From Potential to Performance: Optimizing Your Unique Talents with Dr. Christine Li

Dr. Christine Li [00:00:01]:
Welcome back to the Make Time for Success podcast. This is episode number 168. We are raring to go today in this Believe, Achieve, and Succeed series on the podcast, where I am focusing on 4 different elements of success to help you understand the layers that you need to pay attention to when you are working towards your most meaningful goals. We are in part 2 of the series today, and we will be putting the spotlight on how to identify and connect with your unique talents. I will be explaining why connecting with yourself is such an important driver of success and how to amplify the natural skills that you have in abundance. Let's go listen

Dr. Christine Li [00:00:46]:
to this episode together now. Hi. I'm doctor Christine Li, and I'm a psychologist and a procrastination coach. I've helped thousands of people move past procrastination and overwhelm so they could begin working to their potential. In this podcast, you're going to learn powerful strategies for getting your mind, body, and energy to work together so that you can focus on what's really important and accomplish the goals you want to achieve.

Dr. Christine Li [00:01:20]:
When you start living within your full power, you're going to

Dr. Christine Li [00:01:24]:
see how being productive can be easy and how you can create success on demand. Welcome to the Make Time For Success podcast.

Dr. Christine Li [00:01:36]:
Hi there. I am so glad you're with me today as we embark on the second episode of our believe, achieve, and succeed series. Today, we're gonna focus on how to optimize your unique talent, a very exciting topic in my opinion, because I believe that one of the major reasons why people don't succeed at levels that they are capable of is because they are holding their unique talents back in some way. They're either not recognizing them, they're not valuing them, or they're not deploying them. So let's get into this topic together right now. I would like to start by having you think about situations or things or events that cause you to feel stressed. Yes. I said the word stress.

Dr. Christine Li [00:02:35]:
The stress word itself can make a person feel stressed. What comes to mind? I am gonna guess that you may be thinking of things or words like fear, overwhelm, needing to rise to a new level of performance, and you're just inexperienced in that area, situations where you need to make really important, meaningful decisions, situations where you feel like you don't know what you need to know in the moment when you're feeling caught off guard perhaps, and or situations where you feel like you're just not worthy of what you have, what you're doing, what you're being given. All of those situations, I believe, have a common thread running through them, and that is that they are situations where, temporarily, you may be feeling like you get disconnected from yourself. Let that sit with you for a minute. When you feel like you need to get on stage in front of 500 people that you do not know, do you have experience with yourself to stay connected with yourself, or are you someone who feels like you're red in the face, your heart is racing, and your mind is going blank. If you're somewhere in between, that's good too. I just want you to examine for yourself what are the situations that cause you to feel disconnected from yourself, like you're panicking, like you're anxious, like you're not who you really are. And then I want you to do a second exercise.

Dr. Christine Li [00:04:12]:
I would love for you to now change scenarios and envision your kitchen table and look at what is your kitchen table made of. Who's sitting across from the table from you? Is it your grandparent? Is it your loved one? Your grandparent is likely your loved one as well. Is it your lover? Is it your best friend from long ago who's in town visiting you? Whoever it is, imagine you talking about old times with that person, joking and laughing about the silly things that you used to do, joking about how much time has gone by since you last saw that person. Whatever it is, think about how connected you are feeling in that moment. Perhaps you're feeling truly yourself. Perhaps you're feeling really authentically you. Perhaps you're feeling truly calm, comfortable, and satisfied in that moment. And the reason I chose to start off this episode with those two exercises is because throughout every day, we have to go through different states of stress and different states of relaxation.

Dr. Christine Li [00:05:29]:
That I think is a typical day. And I think the way to achieve success more often is to get really used to feeling in that connected state where you're feeling like every moment is a kitchen table moment with your best friend or your lover or your grandparent. And I think that is something that takes some practice. It takes some practice with your nervous system. It takes some practice with your belief system. And as we move on in this episode, I'm gonna give you a few examples of how to get to that state, how to do that practice. I feel that this is important work because when we feel disconnected from ourselves, that is fertile ground for our old friend, our dear friend, procrastination. Disconnection from ourselves, I think, is the crux of procrastination.

Dr. Christine Li [00:06:27]:
It's the entire reason we even go into procrastination in the first place. I've always thought that it's not the difficulty of the work that we're about to do that makes us wanna procrastinate. It is the doubt that we have about ourselves, our ability to tolerate the work, our ability to be good enough for the work, our ability to finish the work, all of that self doubt is what is repelling us from doing the work. It's not actually how difficult the work is because in the end, we all overcome our procrastination and end up doing the work. So it must not have been the work itself. It was likely the emotional stuff that we had to go through that made us feel like there's no way I'm going near that project, at least not right now. So it's, again, really important to build your muscle of staying connected to yourself, to build that practice of not being afraid of coming apart at the seams when you're facing a crowd of 500 people and you need to deliver your best message to them. Again, it's practice.

