Navigating Personal Growth: How to Handle Life’s Uncomfortable Moments

Dr. Christine Li [00:00:01]:
Hi, and welcome back to the Make Time For Success podcast. I'm doctor Christine Lee, and this is episode number 179. The topic of this episode is the general concept of things that are uncomfortable for us. And to make the point, I discuss an entirely uncomfortable phase in my recent life and business. I share this because I want us all to grow together, and I want to be real about the content that I put out on this show. So I'm gonna try this out, and please feel free to send me feedback about whether you liked it. I hope you do. Or if you didn't like it, I would like that feedback as well.

Dr. Christine Li [00:00:48]:
But I wanted to let you know that these uncomfortable moments in our lives can be so useful. They can be so transformative. They can be really annoying when we're in them, but then we can come out feeling like we're really clear about the road to success afterwards. So let's go listen to this episode together and please let me know what you think.

Dr. Christine Li [00:01:21]:
Hi. I'm doctor Christine Lee, and I'm a psychologist and a procrastination coach. I've helped thousands of people move past procrastination and overwhelm so they could begin working to their potential. In this podcast, you're going to learn powerful strategies for getting your mind, body, and energy to work together so that you can focus on what's really important and accomplish the goals you want to achieve. When you start living within your full power, you're going to see how being productive can be easy and how you can create success on demand. Welcome to the make time for success podcast.

Dr. Christine Li [00:02:06]:
Hello there. Today, I'm going to try and tackle the topic of how to get comfortable doing things that feel really uncomfortable. I think this may be the subtext of all of my episodes, but I just wanted to hone in a bit today because I've been going through some things myself, and I thought I would be brave here and share a little bit about how I process things and a little bit about my actual process with the hopes and the expectation that at least some of it will be really helpful to you as you explore your own process of growth and change. The backstory is that I have been in a big phase, I would say, of both personal and business change and growth. This started in the fall of 2023, last year, and I just noticed lots of significant changes in my ways of thinking, my ways of being, my creativity, and how I was looking at my business. And I knew I needed a little bit of a shift. And if you know anything about personal development and or about online business, you will know that figuring out how to change and grow can really be more like an up and down roller coaster than a quiet, calm, upward climb. So I have kind of been through a lot of different back and forth thoughts about myself, who I am, what I'm doing, what my business is about, and what is in store for me and the business.

Dr. Christine Li [00:03:58]:
And I thought I would mention this scenario because I was in a state of really overthinking things. And I don't think I really realized that. And I think I was really stuck feeling like I was trying to work things through, but I wasn't really moving things in any direction at all. I was just thinking this isn't good enough, things aren't working well, I'm moving so slowly, things like that. Maybe you might understand that from your own experience recently or in the past. I think we're all there at some point in our lives. This point of feeling somewhat dissatisfied, impatient, kind of dreaming big, but also feeling like you're moving so slowly. So that's the state that I have been in.

Dr. Christine Li [00:04:50]:
And I wanna say that I sought help for this. I actually went to a live retreat with my business mentor, James Wedmore, and so many of my lovely friends who also work and study with him. Many of the people that you have seen as guests on my podcast, we all go and we learn together. And what I learned from that experience is that I had been overthinking, that I was thinking, well, I'm not ready for all of this. Well, I'm just behind everybody. Well, everyone else certainly has it figured out, and I must be doing something really wrong to be feeling this way. And I can't believe things are going as slowly as they are, and I can't believe I'm not seeing the results that I really crave and think are possible for me yet, things like that. I even thought for a moment that I should completely give this whole gig up, if you can believe it.

