Unveiling Purpose: Finding Your WHY, Overcoming Challenges and Empowering Your Voice with Shafonne Myers

Christine Li  0:01  
Welcome back to the Make Time for Success podcast. This is episode 141. If you're feeling like you'd like to develop your voice or improve the visibility you have in your field, or in the world at large, this episode was made just for you. My special guest today is Shafonne Myers and Shafonne is a media mogul and PR and marketing strategist who created the world's only site for plus sized brides. She's also the CEO of a top wedding media company with over 30 wedding blogs where she owns 10 of the publications. She's realized that her true zone of genius is helping creative entrepreneurs to build a brand, get publicity, and make sales online. And indeed, she has helped her clients and business partners close over $10 million in revenue. She's made it her mission to help entrepreneurs create their brand, create authentic content online, and cultivate high level relationships that will help them to go from Best Kept Secret entrepreneur to sought after celebrity CEO, she's definitely a celebrity in her own. Right, you're going to hear her story of how she decided to change the entire wedding industry a while ago, and how the lessons she's learned along the way, continue to help her to be a master of productivity, and a master coach to so many people who love her so much. I love her myself, and I can't wait to introduce you to her. Let's go listen to the episode together now.

Hi, I'm Dr. Christine Li, and I'm a psychologist and a procrastination coach. I've helped 1000s of people move past procrastination and overwhelm so they can begin working to their potential. In this podcast, you're going to learn about powerful strategies for getting your mind, body and energy to work together so that you can focus on what's really important and accomplish the goals you want to achieve. When you start living within your full power, you're going to see how being productive can be easy, and how you can create success on demand. Welcome to the Make Time for Success podcast. 

Hi everyone, I have to share with you that my energy is already a mile high because I'm sitting across the screen from Shafonne Myers, my special guest for today. And her energy is just I think baseline sky high. And I absolutely know how much higher it goes. But I'm really looking forward to getting to know to find more in this interview and having her tell us about her story about what she loves to do. And to have her teach us a few things about being visible showing up as yourself. Develop being personal comfort, I would say even in public, we're going to talk about all the things so welcome, Shafonne, please tell us about yourself.

Shafonne Myers  3:04  
Oh my gosh, that was so exciting. I'm like, Yeah, I'm so excited to talk. Like, it's so funny when we met in person. And it's like, I still feel that energy even through a computer. I can like feel that energy that yeah, so thank you so much for having me. Um, oh, wow, the little bit about me, man. Um, so I started off, as most people do not know, I was actually a science and math teacher. Like I was a science and math high school teacher, and I loved my kids. And then I realized that I was really into weddings and planning events. And even when I was in college, I ran all the social events on campus, I ran that organization. So it's social events and weddings have been in my blood. So then I went into the weddings, I became a wedding planner, I started a wedding blog. And so when I started the wedding blog, I was a plus sized bride. And so I knew that it was this big void of people showing up and seeing plus size brides and especially being a plus size bar, I couldn't see anyone that looked like me. And so I really think that's where a lot of the visibility really started coming in for me and showing up as my true authentic self because I saw that I was struggling because I didn't see anyone who looked like me. I didn't see any brides in magazines that looked like me. I didn't see any brides and publications and we're we just had our 19 year anniversary March of this year. So it's been a hot minute. Congratulations. All thank you even 19 years ago, it was like it was unheard of, for you to see any type of plus size broad, full figured curvy, whatever you want to call anywhere in social or on magazines for weddings. And so kind of getting into it. I realized like there's this big world of people that are not showing up and not showing up because they don't see inspiration. It looks like them. And so we it's just a natural Boyan like a natural born thing that if you don't see something that looks like you anywhere, you're going to shrink back, you're not going to show up, you're not going to be bold and be out there. And so I saw this in the wedding industry. And then I became a member of wedding media company. And it was 30 of us wedding bloggers came together, created a wedding hub, essentially, where all of our publications were in one place. And then about two years ago, I bought it out, I just was like, I'm gonna be the CEO. It kind of dwindled down to only four of us. And they were like, what do we do, I was like, Well, I don't want it to die. So I kind of took it over. And so now in the wedding industry, it's like a media company, and digital marketing agency that I own. And I have 10 publications that I have in it that I own throughout the 25 that are in it. And it has really solidified this love of showing people, what can be the possibility from the couple side, they want to see inspiration that looks like them. So everything is very niche. We have ones that are for like mountainside brides, we have Brooklyn bride, we have elegant and classic brides. But all of these publications, I own, they all focus on making sure that people are seen. And I started realizing, oh, my gosh, this theme is running through all of my life running through all of my businesses. So it was a natural progression to kind of create a PR and marketing and sales firm that helps entrepreneurs show up, be seen stepping into their life, step into where they shine. And so it's kind of crazy how everyone's like this is so random. But when you look at everything, it's not like it's been an underlying tone of visibility showing up being seen helping people be seen. And so that's kind of a little bit about me and how I got to where I am. But it's so random and crazy. People are always like, wow, and I'm like, Yeah, that's me.

