How to Stop Procrastination with Dr. Christine Li and Monica Little

Christine Li  0:01  
Hello there and welcome back to the Make Time for Success podcast. This is episode number 120. If you remember a short while ago in episode number 113, I interviewed the amazing guest, Monica Little, in an episode entitled The Secret to Getting The Best Results in Business And Life. It was the episode where Monica demonstrated incredible business acumen, and also incredible drive to build a mindset that was straight up set up for success. I love Monica, I love everything that she does. And she called me and suggested that we consider rerunning the interview that she did with me for her show, The Product Biz podcast on this show, and I thought that was a fantastic idea. And you're going to hear the conversation that Monica and I had about procrastination, you're going to hear my explanation of what procrastination is and why it's so darn tempting to use it. And also why it's important to really find out why we might choose being stuck over being in flow. We also have a discussion about the difference between procrastination and self sabotage. And also, we offer suggestions for eliminating self criticism and shame. And finally, I offer a list of questions that you can ask yourself, when you feel you want to shorten the time between your intention and your reaching your goals. I loved reconnecting with Monica over the production of this episode, and I can't wait for you to hear this great conversation. Let's go listen to it now.

Hi, I'm Dr. Christine Li, and I'm a psychologist and a procrastination coach. I've helped 1000s of people move past procrastination and overwhelm so they can begin working to their potential. In this podcast, you're going to learn about powerful strategies for getting your mind, body and energy to work together so that you can focus on what's really important and accomplish the goals you want to achieve. When you start living within your full power, you're going to see how being productive can be easy, and how you can create success on demand. Welcome to the Make Time for Success podcast.

Monica Little  2:32  
Hello, and welcome to The Product Biz podcast. My name is Monica Liittle. And I'm your host and I am so excited for today's episode with special guest procrastination coach, Christine Li. We have such an awesome conversation about what procrastination actually is how it can show up in the form of self sabotage how procrastination is actually stopping you from reaching your goals and what you can do about it. This is such an awesome conversation with Dr. Christine Li. Not only is she a procrastination coach, but she is a clinical psychologist. And in her procrastination work, she specializes in helping her clients identify and understand the actual stories, the beliefs behind the procrastination so you can reconnect with your natural motivation, your natural talents and be productive and what you do. She uses a very unique coaching process that's a blend of Mindset, Strategy, time and emotional management, and has an amazing belief and the power that each of us have as individuals. She's also the host of the Make Time for Success podcast, which features the stories of people who have overcome self doubt and resistance to find personal and professional success. I am so excited for you to hear from Christine today. And if procrastination is something that you struggle with, if you have a never ending to do list and you're not making much progress; if you find yourself getting busy with busy work, instead of doing the hard things that you need to do in your business, then you are going to love today's episode. Without further ado, let's chat with Dr. Christine Li. Well, hello, Christine. I'm so excited to have you here today on the product this podcast to talk all about procrastination.

Christine Li  4:25  
Thank you, Monica. So happy to be here. Happy to see you.

Monica Little  4:29  
Oh my gosh. This is like the perfect episode starting in January and the New Year as people make resolutions. So I would love to dive into all things procrastination with you knowing that you are procrastinating coach but before we get there, I would love for you to just introduce yourself. So the person listening gets to know about who you are and what you do.

Christine Li  4:49  
Well thank you for that. Monica. I am so happy to be here. I'm Dr. Christine Lee. I am a clinical psychologist, which is how I got the doctor I had in my name. I have also been calling myself procrastination coach for over a decade online. So I've been around the block a time or two, it's been really fun online, it's caused me to open up a whole different side of me, I think that is different than the part of me that I use for therapy, and therapy clients. Of course, there's marketing, and being on camera and selling and all of that fun stuff. So I'm really glad to be able to unpack all of this stuff with Monica. And you today, I feel like my specialty came about, quite honestly, I have been a lifelong procrastinator. And a couple of decades ago, I began to begin my recovery, a certain due life events happened, including starting a family or adding to my family that caused me to really bear down and say, If I don't figure this stuff out, my entire family is going to go down with me. And I just didn't, of course want that to happen. And in the process of helping myself and helping clients. I've come up with lots of very simple, very meaningful techniques to help people observe themselves and think well of themselves and get their energy together to move forward in the best way possible. And this is where I'm at, in my business. And in my practice, and in my work right now I'm in this nice space where I've been around the block a time or two, I feel confident in my body, mind and in my message, and I'm just ready to deliver it to as many people as well listen.

