed on. It's all that stuff. It's a big, big category of clutter. And I thought I would stop here with the phases and just do a little bit of discussion with you about sentimental items because what is life but one big sentimental journey? And we wanna have, I think, a little more power over sentimental items and clutter because if they get to be too much or if they get to take up too much of our space, then they kind of stop being so sentimental. They start having a negative effect on our space, on our ability to move through our space, and our ability to be really in the present moment of our lives. Right? People may have passed on, and we honor them by keeping them and their memories close to our hearts and our minds, but we don't necessarily have to keep our precious home spaces bewildered and overwhelmed and blocked by physical items.

Dr. Christine Li [00:09:15]:
So I want you to think to yourself at this moment, If you are struggling with sentimental items, if you have a lot of clutter of other peoples or from another time in your life, I want you to think for yourself, what is the overall effect of this stuff in my life, on my life? Is it positive? Does it fill me with energy, or does it seem to make my energy trickle away without my knowing it or without my really calculating it. What I taught members of decluttering together today was we oftentimes fail to calculate the cost of inaction. We oftentimes fail to calculate the cost of keeping stuff. We're oftentimes thinking, oh, I can't bear to part with this, but then we're not really thinking about, well, what if I did part with this? What would I then be able to free up energetically? What would I be able to bring in that would be new and even better than the sentimental clutter that I now own? Instead of staying in the same past tense time zone, maybe it would be nicer for me and my home space if I freed the space and my brain and my heart up from this reminder of the past, from this reminder of times gone by. It's really not gonna kill you. I promise. Sometimes we act as if it's that dreadful or threatening, and I think if it has that effect on you, if it makes you scared, if it makes you feel, ugh, like you have to constrict or hang on to this stuff really tightly, maybe that's a sign that you would be better off letting it go. So I'm just gonna pose that to you.

Dr. Christine Li [00:11:14]:
You get to make your own decision. I am not the boss of you. You are the boss of you, but I want you actually to do this thought experiment. If I stored a bunch of my clutter far away from where it is right now, if I really removed it from my point of view, from my actual view, what would happen? Would I end up feeling like I appreciated my space more? Would it happen that I start being a little more creative with my writing efforts or with my cooking efforts or with my exercise habits? What would be the effect of having this gone from my space and out of my view? I really wanna challenge you to do this work. This is all part of phase 1, getting started, reviewing the situation, and deciding I'm going to take a step no matter how small and appreciating yourself for doing the brave work of decluttering because I think there's some fear attached to decluttering in general for most people. So consider yourself a warrior. Consider yourself a brave soul for doing this work. And, you know, with all the clients that I've worked with around the topic of decluttering, I've seen so many people inherit items that they really never wished for in the 1st place.

Dr. Christine Li [00:12:40]:
So if you're in that situation, my heart is with you. My head is with you. And, again, I suggest you just do this thinking, do it calmly, again, without self punishment, and decide for yourself what is really gonna be best for my space, my life, my time, and my energy. Alright. Now it's time for phase 2. Now phase 2 is really interesting. It's kind of the climax point of the 3 phases for sure because phase 2 is the part where you actually get down to the nitty gritty. You've decided you're gonna start decluttering.

Dr. Christine Li [00:13:17]:
You're committed to doing so, but now you're running into the heavy lifting. You're maybe even literally running into the heavy lifting. So maybe it's the boxes that contain a bunch of mixed items. You don't even know what's in there, and you know you're really gonna have to do the work of sorting the items. And so you feel a sense of overwhelm or a sense of dread or I call it a sense of ick, I c k, and that is phase 2. And the thing that's really important about phase 2 is that phase 2 makes all the difference. If you survive phase 2, and I promise you, you can, you will have taught yourself that you are strong enough to withstand any overwhelm. You are strong enough to stay true to any and all commitments that you make to yourself and to your life and to your future.

Dr. Christine Li [00:14:13]:
And I wanna say, is there nothing more powerful than that, Proving to yourself that you can do what you said you were going to do and proving to yourself that nothing can hold you back when you have your intentions and your commitments set in stone. So consider phase 2, the phase where you face the challenges. Alright. I'm gonna share a few techniques. The first technique that I shared with the people who attended this morning was to drink water because guess what? We are created with water inside of us, and water is a way of reenergizing our bodies and our minds. So I always have people who are about to embark on something physical, embark on something emotional to make sure they're hydrated first. We oftentimes forget to take care of ourselves and prepare ourselves before doing a heavy lift. So let's do that.