Christine Li  6:56  
Okay, I am thinking the only thing that doesn't really fit is the science and math teacher part. But it's okay. Thank you for being the teacher when you were the teacher. And I love that everything does make sense, right? Even though if people don't really see how it connects it really it sounds like a wonderful story and like a huge success story. My first question is, why weddings, I guess, because you said that you were interested in that area even before you yourself. Were abroad, correct?

Shafonne Myers  7:28  
Yes, yes. No, it was because when I was in college, I planned events, and it was so crazy. I like so you know, in college, there's always a board or organization that plans all the social events on campus. And so I ran that board I ran. So I had like 500 people underneath me. And we were running all types of social events, magicians and parties. And I was like, Oh, I like events. I like events. And so it was just a natural transition to kind of go into weddings, and event planning. And even in my PR world, people asked me like, hey, I need to, like climb to be like I need to claim so I can do that. I used to be a wedding planner, and event planner. So that's really where I came from the love of just having parties, and showcasing people. And once again, allowing people to be visible, like vendors. And it was just so crazy how things play out like that.

Christine Li  8:17  
Okay, so not only did you like events, I'm assuming you have a maybe a love of organization or a knack for it, or both. Can you describe that?

Shafonne Myers  8:30  
Oh my gosh, it's so funny, because it really is like, I think it's funny because I left wedding planning, because I am not a design person. Swear for goodness, it is the craziest thing. I will tell you, my husband does all of our interior design. My husband does like I used to like this. And I'm like, I guess it looks okay. So I enjoyed the organizing part, the logistics part of weddings and events, not so much the design. And that's kind of why I left because they started getting like all these big designs and all these floor installations. And I was like, Yeah, I am not a creative person like that. So yes, I definitely love the organizational part of things.

Christine Li  9:09  
Okay. And what, there's always a part in my interviews where I asked people, where were the doubts, where were the feelings if you had any way back then that this may not go as planned that you're in over your head? That Who are you to think this would be a good idea, you know, any stories of those hiccups or those feelings where you felt like there's the I'm not where I need to be to do this. Well, oh