Monica Little  6:41  
Oh my gosh. And I love that because I think procrastination is such a common thing. There's so many people that I think struggle with it. And I know some of my clients struggle with it too. And they've even asked me like, oh, my gosh, I procrastinate so much. What do I do? How do I get over procrastination? And sometimes I've struggled with answering that because I'm personally not someone who struggles too much with procrastination. I think as we talk, I'll probably maybe changed around be like, Okay, I think I might actually be procrastinating. But I struggle with answering that question for other people. So when we connected and I saw your procrastination coach, I'm like, this episode is going to help so many people, it's such a specific topic. So I love to hear how you got started and your passion behind it. But I think to just level set things, I would love to know your definition of what procrastination truly is. And maybe what are some examples of how procrastination shows up with others?

Christine Li  7:40  
Okay, great. I have a very simple replies for all of these types of questions. Procrastination is just when we willingly put off something that we actually can do on the spot, or in the present moment, or today or that on that current day, and examples of how procrastination comes up. It's just the gamut, right? We can procrastinate around brushing our teeth, around making dinner around walking the dog around cleaning up a mess around sending a thank you around opening an email. So I think it isn't just that there are procrastinators. And not I think life is filled with opportunities for us to resist taking action. And for me, the wonderful fun part of helping people is helping people to find out what is going on inside of themselves inside their body, mind and spirit that is causing them to choose being blocked over choosing flow, and success and activity and action. I think we've all been there. So we're all in this conversation together. And I think because we've all been there, it's really important to use a strategy of kindness towards anyone who's struggling with this issue for any reason whether it's brushing your teeth, or writing your dissertation, or selling skincare online, we have to be understanding that the person is having some difficulty and just help them move a step or two so that they can continue on again.

Monica Little  9:19  
Yeah, absolutely. And I think it's interesting to have how you mentioned acknowledging what's going on and giving a little bit of grace about it too, because I'm sure as people listen to this episode, they may be like, Oh my gosh, I definitely am procrastinating and I need to change but it's like, Hey, be kind to yourself, right? Once you notice anything like this, it's it all comes back to that personal development of wanting to be better and knowing where there are some spots that maybe could be brushed up a little bit, right. But it's all part of the journey of becoming the best version of ourselves, not only for ourselves, but for our family, for our business for wherever we want to continue to grow. So one thing that you mentioned is willingly putting things So do you ever notice for procrastination as you work with people on procrastination? Do you ever notice that some procrastination is kind of conscious where people are like, Okay, I know I gotta brush my teeth or okay, I know I got to reply to this. So I'm just gonna do it later, right? They're pretty consciously putting it off. But do you notice procrastination in maybe an unconscious way? Where people are avoiding something that they may not really know is procrastination? What's what's the difference between those two aspects right there?

