The Emotional Roots of Clutter: Understanding and Overcoming Resistance with Dr. Stacy Scott

Dr. Christine Li [00:00:00]:
Welcome back to the Make Time for Success podcast. This is episode number 228. If you've ever felt overwhelmed by your clutter or if you've ever struggled with your resistance to getting started on your clutter, this episode is gonna contain so much great information and inspiration for you. My special guest today is doctor Stacy Scott. She is an internationally known trauma informed feng shui practitioner, doctor of occupational therapy, and decluttering expert. She has dedicated her career to helping others heal through their homes. She shares with us in this episode her personal journey of overcoming chaos and clutter, and she now empowers her clients to create sanctuaries that reflect their highest potential. Stacy's unique approach integrates nervous system healing, internal family systems, and feng shui mysticism, and she has helped thousands of people to transform their lives.

Dr. Christine Li [00:01:08]:
I totally enjoyed getting to know Stacy in this interview. I agree with everything that she said and really just felt she is such a leader in this space. So let's go listen to her wisdom together

Stacy Scott [00:01:28]:
now.

Dr. Christine Li [00:01:28]:
Hi. I'm doctor Christine Lee, and I'm a psychologist and a procrastination coach. I've helped thousands of people move past procrastination and overwhelm so they could begin working to their potential. In this podcast, you're going to learn powerful strategies for getting your mind, body, and energy to work together so that you can focus on what's really important and accomplish the goals you want to achieve. When you start living within your full power, you're going to see how being productive can be easy and how you can create success on demand. Welcome to the make time for success podcast. Hi, everyone. I am so excited to introduce you to my new colleague and friend, Stacy Scott.

Dr. Christine Li [00:02:20]:
I saw her on TikTok of all places, and she kept coming up on my feed. And I kept loving her style of presentation, her earnestness, her honesty, and the fact that she was talking about clutter, which is one of my favorite topics to focus on with people and to be curious about. So welcome to the show, Stacy.

Stacy Scott [00:02:46]:
Yes. Thank you for having me. This is obviously my favorite topic.

Dr. Christine Li [00:02:51]:
So Stacy is an occupational therapist, feng shui expert, and decluttering expert, and I am so excited and looking forward to just hearing how a person gets to be all these things and how a person like Stacy gets to use all these different types of skills in helping people with their decluttering focus and their projects and getting over the hump of starting with decluttering because that seems to be the biggest issue for people. Go ahead.

Stacy Scott [00:03:22]:
Yeah. I mean, right off that bat, that is honestly what I hear the most often as well. I'm always kind of canvassing my community and saying, okay, you guys, you tell me what is the hardest thing for you guys. And it's always kind of that start. How do I get started? But what I find happens is people will jump immediately to the kind of the end of the equation of the, well, where is it supposed to go? How do I actually start to go through the papers or, oh, I've had these clothes forever and they don't fit. Help me get rid of them. And at least in my world, especially this is being driven by my background as an occupational therapist, which I will certainly get to. But in my world, those questions are actually the end of the road.

Stacy Scott [00:04:04]:
The physical act of decluttering is actually the very end of the road. So I like to start by bringing people all the way back to the, to their childhood, to their young adulthood. Because in my world, how I see it, when we have difficulty and resistance to the physical act of decluttering, we are kind of operating in our minds and our bodies or subconscious is there is some sort of resistive subconscious pattern, a sabotaging behavior, if you will, that's actually producing that physical resistance you feel in your body. So you might be feeling anxiety, fear, just general grumpiness. You know, everybody's gonna feel something a little different, but what that's actually coming from is something in your mind that's telling you decluttering either that particular object, decluttering that area of your home or decluttering in general is unsafe for you and it's not something you are allowed to have. And so that's really where I start with people that everything in our subconscious minds that we believe about ourselves is coming out in our spaces, which can be kind of a huge idea and a painful one. But then I always follow it up with, well, I went through all of this too, so I'm here to guide you and help you.

