Top Reasons You Don't Finish Tasks (And How to Overcome Them)

Dr. Christine Li [00:00:00]:
Welcome back to the Make Time for Success podcast. This is episode number 292. Are you tired of not finishing things that you start? Are you tired of feeling like everything is just one giant open loop hanging around you and bothering you? Well, if that sounds familiar, you're gonna love this episode because I'm gonna share with you a lot of the reasons why we tend not to finish what we start. But I'm also going to share with you how to stick with tasks. No matter how messy things get in the middle of your progress and no matter how overwhelmed you might feel, these are really wonderful tips of how to regulate your mindset, your energy, and your circumstances. Let's go listen to this episode together now. Hi, I'm Dr. Christine Li, and I'm a psychologist and a procrastinator coach.

Dr. Christine Li [00:01:02]:
I've helped thousands of people move past procrastination and overwhelm so they could begin working to their potential. In this podcast, you're going to learn powerful strategies for getting your mind, body, and energy to work together so that you can focus on what's really important and accomplish the goals you want to achieve. When you start living within your full power, you're going to see how being productive can be easy and how you can create success on demand. Welcome to the Make Time for Success podcast. Hello there. I hope you are doing really well today. I have a very important giant topic about how to finish things that you start. And I'm going to address this topic from all angles because I believe, and I've experienced this myself and with my clients, that finishing things oftentimes is not a simple affair.

Dr. Christine Li [00:02:07]:
It's not like you're in your car and you're just cruising to the finish line and everything is going perfectly. Actually, in real life, in real time, things happen. We get bored, we get stressed, we get distracted. And then we drop matters and we abandon ship and we forget where we were and things don't get finished. So let's start this conversation now. The first topic in this subject is the varied reasons why we don't finish things. I've already mentioned a few. We get distracted.

Dr. Christine Li [00:02:46]:
We have so many things on our mind. So many people say that they're overwhelmed, which just means there's more than one thing on your mind, on your to do list, on your plate. And so it makes sense that you start one project and then all of a sudden you hop to another thinking that you're doing yourself a favor. But then what happens is you lose track of what you're doing with the first thing, and then neither project gets finished. Do you relate to this? I certainly do. I'm someone who likes to do that, actually, as a productivity strategy. I like to hop between two or three different projects. But I always try to make sure, as best as I can that I end up finishing everything that I've started.

Dr. Christine Li [00:03:33]:
The other reason why people sometimes fail to finish things is you're not operating alone. Oftentimes you're waiting for other people to get back to you, or you have an entire team of people that you're working with, and the team is moving really slowly, and you just decide, I'm going to not pay attention to this and just leave it hanging. But then that project is hanging in your consciousness as well. It's this open loop. And these open loops tend to pile up when we don't have really good lockdown strategies for really finishing things. So let's try to not have lots of open loops nagging at us across the day. That's not the goal. A third reason why people tend not to finish things is everything that happens after you start a project or a task or chore that means something to you, or even meaningless ones.

Dr. Christine Li [00:04:36]:
What happens in the middle is a bunch of things. So many things happen. We get distracted, we get bored. We get confused about what to do next. Because after you start something, you realize, oh, this is actually a little more complicated than I anticipated, or, oh, it requires different skills than I thought at the beginning when I started. So it gets murkier. And the classic example of how things get messier and murkier in the middle is when we're decluttering. When we're decluttering physical items like our clothes from a particular closet.

Dr. Christine Li [00:05:20]:
Let's say you're feeling motivated. When you start, you set a timer. You've got a goal for the closet refresh. But then what happens when you take a few items out and then all of a sudden there's a shoe there and a hat there and a scarf there, and you get overwhelmed, you get frustrated, you start to lose your momentum, and you start to lose your mood, too. You start to feel like this was not worth the effort. And sometimes the mess gets left there. Other times it gets stuffed back into the closet. And I would say, more rarely do we say, okay, let's just go.

Dr. Christine Li [00:06:04]:
Let's make it to the finish line. Let's see ourselves through to the end. So we've all been there. No judgment. But I just wanted to give you these examples of how it's understandable that we sometimes fail to finish things. It's really this human experience. So again, no judgment. And I think there's a last reason that I want to mention, and that is that if something happens, if you get distracted, if someone needs a favor from you mid project and you pull yourself away from what you were doing, sometimes it gets really hard to just reorient yourself to where you were because you don't even remember what your purpose was or times have changed.