Christine Li  10:35  
What an excellent, deeper question. And for me, over the years, I've decided to call unconscious procrastination, self sabotage. This is where you're really not meaning to you're not intending to. It's not how you've structured your life. But the procrastination arises anyway. And I think all self sabotage is completely fascinating. been fun to unpack sometimes terrible in your life, of course. But it's also our body's way of keeping us really safe, really, really, really safe, right? Keeping us away from dangers that we once thought were real, but now are ready to move past. But sometimes we need to do that deeper work of saying, I'm ready, but I'm not yet there. And we need to unpack what were the original fears? What was I thinking about myself? Where does my identity need a shift or a boost so that I can encompass the new behaviors safely, without self sabotage? And the good news is that when you find that you've been sabotaging yourself, somehow, you can always correct that's the good news about the work that I do. It always ends up with positive score, is it right people say socket that everyone actually wants to heal, and that actually, we are naturally? Well, that's also a belief of mine, that we came to this planet ready to go. And that is really our base setting is that we are up for fun, we're up for expansion, we're up for more. And we just have to be careful that we're not endangering ourselves. That's where procrastination, self sabotage, self harm of any kind, right addiction. That's when that stuff, negativity, that all that stuff arises when we're feeling like we're out of our comfort zone. And we're about to head into some dangerous zone. And that, again, is understandable, we need to be very kind to ourselves as entrepreneurs. We're like the brave heroes and heroines of the world these days, because we're literally creating things that don't exist for the benefit of other people, while also having to deal with our own personal demons and Gremlins and hang ups along the way. It's not an easy game, and anyone who's listening to your podcast is in this game with us. And so take my advice, comment down, be super kind to yourselves. And if you can eliminate the self criticism and the shame, what would be left? What would be the issue that you would need to work through and just look at it as a very neutral landscape rather than I'm never going to make it my future is in the toy. I'll never get another sale. That kind of doomsday thinking helps no one. Yeah. Oh,

Monica Little  13:25  
my gosh, there's so many things that you said that resonates so much. And I want to give one example of self sabotage. I absolutely love how you said conscious procrastination is procrastination, right? You know that you should do something but you're not doing it. But unconscious procrastination is self sabotage, that is an awesome way to look at it. And one thing I want to mention just as an example of how this really creeps up, and I would love to know if you have examples from yourself for clients, too. But I noticed for myself, there was this one part of a project that I had on my list to do for the last like two months. And it's something new, it's Facebook ads, if something scary or requires money, it's outside of my wheelhouse. It's going to take time and energy and I found myself continuing to make myself busy with other things to the point that I never had, quote, unquote, time to do it. I would have like a free afternoon and I'd be like, no, wait, I gotta do laundry really quick. Or let me do these dishes or let me reply on Instagram or let me check my Instagram for the 15 million time. And this is something that came up. This is why I was joking. At the beginning. I'm like, I don't think I have a procrastination problem. But as we dive in, I might actually be like, Okay, this was something that I have some room to grow. But it's super interesting how that self sabotage comes up when we're doing something exactly like you said, outside of the comfort zone. It may be a fear, it may be something totally new. It's not safe. So we just do busy work with other things to the point that we never get there. So do you notice that A lot or do you notice any other specific examples of self sabotage, like busy work or anything else that comes up?

Christine Li  15:08  
These are such great questions and you make me laugh with the Facebook ads example. Because I think Facebook ads are built to cause stress, I think there's not a single person who's kind of just glided into a Facebook ad campaign, I just have that thought every time I consider running an ad of my own. And I've even had campaigns be a little behind schedule, just because I've spent a day or two extra when you need that extra day or two at the front to make sure your ad is going well. But I'm sitting there thinking, do I really want to do this? Is this worth some money, right? That's the danger, that there might be money loss, that we might have the wrong copy or the wrong image with a wrong message, and then it won't fly. But the thing is, as with all procrastination, we can't know until the action is started. Right. That's how we tell if a Facebook ad is actually going to bring us the revenue back is that we launch it and we sit there and we sit on our hands. And we try not to touch the screen again for a couple of days. And we have positive feelings about it. But that's really the answer to all procrastination, find your quickest way to taking action. And then let the the universe and the action itself guide the rest of the way, right, we're responsible for shortening the time between our intention, I need to start an ad and running the ad. So shorten the time between your intention and your chosen activity. After you've started, it's not even fully within your control in a good way that you've set the wheels in motion. Remember those, those mousetrap things where the ball will roll down the wire racks and go all over it. And it's fun to see where it goes. And it's a delight. And it's kind of that tension right before the ball is released. And that's just all we do in life when you think about it, right? When we go to brush our teeth. It's unscrewing the toothpaste cap or running the water. But it's just one habit after another one chain of routines after another and when you see that, even Facebook ads becomes easier it you see it as a means to an end. And you want to be the person who's focused not on your fear and not on danger signals, but on your chosen goal and on your desire for a better future for yourself. When you do that, everything becomes much, much easier. Now to your question about other examples of self sabotage, I should have a personal book diary on things that I've done that fall under the category of self sabotage things that I have now gotten to the point of laughing at, but it used to be very painful, where I would see myself sailing just at the point when I should be rising or when I should be succeeded or when I should be learning. But back in the day, I wasn't aware that this was all for me that it wasn't teaching me anything. I just kept thinking I was letting myself down, over and over and over again. It took me many years to get comfortable with Facebook ads as an example. I could have done it. I could have gotten a coach, I could have gotten courses, but I just let myself struggle for many, many years, probably more than I should have. I could have been making money. So now I'm better at tossing away the terror of the self sabotage when I realized, oh, it's happened again. And now I'm much quicker to say what needs fixing what needs activity, what needs forgiveness, what needs a brand new makeover, maybe I'm not even in the right zone. And maybe that's why the sabotage is coming up again. Because I do trust that my mind and body are good to go. They're not out to hurt me in any way. And that's something I've come to see only the past couple years actually, maybe even in 22 2022 I'm learning as I go. But each thing I learnt just adds to my belief that everything's good. Everything's good to go. No need to procrastinate. Really.