Dr. Christine Li [00:05:49]:
It lasted for not that long a period of time because I really am committed to my mission of helping people and taking care of people in that meaningful way of really sharing my experience and what I know so that other people can really thrive in the way that I have been able to thrive. That is really true, and I will not be giving that up. But I think you can understand that I had a few low low moments in the winter of 2023 crossing into 2024. And I just wanted to say, in hindsight, I can see that the way I was thinking and the way that I was actually stuck was just a sign that I'm human too. That as hard as I love to work and as much as I love to do things like create this podcast and create teachings and workshops and events, and I love to coach also that I can get stuck. And I can get into loops of nonsensical thinking or non effective or non efficient thinking too. So I want to share the good news that I'm not a business robot or a creative robot of any kind, that I really am deeply human just as you all are. And I think that's why you might be drawn to my podcast even, that I talk about issues that are really deeply human.

Dr. Christine Li [00:07:15]:
Things like procrastination, things like wanting to grow, things like overcoming past hurdles and hurdles that you thought were never really movable. That's what I'm about. That's what this show is about. And, of course, that's what the human experience is about. So I wanted to say a little bit more about this procrastination and overthinking and the states that we get ourselves in. When we find that we're procrastinating or overthinking, my suggestions would be to not only remind yourself that you're human and you get to think like that sometimes. I wanna put an even more positive light on those periods of time. Because I was so stuck and because I was in this kind of funk about my creativity and my business and a lot of other things, I think I really had this moment of just real reflection about what I was really wanting and what I could really change and how I could really make things run differently.

Dr. Christine Li [00:08:25]:
And I really don't think I would trade that time for anything because now that I'm on the other side of that period of its time, I actually feel much more clear, much more excited, and much more directed about my actions. I feel like I'm moving past the phase of my life where I'm spending too much time in deliberation, and I'm ready to do much more action. I'm ready to experiment more. I'm ready to show up more. I'm ready to give more. I'm ready to create more. And I just wanted to share that too in case you were getting a little bit worried about my state of the winter 2023. I was a little worried about myself, to be honest with you, but I also had a deeper understanding that this was part of my larger process.

Dr. Christine Li [00:09:22]:
So not only am I trying to create a reasonable, effective, and impactful business and method of creating good content for my clients and students and followers, I'm also creating my life at the same time. And so sometimes it's worth a little bit of extra thought. Sometimes it's worth a pause. Sometimes it's worth flying all the way across the country to go to a retreat, to go get some support, and to be with people that really know what you're going through. So that's another tip if you happen to be in a stuck mode. Find the people who really understand where you've been and where you wanna go and how to help you through this journey. I also wanted to add that you can do things that feel really uncomfortable, like these darker spots where you have to reflect, where you might have to deal with feelings that are comfortable, like low self esteem or feeling like you're behind or you've been procrastinating too much. Really, that reckoning time.

Dr. Christine Li [00:10:33]:
It's okay. You will survive that. That's the really wonderful news. And you'll survive that knowing yourself a little bit more. So now I wanna change the conversation a little bit and head down the, road of helping you to learn how to do things that might feel uncomfortable for you so that you get to head for more of the results that you desire and the impact that you might desire as well. I want you to grow alongside me. We're all in this together, and let's just go for this. Let's just do the things that we didn't think we were capable of doing in the past.

Dr. Christine Li [00:11:13]:
So the first idea that I have for you is to just tell yourself, you're gonna get comfortable doing the uncomfortable. All the things that you are currently comfortable with, you at some point in your life were not comfortable doing. So I wanna remind you of that. We are always thinking about the things that are difficult, the mountains ahead of us. But we oftentimes forget to also appreciate all the mountains that we've built and climbed and conquered and really breezed through even in the past. So just see yourself as someone who's more of an adventurer and really know that you're gonna survive the next adventure. It is okay. For me, I have turned this into a new habit of showing up on social media.