Dr. Christine Li [00:06:55]:
Like it's a month later and you don't even remember who you were a month ago and what you were intending on doing. So again, this is just a short list of some of the reasons why finishing doesn't happen. Now, there are lots of ways to bypass the lack of finishing, right? They are simple, pragmatic techniques that we can use. Many of you probably do this. I do this all the time, probably every single day. We could just write a list of what needs to happen, how it needs to go down, and anything that's on our mind. So a combination of a to do list and a brain dump, if you don't know what a brain dump is, that is just really unburdening your mind of all the different floating around thoughts on a list. And a to do list is more like, okay, I need to get corn, I need to get strawberries, that kind of a list.

Dr. Christine Li [00:07:52]:
So you can combine those two. It's really not a problem. But doing that can oftentimes be a trigger to actually remembering what you're doing, surviving the middle murkiness and messiness, and then finalizing the project, getting to the end so that you can cross things off your physical list. So that's a concrete way of keeping yourself on track. Another concrete way to keep you focused, motivated and energized is to use a timer, kitchen timer, your timer on your phone, a timer on your computer. Just an analog clock will do also. But just to make time your framework for saying, you know What, I've got 10 minutes for this. I'm allowing 10 minutes and this will be done in 10 minutes.

Dr. Christine Li [00:08:46]:
Oftentimes that will work. So you can use the timer technique as well. And then of course, there are things like adding music to keep you in the game. Keep your energy high and you can say to yourself, after four songs are done, I'm going to be done with my decluttering sprint. We'll time it like that. We'll set the stage for success. So you could just say to yourself, I'm not going to work beyond this pre chosen framework. I'm going to do three or four songs.

Dr. Christine Li [00:09:21]:
That's it. I'm not going to stress myself out. So those are some ideas for just pushing through, making not a big deal out of finishing the project and getting yourself through the task. Now, the reason why I wanted to do this episode in the first place is because I do believe, like I mentioned at the beginning of this episode, that there are so many different subtle factors at play when we're taking action of any kind. But when we're trying to finish projects, I think we need certain things in place. And I wanted to teach you what those factors are. So you give yourself a leg up. The next time you try to do anything, you're going to feel so prepared, so knowledgeable, and so confident.

Dr. Christine Li [00:10:13]:
The next time you go, try to do something that will take a stretch of time, take some energy, take some momentum, because these are the subtle factors that will make sure that you succeed. So the first one is that you have to understand that there are many things that we try to do to completion that we're just not used to doing. It's just plain and simple truth that I myself have never, for instance, driven a race car. So if I were to sit in a race car for the first time, I might not finish the laps or the run that is assigned to me just because I'm getting used to the seat. I'm getting used to the fear. I'm getting used to the energy of the racetrack. You get the idea. Very random example, but we are so used to doing the same old same old that if you happen to be taking on a task that is somewhat new to you, please understand that you need to allow yourself some room to get used to doing this.

Dr. Christine Li [00:11:23]:
This is just called practice. It's just called getting experience. But sometimes we forget that we're the newbie and that things are going to feel funny or funky or strange or awkward or any of those things, or maybe even pressured because you're a newbie at the thing. So remember this first principle of getting something finished, that you have to be aware of your beginner status oftentimes, and you have to be patient with yourself so that you can get enough practice rounds or practice runs under your belt so that you can actually cruise through. The second idea that I have to teach you is that whenever something involves a process, it's not a one and done. You do it right there on the spot. You need to be able to be flexible enough to give yourself and allow yourself rest. Taking a break, maybe taking a walk around the block without abandoning the task.

Dr. Christine Li [00:12:24]:
I think what happens to a lot of people is that they feel and understand that they deserve a rest. But then what happens accidentally or on purpose is they drift really far away from the original task. They forget what was going on and it just drifts away. And all of a sudden there's another open loop, there's another project that didn't get to get tied up and finished and put away and crossed off that list. So allow yourself to practice. Maybe a really quick two or three minute, maybe a five minute break, but stay in the room. Maybe don't walk around the block, Just allow yourself to rest and regroup. Maybe close your eyes, take three deep breaths.

Dr. Christine Li [00:13:08]:
It doesn't have to be elaborate to allow you to rest, but the important thing is that you don't abandon the thing that you are trying to accomplish. The third thing that you have to have in place is commitment. That giant, really important concept of commitment. Oftentimes when we're drifting and not finishing things, it's because we haven't really established a rock solid 100% commitment frame of mind to the task, right? If you say to yourself, I'm a hundred percent committed, nothing is going to stop me from doing this. No matter how long it takes, no matter what I feel, no matter who asks for my attention, chances are you're going to finish this thing. So if you find yourself leaving lots of things open and messy and murky, you might want to check in with yourself and be honest with yourself and be real with yourself. Have you been taking your commitment too lightly? Have you even committed to yourself at all? And if the answer is yes to the first question, it's been too light and no, you haven't been committed at all, then you have this giant and wonderful open door opportunity to say, I'm trying on this new identity. I am the committed person.