Monica Little  19:20  
Yes. And one thing that you said that I love is the time from your intention of what you want to do. And the time that you actually take action to shorten that. And I think that is such a perfect example of hey, if you struggle with procrastination, you know you have something you got to do. Or maybe it's a little bit of self sabotage where you're avoiding it because it is uncomfortable outside of your comfort zone, something new something scary, then the fact that you have that intention of wanting to do it. It's just about how do you start as fast as possible. And I know if you and I we have the same business coach. So I'm going to quote James and say Something he always says action creates clarity, right? Yes. And I tell this to my clients all the time that so many people wait for clarity first before they act. So maybe they're procrastinating because oh, I just gotta learn more, I gotta learn more. I gotta research more, I gotta do more of this when you're looking for that clarity before you act, but a lot of times that clarity isn't going to come, right, you have to act first. And then things become clear exactly like you said, then it's a mousetrap where the ball goes down, or the pinball or whatever it is. But when you act first, that will create clarity that will help you get over this procrastination, that will help you exactly like you said, to reach your goals. So I love to see how that all ties in. And it's so interesting just to see how much focusing on your beliefs, focusing on your goal, focusing on where you want to go, how that can help. So when people notice that they are procrastinating or self sabotaging, I know you talked a little bit about what's going on inside, like, What's black versus what is flow? Can you talk us through a little bit more about that and dive into it a little bit?

Christine Li  21:15  
That's a great question, too. I would say my belief is that our natural state is one of flow. When you think about it, every cell in our body is well because it is alive. In flow, energy coming through and energy moving out. Actually, when it comes down to it, we are composed of energy. And I like to say that energy doesn't like to be stagnant. And if it's stagnant, it's probably only temporary, right? Because otherwise the cells die or the river gets dried up or bad things start to happen when real stagnation takes root. So I think let's think, Oh, if I'm feeling stuck, that this is the oddity, it's not me trying the new thing, that's the oddity, it's me making myself stuck. And when you make that, that toxin to be afraid out, then you know exactly where to go, you know, you just stop paying attention to those fearful thoughts, the what if thoughts, the ruminative thoughts, and you started saying, Okay, I listened to Monica and Christine and they said, X, increase clarity, clarity. And James says, action creates clarity. So what action is needed next, so you can below why even the deepest fear when you just say, my fears out welcome? Here, it's not necessary either. And because I feel safe in myself and in my decision making capacity, what decision and action do I have to take now it's actually very simple. When you remove the stories, as James teaches us, from your operating system, when you make it like a system, right intention, action step, observe the results. Repeat. That's pretty much what we've learned from all of our coaches. And like I said, just a couple minutes ago, everything is a habit. So you're either turning on the switch, or you're refusing to, and that's the decision that we have to live with. Right? Whether or not we're procrastinating are self sabotaging the world will only see if we've turned on the light switch, or we've we've avoided it. And so you want to say like at the end of the day, what kind of results do I want to see? What what do I want to feel? What do I want to have accomplished? Sometimes procrastination is part of that journey. And we have to I say, I don't want to turn people into robots where they never fear and they never think about things. But if it really is your primary occupation during the day, yes, then you want to listen to what I'm saying, intently. And to what James and Monica are saying, get out there, do the scary thing. Get rid of your fears, do more things after that, do things that you think are crazy for you to do either, even and I really think you're gonna be fine. You might even be way happier, after showing yourself that you can survive these things. Yeah, and