Dr. Christine Li [00:07:37]:
You may be very brand new at this, so be patient with yourself and know that this is something you can definitely learn for yourself. So back to the topic of today's episode, your unique talents. I think it's really important that you become really well acquainted and really specific about knowing what your strengths are, and, conversely, where you feel shaky, and what you do like and what you don't like from an energetic standpoint. What are the things that make you feel like you're a surfer, like you're riding the waves, like the winds in your hair, Like, you're not gonna fall off the board, and you're just magically conducting the universe. You are a surfer winning the talent competition. You're that energized. You're that empowered. And then you wanna think about situations that maybe throw you off balance.

Dr. Christine Li [00:08:36]:
Maybe it is being surprised. Maybe it's being called upon in class. Maybe it's about spearheading a project and leading a team. I don't know what it is for you, but I would love for you to listen to your own intuition right now and think, what are the situations where I feel like a surfer winning the competition? And what are the situations where I feel like, you know what? Maybe you shouldn't choose me. Maybe I should back off from the limelight here or the spotlight here. Right now, I'm gonna start with myself as an example for learning how to examine your own style, your own personality, your own way of doing things, and digging deep for your unique talents. And you may be someone who is very negative about yourself right now. You might be someone who is on the journey towards healing that voice that is critical about yourself right now, and you might be someone who knows you have so many different talents to share with the world.

Dr. Christine Li [00:09:41]:
No matter which category you are in right now, I think listening to my own experience will help you to examine your skills a little bit more closely. I am someone who is rather slow in my movements. My spirit animal, I say jokingly, but mostly seriously, is the sloth. I can be slow, slow. I can be really spacey, like a total space cadet sometimes. I can be really thoughtful to the point where time is a wasting. And I have found that when people pressure me to move more quickly, like to get out the door or to hand in something really quickly, some sort of pressure regarding time, I can get very easily disconnected with myself. It's almost instantaneous because I feel my focus goes to the fear.

Dr. Christine Li [00:10:37]:
I fear disappointing other people. I fear being too slow for other people. I fear irritating other people. I fear letting myself down. It's all of those fears in a moment, in a single moment. And then I get disconnected with myself. Over the years, I have decided that that kind of trigger happened so much that I needed to fix my reaction to that trigger. I needed to stop saying to myself, oh, I can't keep up.

Dr. Christine Li [00:11:09]:
Oh, I must be a terrible person, or I must be holding everyone back. Instead of doing that, I ended up feeling that my own pace is the right pace for myself, that I may be going way slower than everyone else. And everyone else might be running light years ahead of me, but that they are fine, and I am fine too. There's no comparison because we're such different people. I am super fast at some other things, and those other people are slower in other areas that I might not even know about. But for me to take myself down, to think I'm not good enough, to worry about being ostracized or criticized just because my rate of getting things done is slower than other people's is just not okay anymore. It's not okay by me because it doesn't allow me to support myself. It doesn't allow me to feel comfortable enough to work at my highest, quickest speed.

Dr. Christine Li [00:12:12]:
And so I just decided I'm comfortable with my rate of work, and I am now much better able at helping other people calm their horses down, be patient while I'm getting myself together or getting myself up to speed. And I found that I'm proud of myself for reaching this point where I can speak up for myself, where I don't have to feel disconnected from myself anymore. And I also, in this process have realized there are so many different benefits for being slower in your peace. Just as I was preparing this episode, my notes included the tremendous benefits to being like a sloth, which include you can always see the lay of the land. I think people who are slower to do things, they really are considering all the options. They're being very thoughtful. They're not making impulsive decisions. And I think slower people or myself, I can speak for myself at least, we have a sense of how things ebb and flow.

Dr. Christine Li [00:13:21]:
So we're not anxious to just jump on every wave. We can say, oh, you know what? This wave feels really good for me. And then when we're in, we're really in. And then the other benefit of being sloth like is that we notice finer details that when you're going really quickly, those details might just go by you. You just might miss the finer details, the fun things, the the enjoyable things and seeing people and what they're saying to you at a deeper level. I think those are some of my higher level skills, and they may very well be related to the fact that I am a slow mover. So my point is here, you can build a deeper awareness of your own personal set of skills. Maybe you're slow too.

Dr. Christine Li [00:14:11]:
Maybe that's not your particular skill that you wanna work on. But my main point is that I would love for you to get away from belittling yourself or criticizing yourself or not seeing yourself as enough just because you have a particular skill that other people don't value or that you're feeling nervous about yourself. Instead, I would love for you to really dig deep and understand that the way you are operating is truly valuable, truly worthy, and you are a competent person with unlimited potential, and that should never be questioned by you or by anyone else. And when you get to that point, when you feel that muscle building day after day after day, that confidence, that true belief in yourself. When you do that, you allow yourself a sense of safety that will prevent you from getting disconnected from yourself. It's basically a safeguard against procrastination to truly believe in yourself and your talents, the weaker ones and the stronger ones, that you are the full package. Just knowing that is going to serve as a launch pad or a surfboard for you for all the future decisions and reflections and creative ideas that come from you from this point on. Instead of doubting yourself and sinking below the zero level line, you're gonna always be at the zero level line or above.