Dr. Christine Li [00:11:59]:
I've chosen Instagram as my favorite platform for now, and I'm just really putting my heart out there because I do think that that's gonna help make things easier for me, and it's gonna help me connect to my audience in a much clearer and quicker and more meaningful way. So if we're not friends on Instagram, now's the time for us to become friends. Please go to Instagram and find me at procrastination coach. Send me a DM and let me know what you're thinking, what you're struggling with, what you need help with, what you're liking about what I'm doing, and what you're connecting with. I would love to hear from you. So that first idea is, again, see yourself as someone who does uncomfortable things and start doing them. The second idea that I have for you is that you should know that when you begin using your courage to start doing those uncomfortable things, you start doing those leaps, the universe will inevitably start to provide assistance for you immediately. I know that sounds like magical thinking or woo woo or whatever you wanna call it.

Dr. Christine Li [00:13:09]:
But in my experience, this is what actually happens. When you open a door, you end up looking at a whole new space or environment or landscape or room or whatever you're trying to open doors into. So you change as soon as you open those doors. And then the universe and everybody around you, that energy that surrounds you, that changes as well. So it's kind of like putting together a puzzle, but that puzzle is the puzzle of your life. And you wanna just put together this puzzle piece by piece with faith that everything is gonna align at some point. You're gonna see the bigger picture more clearly as you go, but you have to keep doing the puzzle even when it gets really frustrating, even when you're trying to put a puzzle together of the clear blue sky and there's no direction and there's only these funny shaped pieces to go with. You can survive even that.

Dr. Christine Li [00:14:07]:
So make that next move, breathe deeply, trust yourself. We all wanna feel safe. We all kind of love our comfort zone because we love comfort, but we also love things like exploration, new information about ourselves, growth, and excitement. And that's all on the other side of your comfort zone as you already know. So the 3rd idea I have for you is you wanna move away from negative language, negativity, negative thinking. Because when you add negativity into an uncomfortable situation, it just makes everything that much more difficult to deal with. The drama comes. The fear comes.

Dr. Christine Li [00:14:52]:
The resistance comes. The procrastination comes. The delay comes. And then everything just becomes a jumbled mess. And then you start telling yourself, you're not good enough. You should quit. That's the habit pattern. We wanna break that habit at the start and just start with a positive mindset.

Dr. Christine Li [00:15:11]:
Instead of trying to plan your way through everything, just take a few steps in the direction that makes you feel like you're getting closer to your goal. Oftentimes, action creates many more rewards and many more real pieces of information for you to go on than any planning and pre problem solving could ever do. The next point I have for you is a big one. I want you to trust in the power of your own vision, not only your ability to see what is in store for you, but also your ability to trust that you are the person that is able to fulfill that vision. It's really quite a mindset trick, I would say. We all have goals. We all have goals that feel somewhat outsized and almost outlandish. But the good news is we really are the drivers of our mission ships, for lack of a better term.

Dr. Christine Li [00:16:15]:
We are the boss and the manager and the CEO of this big vision of our lives, and for some of us, our businesses. So you don't wanna limit your growth and your journey by things like negative thinking, low self esteem, fears, feelings of lack, feelings of unworthiness, anything like that because your vision is gorgeous. Your vision is just perfect for you. Your vision is meant for you. Otherwise, you wouldn't be thinking about it most of the day and in your sleep, and when you're journaling, and when you're talking to your friends, and when you're really, really connected with yourself in a true way. It's that kind of a thing. And you know, I have thought over the past couple of months of going through this period in my life, I have realized that when we feel really afraid or when we think that things are really scary, that oftentimes means that there's a huge lesson that is waiting for you. And it also means that this is an important thing for you to pay attention to.

Dr. Christine Li [00:17:31]:
Right? We wouldn't be so afraid if there wasn't something really big on the other side for us. I kind of liken it to that scene in the Indiana Jones movie, one of the first I think it might be the very first movie of the series where he enters the big cavern and he has to get across and there's no bridge. It feels like that. Right? Life feels like that oftentimes. And we have to be brave, and we have to take a step into the empty cavern because that's when we realize we really do trust ourselves, and that's when all the entertainment and all the fun really starts to happen, just like in the movie, which I love, even though I can't remember the name of the movie. Alright. So now I wanna just put in a special note to everyone who's listening, anyone who's listening, if you're stuck, especially if you've been stuck for a really long time. I want you to know, I see you.