Shafonne Myers  9:41  
my gosh, like I love this question. And I can tell you to like that literally popped into my mind when I first created my wedding blog. So my wedding blog is specifically for plus sized brides. So and it's the only one in the world and so I created in 2011 and when I created it, number one, no one was talking About plus size. Brad's no one. It was like, we were the redheaded stepchildren, we existed. But we was a redheaded stepchildren. And it's like, I had to be comfortable enough in myself, number one as a plus size woman to be able to step forward and talk and inspire plus size women. And that's something that can be so hard. Because the light is shone on you then, like it shines on you people are like, Oh, you're creating this. And then I got a lot of pushback from even plus size brides themselves, being like, I don't want to be featured on your site, because I don't want to be categorized as plus size. And I had to be like, Okay, we all are into the category of being plus sized, curvy, you know, we have all different words. But I had to be comfortable with really stepping forward and being the champion for plus size brides. And that was hard. Because as confident as I am, when you're going against the grain, that confidence can dwindle real quick. You have people that are like, What are you doing? Why are you doing something like this is what we do over here, you typically see this type of bride on the cover, you typically see this type of bride and inspiration. This is what you see, you don't see this. And I was like, no, but we should see everybody like, there are all different sizes and all different like, and it was hard. It was a lot of doubt. Like is this what I'm supposed to be doing? Is this where I'm supposed to be going. And you know what, almost like 1213 years later, it's like, I still get the messages like you changed my life. Like seeing your images, seeing the images that you share, seeing imagery that looks like me, changed my life. So I knew it was just that ego creeping in trying to keep me safe. 100%. So that was the first one. And I think the second time it's more recent, taking over the media company to it's called our society, it's like taking it over. And being the CEO of a company where I own like 10 wedding publications that are very prominent in the wedding industry. Most people don't even know that I own them. Because I just keep a very low profile, like a low key. And then we also have a software that goes with it that I own. And it's like, when I tell people feel like, Oh, crap, you own that. And I'm like, yeah, so doubt crap up. Because it's like, once again, you have to be visible. Like I had to step forward as the CEO as a personal brand. As a person that is at the helm of what I'm trying to do in the wedding industry, that's changing the paradigm. I'm we're not good. They don't everyone doesn't look one way. There's so many different ways that everyone looks when they're getting married as couples, relationships, all of that. And I am stepping forward as that person that's champion to show that champion to make sure that scene and the marketplace and it's scary, because not everyone wants to see that. Not everyone wants that to be seen. And I had to realize that I have to be that person to kind of step forward and be the speaky, like be the speaker for so many people.

Christine Li  12:55  
You know, I'm having flashbacks to my own wedding, I think which I think is maybe very tangential. But I felt the pressure of tradition. And they weren't really necessarily my tradition. So through a series of thoughts, I got to that flashback of my own wedding. And then I was trying to do things just a little bit off the side and a little bit, unconventionally, I got so much pushback, and then you make me think that the wedding industry in particular is very rigid with what you're allowed to do, how you're supposed to, like, you can only wear white, and that's what I was, that's part of what I was like the challenge. And, you know, and then adding the plus size, all of that, you know, like invisibility, not welcome not seen, not promoted, not supported. Not not available for stuff in there that you're taking on. Wow. So I'm glad we're having this conversation. Because I, you know, we think that this is this is available for everyone, and everybody has the same opportunities and everybody can dream, their dream. But there are lots of rules and invisible rules and rigidity and traditions that all of us have to kind of navigate and be aware of, and fight against when there there's room and a desire and a need. So thank you for being that person. Because I'm thinking you're creating space for all sorts of people. Right, not just the plus size brides as you're saying because now you're a media mogul, too. So yes, yes, yes.

Shafonne Myers  14:42  
And I think that's why I didn't realize like, you know, it's like at the crux of what I do. I just want people to be seen and feel seen. Like literally that's my overall I want everyone to be seen and feel seen. Is that in the wedding industry. Yes. Is that with all my wedding publications? Yes. Is that with entrepreneurs to help them show up in BC to sell and market themselves and get like it. It just once you realize this underlying theme in your life, you can start seeing where it's been all of your life. Like, even going back to childhood and being the person like, Oh, no one wants to play with them a girl, come play with me, I put on the monkey bars with you, I'll play on the playground with you, because I want you to feel seen. And that was at a young age like young age, I remember doing those things and being told that I was. So it's very interesting when you start seeing that theme that emerges and how it is on all of your aspects of your life.