Dr. Christine Li [00:15:50]:
You're gonna feel hopeful. You're gonna feel positive. You're going to feel like you're willing to try something that used to feel really risky to you in the past. And I'm just really grateful that I get this opportunity to teach you this, that you should not need to take yourself down because you're the person who is most responsible for keeping yourself elevated, for keeping your energy high, for keeping all of your skills at a ready to go level or higher. Now let's turn the focus onto you. I've spent enough time talking about how slow I can be. I would love for you to look at yourself. How would you characterize yourself? How would your friends and those who know you the best, your loved ones, your family, your teachers, how would they characterize you? Write a list of those words, both positive and negative.

Dr. Christine Li [00:16:49]:
Lay it all out on a piece of paper. And I'm gonna give you a few hints in case you're having difficulty doing this exercise. Are you slow or are you speedy? Are you sensitive? Are you aware of everybody's feelings or are you oblivious to other people's feelings? You're feeling very much focused on yourself. That could be something that you come to this planet with, that kind of skill. Are you a logical person or do you lean more creative? And, of course, logical people can be creative and creative people can be logical, But I do think that there tends to be 2 buckets where people are mostly logical and people are mostly creative. So I'm gonna say it like that just for this exercise. Are you optimistic? Do you feel like everything is going well and about to go well? Or are you pessimistic or skeptical that you are wondering what's on the other side of this argument or this person's actions. Do you prefer support from other people? Do you like being surrounded by other people? Or do you prefer to think things through by yourself? Do you prefer to gather your energy while you're alone? Are you anxious or are you very spontaneous and risk taking and loosey goosey? Just figure yourself out a little bit.

Dr. Christine Li [00:18:15]:
I know you know yourself very well already. Let's put some words to this and see where you feel maybe the most strong and where do you feel the most shaky and just work with this. Consider this your raw material to make something beautiful in terms of your own operating system. We're working towards building this muscle of feeling strong in yourself. The point of this exercise is not to put you in a little teeny box of stereotypes or to make you believe that you're always going to be one side or the other in these sets of characteristics. This exercise is meant to make sure you know how you tick and that you can rely on these features in good times and in times of stress. It's your job to support those parts of yourself that make you stand out, that make you unique. And it's your job to learn how to share those with others so that they too can feel that they can act in alignment with themselves and create success in the world.

Dr. Christine Li [00:19:24]:
As much as we want success for ourselves, we can also simultaneously help others create success in their lives too. You are no longer going to waste your precious time stressing out about whether or not you are good enough, whether or not you are old enough or young enough or beautiful enough and all that kind of stuff. You are gonna see yourself instead as the full package as you are. You don't need to grow older. You don't need to take another degree. You don't need to have support because you are the full package as you are. I do believe in my heart of hearts that when you act from this core solid belief that you are enough, everything will move towards success much more quickly and much more smoothly. Those people in the world who think that there's only so much success to go around in the world, I feel like those people have a little bit more to learn about how success works.

Dr. Christine Li [00:20:27]:
We are each capable of just so much, so much that we would be, like Einstein says, or I think it was Edison, or something like if we were able to accomplish everything that we are capable of, we would truly astound ourselves. It's my favorite quote. And I think it to be true that each of us is gifted with unlimited potential. And it's our job to let ourselves succeed, to let ourselves be excellent, to let ourselves shine brightly and surf those waves because we were meant to do that. So before I wrap up this episode, I hope you've enjoyed everything here so far. I would love to ask you 3 questions as another exercise. Where have you been feeling disconnected from yourself and your strengths? Think about that for a few minutes, and perhaps journal that down as well. And then a second question, how can you remedy that disconnection and return yourself to that aligned, powerful, and clear self, the self that is surfing on that wave, feeling completely connected and secure in yourself.

Dr. Christine Li [00:21:44]:
And the last question I have for you is what will you put into action once you reconnect with that power inside of you? I cannot wait to feel the ripple effect of your emerging and acting in that state of full power. I would love to hear the literal event that you do, the literal action that you're about to take, or the result that you are able to attain, the success that you are able to achieve. But we need to be connected on Instagram in order for me to know what you are doing. Please follow me on Instagram at procrastination coach. Send me a direct message anytime about your wins. I love to hear about them. I love to hear your feedback about any episode that I have on this podcast, and I just like to be connected with you all. So thank you so much for listening to this episode all about optimizing your unique talents.

Dr. Christine Li [00:22:40]:
You know at this point that you are filled with unique talents and that you have this wonderful opportunity to build yourself up and to let those talents affect the world on an even more impactful level. Thank you again. I will see you next week for episode 3 of the series, And next week, we're gonna talk about how to build unshakable trust in yourself. I'll see you then.

Dr. Christine Li [00:23:09]:
Thank you for listening to this episode of the Make Time For Success podcast. If you enjoyed what you've heard, you can subscribe to make sure you get notified of upcoming episodes. You can also visit our website, maketimeforsuccesspodcast.com, for past episodes, show notes, and all the resources we mentioned on the show. Feel free to connect with me over on Instagram too. You can find me there under the name procrastination coach. Send me a DM and let me know what your thoughts are about the episodes you've been listening to. And let me know any topics that you might like me to talk about on the show. I'd love to hear all about how you're making time for success.

Dr. Christine Li [00:23:49]:
Talk to you soon.