Dr. Christine Li [00:05:25]:
I love that. Could you tell us a little bit about your own journey, and then we'll circle back with what you just said about tying things into people's childhood histories? That is a beautiful technique. I'm just curious how you found that to be the path.

Stacy Scott [00:05:45]:
Yeah. So, I mean, I grew up in a home that was not only cluttered, but it was also abusive. So we're talking, you know, lot of emotional abuse, lots of screaming. But then also there was like inches and inches of dust on the floor and nothing ever got moved. So there was no sense of movement, of flow, of breath. I mean, and these were things I was searching for as a kid. I am obsessed with the home. If anybody's into astrology, I have ton of cancer energy.

Stacy Scott [00:06:14]:
So I am just somebody who has always been obsessed with the home. And for me growing up, home felt like another abuser because I didn't feel safe. So I developed these very kind of, sabotaging patterns because I had no control, not only of my space, but of my life as a child. So I found as a young adult, I went in the exact opposite direction of what I had been taught as a child, that you you never get rid of anything. There was such a a pervasive lack mentality in that home. And then when I went to college, I went the exact opposite direction. The pendulum swung very, very violently in the other direction, and I became an ultra minimalist. I mean, I was throwing out my own baby photos.

Stacy Scott [00:06:55]:
Like, I just I was running away from any sense of emotion through my possessions. I was projecting onto my possessions this, like, no, no, no. I can't deal with that, so I'm just gonna push it away. But what happened was society really, you know, gave me lots of praise, let's say, for being a minimalist. And so it really was a pattern that was not helpful to me, but it lived in my body for a very long time until I became an occupational therapist and I was working in people's homes. And I saw how people were being I was working for Habitat for Humanity and I was actually being sent into true hoarding situations because we throw around that world word. Everybody's like, oh, I'm such a hoarder. And I'm like, but you've never actually seen true hoarding.

Stacy Scott [00:07:42]:
I have. And there's always a pervasive and strong history of not just trauma, but often sexual trauma. So I got very, very angry at the way we discuss possessions and clutter in our society because it's always has this sense of, well, it's your fault. What you know, you should be ashamed of how you live. And we feel like it's okay to shame people when really I saw the truth of, well, this is just trauma dressed up in another suit. You wouldn't say that to somebody who was addicted to drugs. This is just your fault. Why can't you just pull yourself up by your bootstraps? And so I actually, in a personal level, got very, very, very burnt out from being an occupational therapist, from working in an insurance based model.

Stacy Scott [00:08:27]:
And so I left and I found Feng Shui and it became the answer to all of the questions I had been asking myself my entire life about energy and why I feel the energy of home so pervasively. And then I kinda just started putting the pieces together for myself. I was healing myself through my home using Feng Shui, and then I was healing myself by realigning my relationship to my possessions. And all of a sudden everything just opened up. My life just got unbelievably good. I was actually just having this amazing moment this morning with my son. I'm just was looking around and just amazed at how much growth and how happy I am now. And I have everything I ever wanted.

Stacy Scott [00:09:08]:
And I just realized how many other people really needed to have this and just to be able to diminish the shame that they feel because I know it's not shame. I know it's trauma. So that is a very long winded story told as as quickly as I could.

Dr. Christine Li [00:09:21]:
That was beautifully told. Thank you for sharing Mhmm. The story. As I'm seeing you across the screen, because we're new to each other, although I do see you on TikTok, I see a lot of flow. I see movement flow. I see energetic flow. Mhmm. And it was that always how you were? You were always kind of like an like, a flowy kind of person, maybe stuck in a in a stagnant home?

Stacy Scott [00:09:49]:
You know, I think that's a really good question. I've always enjoyed talking to people. I love getting to know people on this this deeper level. I don't think this was always me. I was very much somebody who had to control myself. I like to joke that my my entire doctorate in occupational therapy was a trauma response because I was somebody who was living for the accolades. That was the only my sense of self worth came from grades. It came from how thin I could be.

