From Burnout to Brilliance: The New Self Care Essentials

Dr. Christine Li [00:00:00]:
Welcome back to the make time for success podcast. This is episode number 204. I am so excited to share this episode with you today because the themes of trust, safety, and self confidence are featured in this episode. And the general topic that I'm covering today is the topic of self care, and I call it non traditional ideas about self care because these ideas focus on what we can do from within our bodies, within our identities as human beings. And they're not like your traditional ideas of self care, which tend towards the taking care of the physical body, things like massages and getaways, things like that, which are also wonderful. But I wanted to really put the focus on what we can do from within. So let's go listen to the episode together now.

Dr. Christine Li [00:01:07]:
Hi. I'm Dr. Christine Li, and I'm a psychologist and a procrastination coach. I've helped thousands of people move past procrastination and overwhelm so they could begin working to their potential. In this podcast, you're going to learn powerful strategies for getting your mind, body, and energy to work together so that you can focus on what's really important and accomplish the goals you want to achieve. When you start living within your full power, you're going to see how being productive can be easy and how you can create success on demand. Welcome to the make time for success podcast.

Dr. Christine Li [00:01:53]:
Hello there. I am really excited for today's topic on the show. The topic is about the nontraditional version of self care, and I've decided to focus on this issue because we get so much messaging about your typical ideas of self care, and that may sound like a massage or some extra candles or some time to yourself, and all of those things can be really helpful and really calming and really nourishing. I have a different take on self care lately, and I've tried to really stick to these ideas about the I'm gonna call it nontraditional version of self care where you're really just tending to what you need and how you're feeling and prioritizing that sense of calm from within so that everything that you do outside of yourself tends to go well because you're feeling calm, you're feeling well, you're feeling healthy, and you're feeling safe. So let's go through 8 elements of this non traditional type of self care. The first one that I have listed is probably the most important one, and that is just plain trust yourself. Trust is such a big concept, and trust can be really damaged or eroded or threatened so easily. And that is why I think it is worth our time and our energy and our focus to make sure that we are consistently and steadily and confidently trusting ourselves.

Dr. Christine Li [00:03:44]:
We're trusting ourselves in terms of our behavior that we are acting in ways that are good for us, that follow with our values, that we're in alignment with our values, that follow with the words that we say. We say what we're going to do, and then we do what we say, and then we build up over time this really beautiful trust in ourselves. It doesn't matter how unstable everyone else around you is acting as long as you trust yourself. When you trust yourself at that kind of deeper level, you can kind of poke fun at all the instability in the world because within you, you know that you can make things happen. You know that you can trust yourself. You know that things are gonna happen just because you've said they're going to happen. It's a really powerful, beautiful state to achieve. And again, it's not always stable, but we're going to invest in this kind of self care.

Dr. Christine Li [00:04:54]:
We're gonna invest in thinking to ourselves, how do I trust myself even more than I do already? It's a beautiful thing to work on and to work through. The second idea for you about non traditional self care is to be confident in your sense of safety. And I mentioned safety because safety is perhaps an even bigger concept and even more important than trust. Because if we don't feel safe in our environment, in our world, in our thoughts about the world and ourselves, in our physical body, then all bets are off for productivity or getting things done or enjoying ourselves because we're really hyper focused on safety all the time. We're supposed to be focused on safety because without safety, nothing else really matters. Love doesn't matter, health doesn't matter, etcetera, etcetera. So whenever you're feeling somewhat unsafe or insecure about anything, you want to take that as a sign that you need to check-in with yourself. You need to check-in with what your belief system is at the moment.

Dr. Christine Li [00:06:12]:
You need to check-in with yourself about who are you depending on to get you through this period where you're feeling a little bit shaky or wobbly or unsteady or unsure of yourself in some sort of transition that you might be going through, like a big move, physical geographic move. I make up words on this show, as you know. Alright. So not only do you need to trust yourself, which is point 1, you need to make sure that you surround yourself with this confidence that you are in a safe position. That means that you have your basics all taken care of, that you trust yourself, that you can continue to keep this moving forward, that you trust the people around you, that you trust your own communication to keep yourself safe. It is all coming back to you as I'm trying to show you in this episode. So build that trust, build that sense of core safety, and then we can move on to even bigger and brighter things. The third idea that I have for you is that you need to begin valuing yourself in a big way, enough that you are willing to invest this kind of time and energy and effort into your own growth and improvement.

