Skip the Self-Sabotage and Overwhelm So You Can Succeed in Business with Kristina Stubblefield

Christine Li  0:00  
Welcome back to the Make Time for Success podcast. This is episode 58. Have you ever felt that you are getting in your own way in your business or career? Or have you ever wondered why you are self sabotaging when your explicit aim was growing your business and impact? Well, today I am talking with one of my closest friends, and one of my newest friends, Kristina Stubblefield. She is a business and marketing expert. And she is now in my mind also a podcasting expert. We were in a podcast development course together, and it was the eve of my podcast launch. And somehow I realized that my first few episodes my launch episodes, were all out of order like you would be starting with interview number five instead of a normal podcast, which would start with episode number one. Kristina and her husband Josh stayed up with me recreating the launch, outline and layout properly line by line until everything was just so and in the right order. And she helped me to do it much more quickly because of her Tech experience and sheer brainpower. Kristina is a technology consultant and business coach. She has combined her IT and marketing experience to help businesses utilize systems and processes for streamline growth and impact. She is the co founder of So In Media Group, which offers a comprehensive list of done for you marketing services. Kristina is also the producer and co host of The Ring The Bling And All The Things podcast for engaged couples, and wedding professionals. She has also developed an online platform for the wedding industry, which encompasses wedding professionals and engaged couples. She is like a business and marketing swiss army knife and she has a heart of gold, you're going to want to meet her because she's just the best. You're likely going to come away with a few aha moments about your own business, and how you might be behaving in your business too. Let's go listen to the episode now.

Hi, I'm Dr. Christine Li and I'm a psychologist and a procrastination coach. I've helped 1000s of people move past procrastination and overwhelm so they could begin working to their potential. In this podcast, you're going to learn a powerful strategies for getting your mind, body and energy to work together so that you can focus on what's really important and accomplish the goals you want to achieve. When you start living within your full power, you're going to see how being productive can be easy, and how you can create success on demand. Welcome to the make time for success podcast.

Hello, my friends today i have a delightful person to introduce you to her name is Kristina Stubblefield. Kristina with a K. And she and I have known each other for maybe two years, she is one of the main forces behind the reality of this podcast. Without her there would be no this. And I wanted to showcase Kristina and her wonderful talents. with you today. She is a business and branding expert. She helps people with small business entrepreneurship and larger size companies as well. I'm gonna say hello to her now and have her do a more extensive introduction for you.

Kristina Stubblefield  3:46  
Christine, thank you so much for having me. Christina has asked me for a little while to come and be a guest. And I'm so excited about it. Everybody seems to label me as an expert, a business or marketing expert. And honestly a little bit about my background, I have an IT background. I went to school from a Microsoft engineer. And but I also have graphic design, and then marketing as my background. And it really puts me in a unique situation when I get out of my own way. And I embrace my expertise, my experience and bring all of that to the table to help clients navigate the waters of running their business, marketing their business growing their business. And I'm so happy that she asked me to talk about this topic, self sabotage, because I've dealt with that as well. But I've been doing this many, many, many years. And I see this show up in so many clients and have so many stories. The best part of the stories is with a little help. They have had excellent outcome. So I hope what we talked about today can guide you a little bit to get out of your own way and to tell everyone about what you do what you're part of, or you're about your business. So Christine, thank you so much for having me.

Christine Li  5:05  
Thank you for being here. And yes, self sabotage is actually a topic that Christina and I share stories with each other about and we also spent a lot of time laughing about ourselves because of this topic. So could you take our listeners on your journey? Can you describe where you started, and some of the lessons that you learned about yourself and your business along the way?