Dr. Christine Li [00:18:28]:
I feel you. I empathize with you, and I have been you at so many different points in my life. I'm gonna start to cry now, including the winter of 2024. I think this may be the first time I've actually almost come to tears on the show. But I think, again, that just indicates that something important is happening. I'm trying to share with you what I think is really a gift, a gift of encouragement because I want you to know that no matter how stuck you feel and no matter how long you've been stuck, that has no relationship to the amount of time it will take you to release yourself from the trap of procrastination and overthinking and delay. You can release yourself right now just because you and I crossed paths today and because you took the time to take care of yourself a little bit today by listening to this show and this episode. So for everyone who's listening, just a shout out to you in general for liking this show and liking what I have to deliver because it indicates that you're a fan of everything personal development and you're interested in having a successful period of growth and having that period be really lifelong.

Dr. Christine Li [00:19:49]:
So for everyone here, I'm gonna offer you a couple of exercises that you can do right away, just because you and I have been talking for so long. And I have a couple of clear exercises that you can take away from this episode. The first is to pinpoint the area that you have been feeling stuck in. Define it. Get really comfortable thinking about it and looking at it from an angle of what needs to be changed. How did I get myself here? What is this period trying to tell me and teach me about myself and where I need to go, how I need to do things from here on out. The second exercise I have for you is to question, what are you afraid is gonna happen? What is keeping you stuck? What is keeping you thinking you're not good enough? Those things are meaningful. Those are beliefs that are probably holding you back and they're likely beliefs that you really want to let go of as soon as you can.

Dr. Christine Li [00:20:50]:
So explore. Do this deep work. It will pay off. I promise. The next exercise I have for you is remind yourself of your big vision, of your end goal, of what you wanna see happen in the world and your world. There's a little world of your world, which might not be so little, but there's also the bigger world at large. When you change for the better, when you change in a way that is good for you, how is that gonna impact other people around you? Always remember that you are not alone. You're connected to so many people and this world.

Dr. Christine Li [00:21:24]:
So remind yourself that your end goal matters because your development and growth matter to everyone. Next exercise, I would love for you to get some form of support for yourself if you're stuck. Maybe you're gonna be the person that supports you. You can support yourself from within. Of course, that can be the most magical type of support. When you have belief in yourself, when you elevate your energy to a point where you can move again and you can get unstuck. And when you can't do that, please do seek out actual support from other people because that will help you to get greater clarity, and it will help you to show up for yourself in a different way. That connection with another person will change your energy automatically.

Dr. Christine Li [00:22:10]:
You can release the negative energy, reinvite in more positive energy, borrow other people's positive energy, and then proceed on your path. And again, you will notice that the universe is checking in at all points, trying to support you, existing to support you and knowing how to support you as well. So I think that's it for this back and forth personal revealing personally revealing episode. This episode where I almost cried, but this episode where I really wanted to share a moment with you in time so that you can think about what you need to do next, what might be stopping you, and what might be the benefits of really just letting yourself move forward again. Hugs to you all. You've got this, and I will see you next week of course on the Make Time for Success podcast. Take care and thanks again for being here.

Dr. Christine Li [00:23:07]:
Thank you for listening to this episode of of the Make Time For Success podcast. If you enjoyed what you heard, you can subscribe to make sure you get notified of upcoming episodes. You can also visit our website, make time for success podcast.com, for past episodes, show notes, and all the resources we mentioned on the show. Feel free to connect with me over on Instagram too. You can find me there under the name procrastination coach. Send me a DM and let me know what your thoughts are about the episodes you've been listening to. And let me know any topics that you might like me to talk about on the show. I'd love to hear all about how you're making time for success.

Dr. Christine Li [00:23:47]:
Talk to you

Dr. Christine Li [00:23:51]:
soon.