Dr. Christine Li [00:07:34]:
Sometimes, we get caught in a cycle or a habit or a multiyear pattern of taking care of just about everybody but ourselves. And that can, of course, serve our society, our community, our families, our neighbors, but we always have to remember we still have to serve ourselves. We cannot leave ourselves out of this equation because when we do, things happen. Things go awry. Things like burnout, things like making mistakes, things like feeling regret, things like people not really respecting our boundaries because we're not showing up to represent and preserve our boundaries. So know that it's never going to be selfish in quotes or dangerous for you to invest in nurturing yourself, developing yourself, taking time for yourself because that's the bedrock for everything else. You can't be helping other people well if you are not taking care of yourself at a very high level at the start. The 4th idea that I have for you is to see challenges and opportunities in your life as not difficulties, but as space for learning, space for growth, space for understanding yourself better, space for developing resilience instead of thinking, oh my god, it's another thing on my to do list.

Dr. Christine Li [00:09:12]:
Oh my god. How am I ever gonna have the time or energy to fix this or to learn this new thing or to submit this set of taxes? If you see everything as a drain on your energy, everything will act as a drain on your energy because you will give your energy out to try to meet that challenge, but you're going to be surrendering your energy rather than conserving your energy. When you see challenges or new experiences or new demands in your life as opportunities for growth and resilience and continuation of your progress forward, then what happens is you end up protecting your energy. You end up feeling like you're getting stronger, not weaker. But again, you have to be in that trusting, I am safe, I am well, I am growing kind of mindset in order to make that perspective take root and hold sway over that situation. It's very easy in these modern days that we're living to get overwhelmed, to feel like, okay. I give up. I surrender.

Dr. Christine Li [00:10:26]:
It's all overwhelming. It's all too much to bear. And I certainly empathize with that experience, but I wanna coach you to understand that you have a better option. You have the option of saying to yourself, I am someone who's gonna rise above the current atmosphere or the current difficulty. I am going to make sure I keep my energy vibrant and alive and clear and unmuddied by weird beliefs, negative thinking, pessimism, self doubt, or lack of self trust. I'm gonna keep myself really strong, almost at a superhero level, if you have to think of it that way, be my guest, and then go forward. So challenge yourself in positive ways. Of course, we're not aiming to create more work for ourselves.

Dr. Christine Li [00:11:26]:
We're actually aiming to make the work that we have in front of us feel a little less burdensome. So that's the tip there. The 5th idea I have for you is know what you desire to see. So all of the first few steps are about the groundwork that you wanna set yourself up with proper care, proper self nurturing so that you can meet the challenges of the day. But you don't just wanna be a passive player in your life. You also wanna be a designer, creator, architect of your life. You wanna be like a Walt Disney. You wanna create the dream version of your life, the version that nobody else quite understands or might not be able to envision alongside of you.

Dr. Christine Li [00:12:14]:
But that's okay because their job is to envision their lives. It's your job to create yours. So go wild, be like Walt Disney, be like the inventors who create things out of nothing or things out of scraps or things out of just pure ideas and inspiration. Know that you are a creator just like any other famous creator you have learned about in school or know about in your neighborhood. You have that creative spark inside of you. You've developed your own life, and that is a beautiful work of art, and you could push it out even further. You can go wild with your life if you let yourself believe. That's probably some sort of Disney slogan.

Dr. Christine Li [00:12:59]:
If you let yourself believe, you can create the dream life that you get to dream. You have that right. So allow yourself to play also. Self development doesn't always have to be a slog or an effort or a climb uphill. It can just be sliding and gliding and having fun and experiencing what a magician you really are. The 6th idea that I have for you about knowing self care in a different way is that I want you to tend to the part of you that only you can give to the world, The part of you that is uniquely you. I happen to be someone who I think has a pretty unique spin on procrastination and recovery from procrastination, and I am trying to do my all to convey that to the world and to you, dear listener. So what is it for you that makes you unique? I'm also kind of creative in other ways, and I try to dig deep in those ways as well.

Dr. Christine Li [00:14:09]:
This podcast is one way that I'm learning and enjoying to express my uniqueness and creativity, and I invite you to see if you're not already working on this to open up a channel of uniqueness that you haven't been able to in the past. Maybe you haven't felt deserving. Maybe you haven't felt like you've had the time. Maybe you felt that the world has already seen somebody like you before. I'm gonna invite you to challenge all of that limiting thinking and say to yourself, what can I do today in 5 or 10 minutes that could just let me explore and express this creativity and uniqueness I have inside of me by design to the world or with the world? I invite you to do that. Let me know by sending me a message or a picture or a video of anything that you decide to do because you listen to this show. You can send it to me through Instagram. I'm pretty sure.