Kristina Stubblefield  5:31  
Sure. So originally, I went to school for graphic designers I mentioned but I got the opportunity to go to school for my MCs, ie my Microsoft engineer, and I was really drawn towards small businesses, I like to call a mom and pop shops. And that's no disrespect, that is a highest level of respect. And in my book, anyone that's in business hats off to you, because it's every day, it can be a rollercoaster ride. And here's what I found. When I went in to help these small businesses set up a computer set up a couple computers, I noticed they didn't have business cards, they didn't have postcards, brochures, some of them didn't even have signage on their door. And in talking with them, I quickly found out they weren't marketing experts, they didn't know anything about marketing. They knew the lane of business they were in. And anything outside that comfort zone, they didn't know how to navigate at all. And I really felt myself saying, Oh, I went to school for graphic design here, I'll do you up some business cards. But more importantly, they didn't talk about themselves, it is taking me 1000s and 1000s of dollars and many years to learn. If you don't talk about it, if you don't share with one person, 10 people, however, many people can't automatically know about you and your business. Although that sounds very simple. There's so much to it. And self sabotage creeps in quickly. For all of us, I find it even with the most experienced coaches, and course creators, that this is something that they've continually work on. And that's really how it brought me to this journey of our business with my husband of having a marketing company. And a lot of times I will say with people, we work with small businesses, we have a few clients, I constantly have made it sound like for small, when in all honesty, we've I've been doing marketing and advertising for many years, I believe here I'll share this tip with you. I designed websites back in the AOL community. Now, that's taking you way back. But that's the truth. So I've lived through many a digital ages. And so in media group, that business that we have, yes, we've celebrated 10 years. But what I should be saying is, we've celebrated 10 years as a small business, we have hundreds of clients. But where self sabotage creeps in is Do I really want people to know how many people we work with? Do I want them to know how long we've been doing this, and I shied away from talking about my experience. And the more people that find out that I have IT and marketing I bring to the table what it may take three, four or five companies to bring to and where that stems from is self sabotage, questioning myself, questioning my authority, questioning what I've worked on. And it's so important for me now with Christine's help to share with everybody. I struggle with this. And what I found is it's going to be a constant work in progress. If there was a magic one, we would solve more things than just self sabotage. But I've really found out the more I share with people, the more they open up, and they realize they're doing this to themselves. And self sabotage isn't just keeping you from talking about your business. It could keep you from marketing your business, it can keep you from bringing in leads or sales or growing your business. And I think that's why we need to talk more about this topic.

Christine Li  9:14  
Yes, thank you for that beautiful description of how you realize this was such a potent area to address. Could you give us your thoughts about why this happens when we're all in the marketplace to help customers and to generate income? Why would we go to such great lengths to do that to try to set up a business? And then go ahead and do things like not show up not talk about ourselves not promote our products? Well, I

Kristina Stubblefield  9:47  
think for me, I've chased this for a long time. Am I really an expert? Do I really know everything there is to know about social media who could know everything there is to know about social media, let's be honest. It changes two or three times it's I'm constantly questioning, possibly even your worth, in business and personal. And I think it's a combination of needing to hear it from different people needing to hear what I needed to work on, needing to hear other people with the same or similar stories. And then seeing the outcome, seeing they put themselves out there, they didn't really have everything together, they just showed up. When you see the results, you get closer to taking the steps. Okay, well, what if I just take a baby step towards this? And I think those small baby steps can end up into bigger steps. Christine, I have some people come to me that question even Are they able to start a business? Those answers don't lie in me. A lot of times, it is just talking through? What does that look like to you? And sometimes I don't I dislike some of those very open ended questions, because I feel like you never really get to an answer. But my point in that is, what does that person envision in their business, because what they envision, we can backtrack, set up the systems and processes to help eliminate self sabotage, overwhelm, all those things that can get the best of so especially self employed, or entrepreneurs who do it themselves, we can help navigate that path. Because it feels like when you have a person kind of walking that path with you, you have someone to bounce ideas off of you have somebody to kind of guide you. And when some people come to me and I have some people just recently, excellent business idea, both worked other jobs. And they just wondered, Is this something that could be a business? Well, if you need me to tell you anything is worth having a business? It's what is going to take to get it there. But look at what everyone is selling online. I've recently seen some things that I think, wow, they have made a large business from this very small idea. The possibilities are endless. But these companies question not do they have the technology? Not? Do they have the experience? But mentally, emotionally? Can? Should they do this? And I've found that sometimes I'm thinking to myself, Well, I'm not really a therapist, or a counselor. But I've found it comes with a territory, when you start already knowing that you're self sabotaging, or you're questioning what you're doing, starting a new business or making changes or pivoting and evolving in your business. Then you add on well, if I'm going to take more clients on, I don't have a system in place. So now you're into overwhelm, you're going through three and four notepads and things like that. That's where I really feel like I've been able to help people excel, or help guide them in a positive direction. And you can see right now, I'm steering clear of the word succeed. I help people succeed in their business. I question myself in saying that word, Am I worthy to say that word? To be honest with you? I am, I've helped hundreds of businesses over the years. But I'm tingling my hands. And I can just feel I've put that out there. I have the experience to back it up. But it's getting to that comfort level, to share that publicly. Sometimes even with your family and friends just to share that, that you're successful. Successful can mean many things to many people. If you get up every day and you show up in your business, you've achieved something. And that's where I found that I've been able to bring my marketing and technology together to help people with the overwhelm things where they can focus more on showing up for their business or working on those small self sabotage items. Because in all honesty, a lot of times it's within ourselves and Christine, we've talked about this, that we're either holding ourselves back or preventing ourselves from growing further because of this or because of that. Those become excuses that are lifelines to us not sharing with the world or on community.