Dr. Christine Li [00:14:33]:
I really trust myself to follow through with this and then start again and then get yourself to that finish line. The fourth idea that I have for you is if you're in that murky middle and you're wondering, why is this feeling so difficult all of a sudden? Or why am I hating the idea of finishing? Why am I resisting so hard? If that's you, what likely needs to happen is you probably need to strengthen the value of the goal that you're trying to reach. What is important about finishing, right? What do you want to achieve? How do you want to feel? What does it mean to you? What does it mean to other people? Does it have some monetary or other type of value to you? Maybe it has a relationship Value to you. Maybe you promised your partner you were going to take the dry cleaning to the dry cleaning and all of a sudden it's still there on the living room couch. Maybe you want to say to yourself, oh, it really means something to me to have a great, trusting relationship with my partner. I'm getting the dry cleaning over to the store. You get what I mean? Strengthen and elevate the goal that you are trying to achieve without overwhelming yourself. You're just adding this energetic power and attraction to the goal so that you don't stay stuck in the middle with this open loop just calling at you all the time.

Dr. Christine Li [00:15:57]:
The fifth thing that I would like to teach you is very similar to tip number four, where you want to strengthen the end goal. I want you to envision yourself having achieved the end goal. That's the fifth strategy you want to say, I am so relieved when I get my partner's dry cleaning to the store because I know they're going to look sharp because I have this thing off my mind and I know I've fulfilled my commitment to myself and my partner. So there's so many payoffs to finishing things. We all know this. But of course that murky, messy, procrastinating middle also has a draw and is also very familiar to us. So when you have a choice between the do, always lean towards running towards the finish line. It's always good at the finish line.

Dr. Christine Li [00:16:49]:
And the final lesson that I want to teach you about finishing things is it is really wonderful to feel accomplished. So you want to practice that identity of the person who finishes things. You want to just say, that's me. I am the person who finishes everything I start, at least most of the things that I start as best as I can. I love feeling accomplished. I love checking things off my lists. I love not having all this brain and emotional clutter to manage on top of my daily life. It is just freedom, it's freeing, it is enlivening.

Dr. Christine Li [00:17:30]:
It will make you trust yourself more. It will make you proud of yourself. And who doesn't need more of that? We all could use some more healthy doses of self esteem, self worth, self trust, and just feeling good that things are just getting done. Because what else do we out here for? We're actually loving making time to have, be and feel the success that we are. So remember all of these ideas. I will summarize quickly. The first one, you get to practice if you're a newbie. The second one, make sure you rest without abandoning your goal.

Dr. Christine Li [00:18:12]:
Make sure you are committed that's the third strategy. The fourth one is if you're feeling wobbly or like you're going to back out of the project, strengthen the value of your end goal. The fifth idea is to envision yourself already having completed this goal to make sure you actually travel to that finish line and finally get used to seeing yourself and being the accomplished person. Right? It is okay. You are that person. You know that in your heart of hearts. That's where you want to be. That's what you want to feel.

Dr. Christine Li [00:18:50]:
That's the joy you want to live into. So envision all that and get used to that, because that's where you are headed. Exactly. I hope you really enjoyed this mini lesson on finishing things. I would love to know what you're planning on completing. Maybe a task that has been sitting there for a couple months or even a few years. It's all open for you. It really is.

Dr. Christine Li [00:19:13]:
It does not matter how old the task is. It doesn't matter how old you are. Today is a new day. You've got these strategies now to make sure you end up feeling like a success. If you would like to message me about this or other related issues that I talk about on this podcast, feel free to message me over on Instagram. I'm at Procrastination Coach there. I would love to have comments from you, my dear podcast listeners. And if you'd like a free download to remind you of these strategies and to help you map out the next thing you're going to finish, I would love you to go to maketimeforsuccesspodcast.com/finished.

Dr. Christine Li [00:20:02]:
Again, it's maketimeforsuccesspodcast.com/finished. And that is it for me. I am now finished and I'm so glad I did this episode with you. I'll see you next week. Bye. Thank you for listening to this episode of the Make Time for Success podcast. If you enjoyed what you've heard, you can subscribe to make sure you get notified of upcoming episodes. You can also Visit our website maketimeforsuccesspodcast.com for past episodes, show notes, and all the resources we mention on the show.

Dr. Christine Li [00:20:38]:
Feel free to connect with me over on Instagram too. You can find me there under the name Procrastination Coach. Send me a DM and let me know what your thoughts are about the episodes you've been listening to and let me know any topics that you might like me to talk about on the show. I'd love to hear all about how you're making Time for Success. Talk to you soon.