Christine Li  15:36  
Now that you're a media mogul, are there other areas where maybe there's pushback, and you're wanting to I don't, I don't know what your future plans are? Like, where do you want to take this? And are there traditions, certain people certain rules that you're coming into contact with that are causing you to be like, Whoa, I didn't realize this was like that, or I need to be more

Shafonne Myers  16:04  
visible even. I'd actually even see kind of, even in the PR side of things, the agency side of things, and like the chiffon Meyers consulting side, because I think there's still this stigma of people not wanting to show up because of this fear of judgment. And there's so many fears of judgment, let's be completely honest, but specifically around how we look. Because in this coaching culture in this course, create a culture, it's like you are once again being shown what it's supposed to look like. And even if I was to say, Yeah, I see a plus size black person who is a black female, who is on TV, who is always doing talk shows who has always been tapped to be publicly, I don't see that really. So it's like, it's still the stigma of it looks a certain way. And I think that's still that thing that I'm butting up against now, kind of in this new iteration of what I'm doing is that it's still there, people are still hiding, people are still scared to be visible, because of all of these things that I've seen over the years. And now it's just a different demographic.

Christine Li  17:11  
How do you overcome any of that internalized voice that says, You know what, you can stay small, your own company already, you know, that other people can be the face of it, or other people can promote this or, you know, kind of all the different anxiety based excuses that we can make to not actually go the distance to not really be the leader, the face, the person, the recognizable personality and your personality shine so bright. So I know you from before we know each other because I've seen you in in the circles and on social media and things like that. So I feel like I knew you before we actually met but how do you how do you overcome your own twinges? Because I think as we're talking and you're telling me about what you've built, you're trying to help people with their own internal twinges, like people want to be seen, I think and generally, and that maybe they're saying, you know, I have to hide because I'm plus sized or because I'm in this region, or whatever story they have in their head. So I guess I'm bringing the question back to how do you keep going, despite these doubts,

Shafonne Myers  18:27  
you know, what I'm gonna say, and I know it's a philic is always a cliche, or that thing that everyone's like, okay, but I swear, the one thing that I am always kind of brought back to my center, brought back to my Grammy, whenever I get in my head, whenever that voice gets extremely loud, is what is your why. Why are you doing this chiffon? And at the end of the day, I'm doing it because I want people to be seen, and I want them to feel seen. And it's like, that literally is like my motto. And I'm always running that in my mind. And I'm always like, okay, great. You don't necessarily want to step out onto the stage, or you don't really want to put this offer out or you don't necessarily want to do this, because you're scared of what's going to happen. You're scared of being seen. You're scared of what someone's gonna say, Nope. What is your why I want people to be seen and feel seen. That's what I'm doing with ever with anything. I'm creating anything I'm doing any posts that I do, any podcasts that I do, I just want to be able to help someone feel seen and be seen. And so I think for most people and anyone who I've coached or talked to, or done any presentations to, if you can know what that is and always come back to that that's how you come back to that center. That's how you eradicate any and I literally call the mean girl, like when I talk about it a lot with like my couples or My Brides or anywhere I talk. I'm like yeah, that Mean Girls loud. Like she can be super loud. And she can be a major be sometimes, but it's like to get over her and to quiet her. She doesn't want you to remember You're why she doesn't want you to remember that. But if you remember that, instantly you're brought back. And you're like, Okay, I know what I need to do. Ma'am, I need you to go take that seat back there, and go to the back of the bus and not be so loud right now.

Christine Li  20:16  
I love it, you're making me think of Elizabeth Gilbert and I, somewhere she says, like, fear rides with us. But it never takes the wheel, something like that. I kind of liked that. Because it's, it's like those voices are going to be cropping up, I think, especially when we're about to elevate and we're about to kind of walk into new territory, that's when the fear gets really loud and gets really

Shafonne Myers  20:44  
I was about to say, girl, that's when she is literally the loudest and the meanest, because she knows that you're buttoned up there, she knows that you're and I say she because I'm she's always kind of, but it could be whatever they have you want to relate it. But I always am like, that's when I know that I'm not on the precipice of something big when it is when she is very loud. When it is kind of that constant that I'm hearing, I was like, oh, something's about that. I'm about to uplevel. I'm about to go to the next video game level. And it's like, but that's when you actually need to hear her, but also put her in check and say, No, this is my y. This is what I'm centered to. And I need to ground to this.

Christine Li  21:21  
I love this. Okay, now I'm going to shift a little bit to productivity. Because I imagine that having to be responsible for so many different moving parts and literally moving pieces like magazines, that you have some sort of secret when it comes to productivity and kind of keeping yourself because your your energy is always great. What I've seen, right,

Shafonne Myers  21:52  
you get my husband or my kids? And I'm like, wow, not all the time. Yeah.