Christine Li  14:42  
I think this is really deep Christy. This may be deeper than we were expecting but it is no surprise to me. Christina works wonders with her clients and her colleague friends and has just such heart for her work. You can tell I Dear listener, I want to ask you now Christina, could you share maybe one story from your personal business journey, which involves self sabotage? And then one story about working with clients where you could see plain as day that they were getting in their own way?

Kristina Stubblefield  15:18  
How long do you want to go for?

Christine Li  15:20  
Oh, we have all the time in the world.

Kristina Stubblefield  15:22  
I work with a lot of wedding professionals. So let me start there. So in the wedding industry, wedding professionals or vendors tend to be very busy in their business. It used to be they were busy Friday, Saturday, Sunday, now things have shifted to where they could possibly be busy throughout the entire week. What I have recently seen, I could narrow down to one customer, but honestly, I've seen this with four or five clients recently that are wedding professionals. They are using as an excuse that now they're not just doing weddings, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, now they're doing Thursday and Wednesday, weddings. And it takes me just a little bit in talking to them. Okay, what do you use to post out social media? How do you schedule that? How often do you update your website? Do you send email newsletters out when I start asking these questions? And the answer is no, no, no, no, I start to realize it's not necessarily time. Now, I'm not here to take anything away from wedding professionals, they are very hard working. But you can quickly use that as an excuse to not work on your business. Because you're working in your business, your client work takes precedence over your own business. And in working with these four or five clients that quickly come to mind over the last year, I am guilty of this as well. And this happens a lot for me. I was using the excuse of client work be important than my own business, they have to come first. And what I started to have conversations with these clients about was your business deserves for you to show up. Your business deserves to be treated like it's one of your clients. And it's kind of like this aha moment. Maybe they kind of knew that maybe somebody had kind of mentioned that to them. But it seems to come from a different place when it comes to somebody that is when it comes to someone like me, who says to them, sure you can spend $500 a month on Facebook and Instagram ads, absolutely. But I would rather not waste your money. I would rather you have a system or processes in place. So that when you do have success with these ads, that campaigns that you want to run, that you're not losing out on money, because you can't keep up with the leads that are coming in. And it's helping them find balance between them needing leads right now, and not getting overwhelmed, because they don't have a system or process in place. And I have found that this is very beneficial. Number one, because what do you mean, you don't want to take my money, it's not that I want you to be my client for a long time. I want to work with you continuously. As you grow, I grow. As I mentioned, most of the time, I have a takeaway from every client I work with, that I can implement in my own business. And what that does is gains the respect that I'm just not trying to collect money from them. I'm really trying to help them work on a deeper issue. Because I know deep down, they're self sabotaging. They're not doing their own Facebook and Instagram lives, I'd love to be each of my clients. But guess what, when I show up on video, I'm myself, I can only do so much in marketing for a client, I could do a lot. But with the way social media has changed, you have to show up for your own business, seeing Christina, on your Facebook or Instagram. They're not gonna walk in the door and work with Christina, they're gonna walk in the door and work with whoever should be on camera showing up for that business. And just with those wedding professionals I mentioned, I found I'm using my own clients as an excuse not to do my own Instagram lives or Facebook Lives. Because I'm saying that these clients, this client work is more important. The other thing I can share with you, I think I mentioned this to you the other day when we were talking, I had a client who had 25 steps 25 steps when a lead came in from start to finish. If they closed out that client it was 25 steps. Now, I don't know about your listeners. But if you had to say you have to 25 steps that's that's a lot What I found is they weren't using technology to their benefit. Technology can be like an extension of a person. I don't even like saying an assistant or a VA, it's not like that. It can be an assistant in your business. They weren't even using automated billing, follow up invoices of reminders, they were mailing out a contract and waiting for a paper check with a signed contract to come back in. Now, we could go on and on about their holding a date with no deposit. I mean, we could go on and on about that, what I did was I helped them get that down to 10 steps now. But let me add in, they kind of got to a point where, yes, they would work a lead when it came in. But it didn't take priority because they're facing 25 steps that was manual. So when I met with them, it was a group when I met with them, I could just sit well, now when this person does this, now I got to do five things. And I've got to do, you could just feel the negativity surrounding those. So when I was able to take them down to 10 steps, it's almost like this renewed energy or excitement. In also that had a website, we redid their website. And of course, we made digital forms and inquiries part of that, and automated what we could in that process. And what I mean by this to bring the story up is he can, it can make a light at the end of a tunnel appear for your own business, just to look inside of what small tweaks or changes can you make, it can give you a renewed energy to put yourself out there, it can also help take away some of the excuses you can use. All of this I'm mentioning is self sabotage. Because you've invested in yourself, you've invested in your business. And now you're making it easier for people to work with you or buy your services or products. It doesn't completely usually get you through self sabotage, but it can help aid in it. And by no means am I the end all be all of all things. But a lot of times I can help say, this is an issue, you probably really need to work with a specialized coach, because you're missing growing your business, you're missing opportunities left and right. Because I can only chip away at this. And I've done that with some clients, who I'm very fortunate and thankful to have worked with them. But to see them blossom into what they become. And that I could be part of that. That's what excites me is being a part of something bigger than myself in I have stories for days, Christine, but even in marketing, even in redoing a website for someone you can figure out, I did. Oh, I don't want my address on there. That's a bad example. I don't want my phone number. I don't want them to call me. Well, can you do everything by email? No, they can send me their information. And I'll call them. I stopped right there. Why don't you want them to call you? Well, what if I'm on the spot? They start questioning? What if I can't answer their questions? What if I don't really know, your yourself, you do this for a reason. You know, just those small little things can start to reveal self sabotage. And it is it gets very deep.