Stacy Scott [00:10:18]:
You know? It came from what my home looked like, and all of this was creating a very shaky foundation for self love and self worth. So when I really kind of tore all that away

Dr. Christine Li [00:10:29]:
Mhmm.

Stacy Scott [00:10:30]:
It was challenging. And this is where I step in, and I wish I had a me, you know, seven or eight years ago before this was so pervasive on the Internet. So, yeah, I I had to really tear all that away and build myself back up. So I think now I I I can portray so much flow because my home supports me in that flow. I was just looking at some of the photos I have on my bookshelf, and I've traveled the world, and that was something I always wanted to do. And I was like, oh my god. I'm, like, surrounded by by my dreams and dreams that have been completed, and and that's what I want for other people.

Dr. Christine Li [00:11:03]:
I love that. As you were talking about being the ultra minimalist and then maybe healing from there

Stacy Scott [00:11:11]:
Yeah.

Dr. Christine Li [00:11:12]:
I imagined that you started bringing stuff in. Is that what happened? How do

Stacy Scott [00:11:16]:
you mean bringing stuff in? Bringing maybe things that did make you feel safe. So it

Dr. Christine Li [00:11:22]:
wasn't that possessions were the things that were unsafe. It was just that you were gonna make your home safe.

Stacy Scott [00:11:28]:
You know, so I think, really, the the way I work is I work in both realms. I work in the mind and the body, but also the home. So I think at least for me, it was happening simultaneously without me really knowing about it. So of course I was learning feng shui and then I was like, wow, my home is nothing but white and gray, which in feng shui is metal energy. And we need metal energy. We want metal energy. That's very like Joan of Arc vibes that allows us to use our voice. But when you have too much of it, it can create a lot of anxiety.

Stacy Scott [00:12:00]:
You know, you can't really rest. And so as I was kind of refined tuning my home, I was also kind of pulling these emotions out of my body using inner child healing. So, you know, I was doing it kind of both at the same time. And that's kind of the approach now I use with clients as we climb the mountain together, doing a little bit of both in in the mind and body, doing a little bit in the home, and then building from there.

Dr. Christine Li [00:12:23]:
Okay. Beautiful. And I'm so happy to hear that you had this great multilayered journey of healing.

Stacy Scott [00:12:33]:
Mhmm.

Dr. Christine Li [00:12:33]:
Do you have a consistent strategy or a a signature strategy, I should say, with your clients who come in? Because it seems like everyone's so radically different in some way. Like, we're all the same, but we're all radically different as well. How do you approach the person who comes to you, and what is your first line of investigation?

Stacy Scott [00:12:59]:
So I can tell you, it's it's what's funny is everybody who comes to me, going back to what I was saying before, is they all want to start with the, well, how do I do it? They want the steps. The that traditional decluttering models have sold them the five easy steps. Well, where does the papers go? What do I do with the clothes? And I tell them, push all that away. Those are not the questions to be asking right now. What we're going to do first is go into your body and speak to the versions of you. This is just me going into inner child healing. The we're going to speak to the versions of you that are in there that are actually the ones holding onto these possessions because it's making them feel safe. When we have a lot of possessions around us, oftentimes I find that we are keeping all of that because it's giving us an externalized sense of control and safety that we don't have within us.

Stacy Scott [00:13:52]:
So although everybody's coming to me with very different backgrounds, that's what we're actually working on releasing is that building up a sense of safety in the body so they can release that externalized sense of control that's being projected onto the home. And then usually within a few sessions, I get lovely messages of I woke up and I decluttered today, or I removed 32 pounds of clothes from my floor. True story. Or I went and decluttered my garage that I haven't touched in seven years. Also a true story. So even though people are coming from all these different backgrounds and even all over the world, I have people all over the world, I know what their starting point really is for everybody. And once we start to release that, all those questions of, well, where does it go? What do I do with it? It's all gone. But I've had this shirt since I was seven.