Christine Li  21:56  
So tell us the tell us what we're not seeing. Tell us what you what you have succeeded at figuring out for yourself so that you can be a very high level performer.

Shafonne Myers  22:09  
I think for me, the biggest thing, especially in the productivity room is showing myself grace, like I am 100% You catch me on a certain day, and I'm like, the world is falling apart. Oh my gosh, like everything's burning down. And most people are like, Okay, this is not normal. This is not your normal stage. And I realized that in those moments, I have to give myself grace. And understand there's a reason why I'm feeling this way. There's a reason why I'm feeling like everything's burning down, everything's on fire. And most often, usually 99% of the time, I have overstocked myself, I have over extended myself. And for me, I'm very much someone who realizes that I have to have my own balance. And that balance was different on different days, that balance was different on different times of the seasons of my life. But I have to have that balance. And I have to have where I go when I sit outside on my patio and plus my dog during the day, I have to have where literally, I'm taking my husband Joe's I'm taking my lunch break. And when you work from home, it's like it's literally like 1520 30 minutes, and I'm watching reality TV. But those are my moments that I build into my schedule. Because I need those to decompress. I need those so that I can come back to what I'm doing and be the happy go lucky, cheery person that I am. And I have seen when I don't do those things. That's when it like it goes off the rails. Because I'm sitting there and I'm like, Oh, I didn't give myself my whitespace Oh, I didn't give myself my time to go out and kind of be alone and be in, you know, being nature. But that comes with giving myself grace and realizing when I don't do those things and just correcting

Christine Li  23:56  
Yes. Beautiful. Thank you for sharing those moments, because I think they're really important. They're they're just as important as the times when we're on and producing and creating is, is having the time to protect your mind and your body and your energy. So thank you for sharing that with me. Because just before we press record that was a question I didn't ask is kind of how are you doing hope these things right and being energetically healthy. So thank you, and thanks to your husband and

Shafonne Myers  24:30  
family. Like I said that if I bring him on, he's like well, y'all see a different side than we see most times. But it is and I think it really has. That has been something I'd say in the past a year that I've really been intentional about I'll say mastering but it's always mastering not like I have mastered but I'm always mastering it. But I've been very intentional and very intentional with these are my hours did I do not contact or do like communicate past these hours like but Uh, once again I say grace and giving myself grace because we are very hard on ourselves when we put those boundaries and parameters in place, but that's where that grace comes in and knowing like, Okay, I wanted to respond to that email. I know I shouldn't. I'm going to give myself grace, because I understand why am I wanting to? But I'm also going to say no, I'm not going to. And that's I've been very intentional the past year about really mastering that,

Christine Li  25:26  
yes, it's probably necessary. Yes, yes, at the level you're at. Wonderful. Thank you so much for sharing your, your experience and what you've been through what you've learned what you're learning, I love that point in particular, that it's not like a point of mastery. It's just like, every day includes a lesson or an experience or a part of that process of feeling like a master of feeling like you can keep things kind of flying. Right. So that's good. That's good. I know, I have other questions. And they are around this new part of your business of or newer part of the business around consulting with coaches, entrepreneurs, course creators, so that they can be the success that they feel they want to be there to so that they can fulfill their why too, can you share with us maybe one or two core lessons that you're trying to communicate with people?