Monica Little  24:11  
I think there's such a big correlation there, of when you are scared, and you don't self sabotage, and instead you just do it. That just builds up your confidence. It builds up your belief in yourself, it builds up like you said, your happiness, it builds up this, oh my gosh, I'm actually doing something uncomfortable and getting closer to my goal, to my dream to that house to that vacation, whatever it may be. So that's one thing. I always tell people to if if you struggle with confidence, if you struggle with not believing in yourself, it all comes back to just doing what you're gonna say that you'll do. And once you start to build up that rapport of like, okay, I said, I was gonna go to the gym and I went to the gym. Wow, I feel great about myself, right? You do that for a month and you're like, I kept this awesome commitment to myself and look at this and you feel like you're on top of the world and you can do anything. So if you take that same rationale, but apply it to your business, yeah, when something scares you do it, instead of shying away, there's a little bit of procrastination, reduce that time between intention and action. And then you start to build this belief in yourself. And then I think it becomes easier. So I would love to know from you, do you think some of this procrastination is self sabotage? As you start to acknowledge it and really work through it? Does it become easier for people as they continue on?

Christine Li  25:33  
I think you get wiser and wiser as you mature, I think, for most people. And if you're curious about self development, I think this def, the lessons are going to come automatically, right, the world is going to give it to you, whether it's in business or in your family, or in an interaction with the checkout person at the grocery store, you're going to need these lessons anyway. So don't shy away from them. Right? Do the experimentation, be bold, don't hide from your own life, because this is your life to run, right? It's not just the business. It's your life operating system that you want to maximize and optimize, right? You keep your car clean, you keep your life clean, too. And this stuff really does work. Things do get easier, you do get wiser. You do get braver, and then you see more and more results. And it does happen. I wanted to add for the business owners in the audience that you want to, I'm going to suggest one thing to remember, no one is blocking your business. And when you see that, then you think to yourself, Well, I think to myself, well, then what can I do next? Right? Because there's no rules. It's crazy that there are no rules, but there are no rules. And of course, the market sets expectations and your clients will help you see what are your limits for certain things. But there's no one really trying to attack your efforts or block your efforts. Or say that you're not good enough. It's us that is oftentimes the culprit, right? The the block, the interference, the resistance, the slowdown of our systems, and we just want to make sure that we're treating ourselves, not just in mindset, but in body, how we go to the gym, and how we eat and sleep and all of those habits as well. We have to keep ourselves in tip top shape. So we don't fall vulnerable to the errant thoughts to the errant, slow down to the blocking impulse to the person who says Oh, whoa, that somebody in my last launch said, well, that sounded like an ad. And I thought to myself, pardon me said, I have one I actually sound like an ad. After all these years of feeling invisible and quiet. This is a win. But then it can also be seen as an insult that Well, somebody's being salesy. And I thought let me just leave that as it is. Because I've put myself out there, right, I've done my best. And I cannot control what any one particular potential client or non client is going to think about my performance. I'm just proud of what I gained. And I'm actually proud that it sounded like an ad because it meant that somebody knew I was selling. Yeah, absolutely.