Dr. Christine Li [00:15:13]:
Make sure you take care of yourself. Make sure you're safe in your environment before you do any heavy lifting or sorting, and make sure you hydrate. And then the other We're done with that kind of negative We're done with that kind of negative Nelly thinking. Instead of that, we're going to decide this is an automatic success. The fact that I'm in this spare room facing down the clothes that no longer fit me is a win in the

Dr. Christine Li [00:15:51]:
clothes that make sense for me. I'm only gonna keep

Dr. Christine Li [00:16:03]:
the clothes that make sense for me. I'm only gonna keep the clothes that are current me. I'm only gonna keep a few items that might be representative of future me, but then, guess what? I'm gonna use another decluttering technique. I'm gonna donate the rest. I'm going to share my abundance with people who might be a little less fortunate than I am. I'm gonna share my abundance to prove to the universe that I'm ready for more. I'm gonna share my abundance because I have the time and energy and the freedom and the confidence that I am okay without my stuff. I don't need any items at all to feel at my best, so I can share and donate and declutter out of my closet the items that no longer make sense in my life, and I'm going to feel refreshed and reenergized and so proud of myself in the process.

Dr. Christine Li [00:17:07]:
So that is phase 2, a phase where you're walking into the phase feeling perhaps a little bit more stressed than you're used to, but excited that you're gonna get to actually see your project through. You're going to see yourself as a success once you're done with phase 2. Now phase 3 is relatively simple, but it's a phase that I think some people forget to include, and then what happens is this clutter will come back because phase 3 is about tidying up and wrapping things up once you've started. Because oftentimes, decluttering is a multi day, multistage process that we don't end up decluttering the entire room or the entire space in one go. So we have to learn to do a phase 3 where we decide any mess that I've created because I'm decluttering today needs to get tidied up. Maybe not fully put away all neatly and cleanly, but tidied up so you're not feeling like you've just created another mess. Once you've done that, then another part of phase 3 is you're going to celebrate. Yes.

Dr. Christine Li [00:18:27]:
I said the word celebrate because even though you're probably not finished with the entire heavy lift of the decluttering, you have done a good portion, and I want you to train yourself and to get used to the habit of seeing yourself as a success even if you've just done one phase of a multiphase process. Remember, I want you to complete all of these three phases of decluttering, but just for this chunk of decluttering that you've chosen to do today or the next one that you're going to choose to do. And once you get in the habit of taking a first step, facing the middle phase challenge of the heavy lift, and then tidying up and celebrating, guess what? You've then taught yourself the process of creating a successful event. It's not just success for declaring. It's success in teaching yourself that you are strong, that you are capable, that you stick to your word, that you are joyful, that you have lots of space in your house, that you no longer tolerate things that don't work for you, that block your pathway forward. These are all tremendous, tremendous, tremendous wins. Don't make light or small of your efforts because everything that you choose to do to improve your chances of success is a success. So start to look at all of your action steps as feeding you, as nurturing you, as supporting you, and as celebrating you.

Dr. Christine Li [00:20:09]:
I cannot emphasize this celebration piece enough. I hope you get my message. I think I've been clear. So for those of you who were with me this morning inside decluttering together, thank you for being brave. Thank you for celebrating with me earlier today, and thank you for decluttering and beginning today because I think you've opened up new doors for your life. And for those of you who are listening to this episode, thank you for taking the time for pressing play on this episode, for supporting me and this podcast Make Time For Success, and in turn, supporting your life and showing yourself that you have time for success. No matter how much clutter is in your space right now, you can now see the light at the end of the tunnel, and I promise you there's so much wonderful light when you start decluttering and you start saying true to your word. If you would like a free download that summarizes the phases and gives you some support in your next declaring effort.

Dr. Christine Li [00:21:16]:
Please go to maketimeforsuccesspodcast.com/phases. Again, it's maketimeforsuccesspodcast.com/phases, which is p h a s e s. I'll include that link in my show notes, and I can't wait for your stories when you share them with me about your successes with decluttering your home and your life. Alright? Everyone, let's go. I'll see you soon. Bye.

Dr. Christine Li [00:21:49]:
Thank you for listening to this episode of the Make Time For Success podcast. If you enjoyed what you've heard, you can subscribe to make sure you get notified of upcoming episodes. You can also visit our website, maketimeforsuccesspodcast.com for past episodes, show notes, and all the resources we mentioned on the show. Feel free to connect with me over on Instagram too. You can find me there under the name procrastination coach. Send me a DM and let me know what your thoughts are about episodes you've been listening to. And let me know any topics that you might like me to talk about on the show. I'd love to hear all about how you're making time for success.

Dr. Christine Li [00:22:29]:
Talk to you soon.