Shafonne Myers  26:30  
I think when we look at visibility, when we look at showing up, when we look at really taking your business to the next level, there's definitely some things that I always try to share with people. Number one is really concentrating on the creation and the building of your personal brand. And I think me included, for so long, I hid behind my brands, I hid behind my wedding blogs, I hid behind even being the CEO of my media company in the beginning, because I didn't feel that anyone wanted to see who was bought, they just wanted everything to run. They just wanted to auto run. But they didn't want to see who the person was. And I realized when I had a conversation with someone, and I was talking about my bread, and they were like, Oh yeah, I love that brand. Oh my gosh, it's helped me so much. And it was literally my media company. Like I've submitted to them. I've gotten so much press, I've gotten so much publicity by being featured on the different publications. And I was like, Oh my gosh, that makes me so glad. Because I own that. And they're like, so like, you own that. And I was like, Yeah, I haven't really told people I don't really step forward, and they're like, oh, my gosh, I would talk about it more, I would tell my friends about it more, if I knew that it was you, because I genuinely care about you, and like you and trust you as a person. So that just makes me want to talk about it even more. In that moment. I knew a personal brand is so powerful. When you have a brand when you have a company, because people are not just buying your product or offer your service they're buying, they're buying it to you. And at that moment, I realized like, oh, shoot, this is powerful. This is where so many people don't concentrate. And they should. Because when you want to get on TV, when you want to make those sales, when you want to market yourself, a personal brand has to be created, and like known and trust for people to actually take that to the next level. And I think that's when you get out of that rat race of well, how so trying to do all this social and trying to do all this stuff, like you are building a personal brand yourself. And it stands out above and beyond anything else. So I'd say that's always where I start, always start there. And then the second thing that I always tell people about is, is when you're looking at pr publicity, whatever that is, I know everyone always wants to go top tier, everyone always wants to do top tier. Oh, I want to be on today's show, I want to be like, and that's great. But that's so hard. And it's like you cut your you cut it off at the knee like you cut off so much. When you try to attain and go that top tier when really an extra top tier is great. And we've talked about this top tier is great, but top tier doesn't always bring in the sales. Like people are like, Oh, I'm gonna get on today's show and my business is gonna blow up. And I'm like, Oh, it might not because that's a huge demographic, it might not be specifically yours. And so I always have to tell and remind people, there's so many other different tiers that you can go into different options for you that are not always that top tier that can net you so much more in sales and brand awareness and really propelling you forward into your next level. That's not just that top tier.

Christine Li  29:49  
Okay, so that second tip was operate smart. It sounds like Yeah. Yeah, I think there's As with any business there, there are things that can be really appealing, but they're actually more of a waste of your time. Unfortunately, then it might appear because they're shiny and because they're known. But yeah, getting your brand to the right people, and your services and your personality and your message is super important, super, super important. I think you are a star, thank you for being the leader and the person and the creator, and the helper that you are in the world, I am really touched by your presence and by this conversation, so thank you for being here with me and for for being here with our audience as well on the make time for success podcast, please let us know how people can read your magazines be in touch with you and or work with you let us know what the ways aren't.

Shafonne Myers  30:55  
Sure, sure. Um, I always tell people I personally love to play on Instagram, that's like my, my true playground. So and I'm at chiffon Meyers. And that little you can get to all of my wedding stuff, you can get to all my consulting stuff. That's kind of what I like to call my personal brand hub, it's the house of Shabbat, that's where like you go, you can see everything that I do everything that I work on. But if you want to find me online, it's still the same chiffon myers.com as well. And that also has how you can work with me how we can do any consulting or kind of get into whatever you're looking at, I have a lot of free content over there. So it's stuff that you can go and find there to

Christine Li  31:31  
thank you, I want to back up following Shavon on Instagram, because on social media, that's just a class in itself to just follow chiffon. It's a class on showing up really powerfully as yourself. And so I want to just put in a plug there, if I may, and want to wish you the best. And thank you so much again for being here. Well, that

Shafonne Myers  31:53  
makes me feel amazing, because that's literally what my purpose is like, just to be the inspiration for people. That is my purpose. And it's like, at the end of the day, as long as I'm doing that I'm living out my purpose. And that makes me so happy that you feel that because then I know I'm on the right track. I know I'm doing what I need to be doing.

Christine Li  32:11  
I know you're on the right track here. I hope you know that too. Thank you everyone for being here. Thank you so fun. And let's get on that right track. Let's be the people we need to be let's remember the why. Let's show up when we have those opportunities. Let's create more opportunities. If we need more and want more, it's going to be okay. Thank you so much. And thanks for making time for success with me today. I'll see you next week. Take care. 

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