Dr. Christine Li [00:15:07]:
Just direct message me anytime. Alright. Number 7. I want you to find extra sources of energy, and I'm gonna share with you one very easy space and source of your lost energy, and that is with your focus on other people. So if you are suffering from comparisonitis where you're thinking your neighbor is better off than you or their house is cleaner or your best friend has got more degrees and more income than you, Duke, all of that thinking, it's I understand why you're thinking like that, but that is where all your energy is going or at least some of it. And know that you can reclaim all this interpersonal energy by deciding you're not gonna compare yourself negatively to anyone else anymore because you'd rather take that energy and build yourself up and save a lot of time and clear your mind of thoughts that might bring you down. You might save your time from trying to change other people because as many of us know, that oftentimes is wasted time, wasted thoughts, wasted desire. When we're thinking, oh, we're gonna change our partner or we're gonna change our children or we're gonna change our neighbors because we don't agree with them or we don't like how they're behaving, that is their business.

Dr. Christine Li [00:16:39]:
We might have an influence, but putting all of our energy into changing other people, I think, can oftentimes be a losing game where you end up feeling less powerful instead of more enlivened or empowered because you've put your effort into other people. So I say, reclaim that energy for yourself, enjoy that extra energy, that extra focus that you return to your brain, and create instead, create wellness from within, create a sense of security, create a sense of success, create a sense of an abundance of time, resources, influence, whatever you want for yourself. Create that vision with that recollected, reclaimed energy. And then the last tip that I have for you is like number 1 and 2, very important. You wanna make yourself the priority and the goal at the same time. I will explain. By making yourself the priority, that means you're always gonna check-in with yourself. You are always going to start with a proper morning routine so that you know how to go get the day.

Dr. Christine Li [00:17:52]:
You're always gonna start checking in to make sure that you have not depleted yourself accidentally or perhaps even by design, that you're gonna just make sure that you are the priority, you're the main scene, you're the main actor, you're the plot line, you're everything. You're the director, you're the actor, and you're the audience all at the same time. So make yourself the priority. And then when I say make yourself the goal, you are a changing being. Every day, you're changing. Every hour, you're changing. Perhaps we could say every minute, you're changing. So, what is that change all directed towards? Who do you wanna become? So it's even bigger than the vision of what your life is gonna look like down the road.

Dr. Christine Li [00:18:42]:
It's kind of like, who do you wanna be today? Who do you wanna be right now? And can you prioritize and make that gel and take place and happen and sparkle. I have to throw in the word sparkle somehow in this episode because this is all about you. Why do we get massages and haircuts and nice things done to our bodies and appearances? Because we wanna sparkle. We wanna feel good from, I'd say, sometimes the outside in, but I think it's even better to feel great from the inside out. It makes that exterior appearance all that more sparkly. So enjoy experimenting with these 8 tips on nontraditional self care. Think of me when you're doing these things. Send me the direct messages when you're enjoying, exploring, paying attention to yourself in this wonderful way.

Dr. Christine Li [00:19:41]:
I know you're gonna love it, and I can't wait to share and all the positive energy that gets generated from your efforts and from my efforts and what we're gonna share in this world together. If you would like a recap and a worksheet for all of these self care techniques, I have a free download for you. And you can get that at make time for success podcast.com/selfcare. Again, it's maketimeforsuccesspodcast.com/selfcare. Just the letters, s e l f c a r e. And I'm so glad you visited me on the podcast today. I'm so glad you're here, and I look forward to seeing you next week. Take care.

Dr. Christine Li [00:20:30]:
Bye bye.

Dr. Christine Li [00:20:32]:
Thank you for listening to this episode of the Make Time For Success podcast. If you enjoyed what you've heard, you can subscribe to make sure you get notified of upcoming episodes. You can also visit our website, maketimeforsuccesspodcast.com, for past episodes, show notes, and all the resources we mention on the show. Feel free to connect with me over on Instagram too. You can find me there under the name, procrastination coach. Send me a d m and let me know what your thoughts are about the episodes you've been listening to. And let me know any topics that you might like me to talk about on the show. I'd love to hear all about how you're making time for success.

Dr. Christine Li [00:21:12]:
Talk to you soon.