Christine Li  23:29  
Thank you for the stories. I love your stories. I love being a part of your universe of help and concern and brilliance. And I think what I've learned from listening on this episode is that this is kind of a system of little things. And we can all do ourselves a favor, whether it's in our business or in our life, to identify what are the small things that are standing in for ourselves doubt, that are symptoms of our self doubt, that are literally getting in our way, like having a 25 step system. Instead of using just 10 With the help of automation, that it is worth every minute of our time to relieve ourselves of any of those blocks so that we can remove the overwhelm and we can release the natural energy that we have. For the work that we do. We no longer have to be saddled with the extra work of feeling badly about ourselves when we're really trying to bring things to the world.

Kristina Stubblefield  24:38  
Sometimes people think they're going to be judged because they haven't updated their website in five years, seven years, 10 years.

And I've had people wait like they'll come to me and say I wanted to call you two years ago but now I really need it for my business and I did have a client recently, that I redid their website, I don't know, probably four or five years ago. And I had a very detailed marketing conversation with them and talked about their branding, I talked about their presence on the Internet in general, not just social media, that they didn't really come up. They didn't have any competition, so to speak, in the local area. So it wasn't a huge deal for them at the time. And they reached out to me recently, and I met with them. And they were so down on themselves, like 10 minutes into the conversation, like, I just felt it was heavy. I mean, I'm in the technology and marketing realm. I just felt this overwhelming negative thoughts. Because every time they would say something I should have, I don't know why I just didn't reach out sooner. And here's what I said, I stopped the conversation. I said, Listen, just for a second. Let's treat this as a counseling session. I said, Let's clear the air. First of all, we cannot do anything about the past should have coulda woulda, we could all say it, we're we've all done something like that. You're here now, you're asking for help. Your business is important to you. You're asking for direction, what should you do? What's most important? That's where I'm going to help. We're going to figure this out. And then she's like, I know, but I probably need to do 20 different things. Don't think about it. Let's figure out what do you need to do. And with all my clients, I put together a list of order of importance. These are the 10 things that need to be done in your business. This is the order of importance they need to be done. This is approximately what it cost. Now, where do we start? Can we do one? Can we do the first three things we do the first five things? You know, a lot of clients come to me don't have open ended budgets. I've worked with some that didn't even know they have marketing budgets. That's okay. You have to start somewhere. But don't the whole point of me saying this, don't hesitate to ask for help. If you are not proud of your website and ready to shout it from the rooftops, your website is your foundation. That is where I try to tell people do not let sabotage self sabotage creep in. Because you don't know what opportunities, what possibilities, what potential you could be missing out of because now with the digital age we're in, no matter who you are or what business you're in. A lot of people are checking out your website, Googling you, before they ever pick up the phone, send an email, send a DM, they're doing their research. And when I've said that to people, they're like, oh, I don't want to tell people about my website, I usually tell them to go to my Instagram. Well, that's good that you have an Instagram. But don't let just because you're hesitant about asking for help, or you think you're going to be judged. Or that's not how I conduct business. I'm not going to say that there's people that are out there that aren't like oh, well, you should have updated your website five years ago, it is no good to tell somebody that it only brings them down further. And so to me, I even find self sabotage for marketing clients that I work with, in reaching out and asking for help. Saying, I don't understand Instagram reels, should I tick tock Should I not tick tock just having a frank conversation can be the most meaningful to someone. And Christine, we've done this. We've even done this with other people that's in the same groups we are. And I am here to tell you, the colleagues, the people that you work with that you're in groups with, I so value, their