Stacy Scott [00:14:43]:
It's not about that. It's about recalibrating your relationship to yourself first and then that relationship to possessions really recalibrates. So then you just automatically know, okay. Well, I'm gonna keep this shirt, but I'm gonna I'm gonna donate that one. Or, you know, this can go, but that can stay, if if I'm making sense. Mhmm.

Dr. Christine Li [00:15:05]:
I'm thinking now about a different direction in terms of the safety concept. Right? You're you're asking people to find the safety from within. Right? And then making decisions about the external. So often these days, people are mentioning a lack of safety about the external world, politically, maybe economically, socially. How do you help people to feel like, you know, it's actually safe to be trusting in these kinds of times? That may be just a broader question, but it comes to mind because we are talking about the general topic of safety and how do you get there on your own, you know, as an individual?

Stacy Scott [00:15:52]:
Well, I think that's a beautiful question. So there's a couple of things. It's so funny you mentioned that. I actually have a new workshop coming out that's literally about that. So a couple of answers that will all jive together at the end. First things first is I would tell anybody, you know, even if you've done decades of personal development to growth, or if you're brand new to this topic, get in touch with your experience of fear. How do you feel fear in your body? Because you cannot move past that experience of fear and do something about it no matter what it is that you actually decide to do, unless you are aware that you are experiencing it. So we have to get deeper in touch with, well, what are some of the thoughts that I often think when I'm in fear? Where do I go to? Who do I start blaming? What are some of the behaviors I start doing? And then what is the emotion that I feel or the, the sensations that I feel in my body? Do I feel it in my neck? Do I feel hot? Does my pinky toes start to throb? Like, what is it? So that you can have greater awareness in the moment that you are experiencing fear.

Stacy Scott [00:16:57]:
Because once you have that, that's when the gates can open and you can do something about it. For me, I like to do ETF tapping. People like to do somatic dance. They like to journal. They like to screen. They like to walk in nature. Doesn't matter. You have to have the awareness that you are even in a fear response and that's what your body's experiencing.

Stacy Scott [00:17:18]:
So, sorry. Then the second side of that answer is I am noticing a I've been in the home space now over a decade. So I was working for Habitat for Humanity going into people's homes. I've been in thousands of homes. The way we relate to home as an idea is changing. We have been sold here in America, in The States, that you're supposed to get a thirty year mortgage. You buy one home, you stay there till you die. Right? You're supposed to go and live where all the jobs are.

Stacy Scott [00:17:49]:
All of that is changing with technology, with home prices, with the way things are moving and shaking in our political realms as well. So what I'm noticing is these this this different definitions of what home means and how we can live is creating more opportunities for people, whether that's van life or you wanna live abroad or maybe even climate change is changing whether or not you can live in Florida or Texas or Arizona. So we're we're starting to see a different kind of opportunity arise for people where you don't have to stay with that thirty year mortgage and work at this one geographic location forever. So I know that's kind of a long winded answer, but both are really happening in real time right now.

Dr. Christine Li [00:18:34]:
I love that response because it provides a positive view on what people can do when they're working on these issues and decisions and figuring out where they feel their best. Because Yeah. And I think that's all healing. Right? It's just kind of helping people to not feel afraid all the time and also to help people feel comfortable and well where they are, no matter where they are. So we love that response.

Stacy Scott [00:19:04]:
Yeah. I I mean, I think for so long, we grow up in a culture here in The States where from the day we're born, we're not told we have power. We're told that somebody else external to us always has the answer. Parents, teachers, religious figures, politicians. And so now most of what I see on the internet is a lot of finger pointing. It's a lot of, well, you did this, but you did that. You are wrong. No, you are wrong.