Monica Little  28:21  
And I think it goes back to what you said of no one is blocking your business. Because sometimes I think some people and especially when I first started off with someone would have said something like that to me. Like it could have been detrimental, right? And then I remind Yeah, and then every time you think about showing up again, like that's in the back of your mind, right? But when you truly believe no one is blocking the success of your business, anything is possible you're capable of reaching any goal, any dream, when you believe in that 100,000 million percent, then it's just like game time, right? Let's hit the field, let's get the touchdown, let's let's just roll through it. And it's having that belief and just knowing that your success is inevitable if you put in the work, and it requires this type of work to Moses type of work, the procrastination, the self sabotage, the limiting beliefs, the stories, that's like 80% of that, right. And that's actually doing the work on the laptop and things like that. Yeah, I absolutely love how you said that. Because that's such a big part of running a business that I think a lot of people trying to bypass. And there's this other quote that my friend says, which is your business is your best personal development journey. So this is part of it, you know, learning where you self sabotage.

Christine Li  29:42  
Yes, yes. It really is. And I did not know it was going to be that way. When I started I had a very open heart. I wanted to help the world. And it ended up the whole process helped me so much immeasurably and I know you and I are connected in other ways as well. We have had another Coast coach, our podcast coaches actually the same person, Monica just recently told me and that's just also something to put in this conversation that we can seek support in so many different ways that, although it's a self development journey, you don't have to feel like you're suffering in that growth process. Because really, we're all jumping over the same hurdles and going through the same hoops. So find those beautiful coaches. Find the right podcast person for you. Find the right mentor and open yourself up because it's just a game. It really is a game that you can win. Absolutely, just as Monica has so wonderfully said, it's fun. When you're in there, when you feel confident when you know nothing is blocking you. And you know, the results you want to see. Go get them.

Monica Little  30:53  
Oh my gosh, I love it. I think that was just so beautifully said. And I'm just so happy to have this conversation. I know it's going to help the person listening and so many others. I would love to end with knowing where people can follow you. What's your Instagram, I know you have a podcast too. So tell us more about where people can learn more from you.

Christine Li  31:15  
Thank you so much. I am procrastination coach. Everywhere on social media, including Instagram, Facebook, and tick tock tick tock is my new personal love. I love it because it's easy. So for any of you who are kind of shy on social media or feel like you don't have the time to do the social media, get on tick tock because you can just throw a snippet in there. And it can make waves there. And I really appreciate that you don't have to look all done up and have the perfect photo there. Go on tiktoks My podcast is my deep love of the past two years. It's called make time for success. And I would love for Monica to come on. She's gonna come on soon. And for our listeners today to sign up for the podcast there and listen to a few episodes. There's topics so many interviews, topics like clutter, developing your voice, developing your presence, procrastination, finding body doubles, people to help you do your work when you feel like you don't want to be alone. Everything's in there.

Monica Little  32:21  
Oh my gosh, I love it such an amazing resource. And I will make sure to link your social media pages and also the podcast in the show notes. So for the person listening, they can find it easily. And continue to learn from you. I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you so much. This has been such an awesome conversation. And I know we will be chatting again soon. But thank you for your time here today.

Christine Li  32:44  
Thank you, I have one more thing if you have time. So I have a list of free resources that any of our listeners can get access to. It's called the free resource library. I made this freebie so long ago. But this is evergreen material things like planners and templates and mantra makers, things to help support you getting your stuff in order at the beginning of the year. And to help you gain that momentum that we've been talking about that is so valuable. You can get that at procrastination coach.com/library. Again, procrastination koat.com/library Thank you for letting me share that.

Monica Little  33:24  
Oh, absolutely. And I'll make sure to link it and I'm gonna make sure to download it too. For like thing that I need as well. Well, thank you. Thank you so much, Christine. I appreciate it so much.

Christine Li  33:35  
Thank you. And good luck to everyone here. 

Thank you for listening to this episode of the Make Time for Success podcast. If you enjoyed what you've heard, you can subscribe to make sure you get notified of upcoming episodes. You can also visit our website maketimeforsuccesspodcast.com for past episodes, show notes and all the resources we mentioned on the show. Feel free to connect with me over on Instagram too. You can find me there under the name procrastination coach. Send me a DM and let me know what your thoughts are about the episodes you've been listening to. And let me know any topics that you might like me to talk about on the show. I'd love to hear all about how you're making time for success. We'll talk to you soon!

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