feedback, the time they spend with me, because you know what, a lot of times I found out, they're in the same boat. We got both oars, we got a motor on our boat. We're not in rough waters. We're just scared to use what we have. Sometimes you need help in using those. But there's so many tools out there to help you in business. I try to tell people let technology be your friend. I love technology. I thrive in it. Most people, they say it makes their stomach hurt. They feel nauseous. And some people that I'm lucky enough to have conversations with. Let me take that off your plate. You know, let let me see if there's not solutions out there that can help you. Because then what they'll do, they'll focus on the other areas why they don't want to show up on social media, why they don't tell everyone about what they do. They can focus their energy on that core issue. And I can help them along the way or guide them to the right coach that's out there, or consultants. Every business deserves a chance at success. They every business deserves success. People cannot support your business, your family, your friends, your community, the whole nation, the whole country, the whole world cannot support your business, they can't buy products, they can't use your services, they can't listen to your podcast. They can't follow you on social media, if you don't give them the opportunity, and I am so guilty of this, I feel so much better talking about it. I feel like I'm in a therapy session. And the more I talk, the more I'm like, I cannot believe I just said that publicly, but I did. I am who I am. I love making clients feel more like friends and family. And everyone deserves to know about your business, your organization, nonprofit, it doesn't matter. Everyone deserves to know about it.

Christine Li  30:54  
Thank you again, Christina. This is a therapy session, by the way for me as well. And I think you're much more of a therapist than you realize.

Kristina Stubblefield  31:04  
You're trying to add titles to my name, there you go. Again,

Christine Li  31:07  
you've got several, thank you so much for taking care of us and for encouraging our budding entrepreneurs are people who are in business are people who are just needing to get out of their own way to get out of their own way. And to introduce yourself to my lovely audience, please tell everyone here, how to stay in touch with you and where we can reach you.

Kristina Stubblefield  31:34  
Absolutely. So you can find me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, Kristina Stubblefield, or you can visit my website, KristinaStubblefield.com, I have a feeling that Christine is going to have a link in the show notes said well probably will not know how to spell my name. And that's okay. But I will leave you with one tip that I'm trying to embrace. From here on out. And Christine, we talked about this the other day, messy action that has stuck in my brain. I'm gonna stop trying to be a perfectionist, because people out there are waiting to hear what I have to say to share my knowledge. And I can't help them if I constantly hold back because I don't think it's perfected enough. So messy Action. Action is better than no action.

Christine Li  32:26  
Beautiful. You know, I agree with you. I'm oftentimes very messy in my action. But I also appreciate the rewards that come when I take action. So thank you so much for coming on sharing your warmth, your beautiful stories in a beautiful self. With everyone here and with me. My dear listeners, I will see you next week. If you have a few minutes, I would love it. If you could leave the make time for success podcast, a five star review wherever you listen. And I would appreciate that so much because we do want to get the word out. We want to make this podcast grow. Thank you so much, Kristina. We'll see you next week.

Kristina Stubblefield  33:04  
Thank you so much for having me. You're a true blessing and your friendship means the world to me. So thank you very much for having me on.

Christine Li  33:12  
Thank you. I love you too. Thank you for listening to this episode of the Make Time for Success podcast. If you enjoyed what you heard, you can subscribe to make sure you get notified of upcoming episodes. You can also visit our website maketimeforsuccesspodcast.com for past episodes, show notes and all the resources we mentioned on the show. Feel free to connect with me over on Instagram too. You can find me there under the name procrastination coach. Send me a DM and let me know what your thoughts are about the episodes you've been listening to. And let me know any topics that you might like me to talk about on the show. I'd love to hear all about how you're making time for success. Talk to you soon.

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