Stacy Scott [00:19:35]:
And I think we're we're missing the point a little bit that all of that kind of doesn't matter anymore. What matters is what we decide to do with our lives and the actions that we take because we are not powerless. You are not helpless. And that's that's hard, I think, for an American audience to really, not just intellectually understand, but to really embody. And I like to go back to your point about the healing space, that is most of healing, is taking back your power from these various entities' beliefs and or memories that are making you believe that you're less than, that you're helpless, that you can't have the job, you can't have the money, you can't have the life you want to live. And I just feel like my job for a lot of all intensive purposes is kind of holding the space of like, no. Look. I had it all on paper.

Stacy Scott [00:20:26]:
I have the 6 figure perfect job, perfect life, and I was dying on the inside. And I threw it all away and built myself back up into something I'm very proud of now. So there's always opportunity to heal, grow, and change.

Dr. Christine Li [00:20:44]:
And that is an American concept. Right? As we're as we're feeling all the stress sometimes, there is a very American bent on on freedom and freedom and individualism, which can can really serve us well too.

Stacy Scott [00:21:03]:
Yeah. I I think what's funny too, we're we're starting to really see more chatter. Obviously, I'm somebody who's on the Internet. I probably spend a little too much time on the Internet. But we're starting to see more chatter, like, the hard questions of, wow, we've really thrown community completely out the window in favor of individualism, and we need individualism. And I feel like we're coming out of the era of, like, the me healing movement, and we're gonna start to enter into an era where more people are in a more healed place where we can start to say, okay, I have something to give now. How do I give? How do I create a community? How do I actually create a sense of safety amongst people now that I feel safe within myself? And I think I feel like that's the era we're moving into, and I'm I'm grateful to see it. I'm very, very thrilled to be here.

Stacy Scott [00:21:53]:
Even though it's messy, it's dirty, it's it's icky, it's not pretty. But through that messiness, we'll find our way.

Dr. Christine Li [00:22:01]:
Well, I see you as someone who is right in there leading the way. So thank you for doing all the work that you've done over your personal life, over your career, over your home life so that you can be the voice of clarity for people who are just a couple steps behind you, which I think is very much a healing community. So

Stacy Scott [00:22:22]:
Thank you. That means a lot to me.

Dr. Christine Li [00:22:25]:
Are there two things that you would tell our audience before we start wrapping up that they should keep in their minds? No matter what stage they are in the healing process, no matter how much or how little clutter they have, what two guiding principles would you want them to hang on to?

Stacy Scott [00:22:44]:
Yeah. That's such a great question. So first things first. It's not your fault. It's not your fault. I want you to pull up out of your mind every time you feel bad about yourself because of what your home looks like. I want you to start to think about all the ways you are shaming yourself internally and keeping that narrative alive in your own mind that you are dirty, you are a hoarder, you can't be wealthy because you don't live in a huge single family home, you can't possibly have the better job because you're you're a renter. All of that is fake.

Stacy Scott [00:23:23]:
It's literally all fake. Now I know your listeners are gonna be like, wait. Why do this chick doesn't know what the f she's talking about? I promise you it's all fake. There are fake beliefs instilled in us through the American culture in which we swim. You can have anything you want and live in any home you choose. Because I've been in thousands of homes, I have seen deeply unhappy people in multimillion dollar homes with fireplaces and wallpaper. I wanted to like lay my cheek on. It was so gorgeous and soft.

Stacy Scott [00:23:59]:
And I saw, I recognize these people for being deeply unhappy. I've also been in homes where I live on the East Coast where we would call it a not so great neighborhood and, you know, and I have been in some of those homes where I didn't wanna leave. But there's, you know, police cars going by. You know, we would not call this a quote unquote good neighborhood. I don't even like that, but there it is. And I didn't wanna leave these homes because they felt so wonderful. The decor had not been updated since the eighties. It wasn't about that.

Stacy Scott [00:24:32]:
The energy in that space was so gorgeous. So everything that you believe that you can't have because you don't have x y z in your home or in your life, it's a lie and I need you to start confronting those lies because you are retelling those lies to yourself again and again and again. It's not your fault that you have possessions. We live in a capitalist society. It's not your fault that you had difficulty decluttering. It's emotional regulation work and you were never taught how to do that. It is not your fault you don't have marble. And that lack of marble in your kitchen is not stopping you from getting the better job.

Stacy Scott [00:25:05]:
You telling yourself the story is. So that's the first thing. You gotta pull all that gunk up. Oh, and then the second thing. Wow. I feel like I just laid a whole anvil on your people.

Dr. Christine Li [00:25:17]:
That's okay. While you're thinking about number two, I wanna add to add and and just reinforce number one because Stacy's calling them lies. I would also say their beliefs. Right? So that you're I mean, both are true. Right? Because you're believing a story that doesn't have to be true. You can leave it out as if it's true, but you definitely have the choice of making it something completely different. So in that way, yeah, it's a lie.

Stacy Scott [00:25:45]:
It feels like truth because that's what our belief system is supporting, so it feels like truth. Yes. Yeah. I mean, there's so many different words for that, limiting belief, what have you. And then I think second is the home for the longest time has been something we really look at as a way to project our success, the size of your home, the cleanliness, the finishing, what you have in your home. And I want people to start rejecting that story a little bit and really thinking a little deeper about forgetting about money, forgetting about I need to work here because I have a job here or I have family here. Forget about all that for just a moment if you can. How do you wish to live? Where do you wish to live? In what way do you wish to live? Because so many of us are gonna start waking up to the fact that we don't actually enjoy the way we're living.

Stacy Scott [00:26:43]:
And I know that can that can kinda really knock you around if you're not ready for it. So start to think in any way you can of how you really want to live in the next five to ten years. Because anything you really want to have is coming, but it can be created. So yeah.

Dr. Christine Li [00:27:04]:
Alright. Let's go. Those are some beautiful tips. Stacy, thank you again for spending time with us and for all the work that you've done, really. It really comes through, and you just grabbed me from the Internet. So thank you for accepting my invitation.

Stacy Scott [00:27:21]:
Thank you for having me.

Dr. Christine Li [00:27:22]:
Here, and just tell us a little bit more about your passion and your mission and your deep and beautiful work. Thank you. We Stacy and I have created a link so that you can stay in touch with Stacy. And you're going to receive a free download from Stacy if you go to maketimeforsuccesspodcast.com/Stacy, which is s t a c y. Again, it's maketimeforsuccesspodcast.com/stacy. Are there are you on Instagram as well? I'm on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube. You can find me under sanctuary with stacy under at all three locations. Terrific.

Dr. Christine Li [00:28:08]:
I advise everyone who's listening who has even an inkling of a connection to what we've been talking about today to jump on those platforms, follow Stacy. Her reels and videos are wonderful. They're packed with honesty. And, just we're both wishing you success, success in your desires, success with your clutter, success with where you wanna be with yourself because, like Stacy says, it's all coming. So thank you. Thank you, Stacy.

Stacy Scott [00:28:40]:
No. Thank you for having me. Appreciate it.

Dr. Christine Li [00:28:43]:
Alright, everyone. I am gonna see you next week on the Make Time for Success podcast. Thank you so much for being a listener here. See you soon. Thank you for listening to this episode of the Make Time for Success podcast. If you enjoyed what you heard, you can subscribe to make sure you get notified of upcoming episodes. You can also visit our website, maketimeforsuccesspodcast.com, for past episodes, show notes, and all the resources we mentioned on the show. Feel free to connect with me over on Instagram too.

Dr. Christine Li [00:29:17]:
You can find me there under the name procrastination coach. Send me a DM and let me know what your thoughts are about the episodes you've been listening to. And let me know any topics that you might like me to talk about on the show. I'd love to hear all about how you're making time for success. Talk to you soon.