Unveiling the Secrets of Supermom Insights for Planning Your Best Year with Lori Oberbroeckling

Christine Li  0:00  
Welcome back to the Make Time for Success podcast. This is the last episode of the year. Number 159. 

Are you curious to know how some women are able to avoid burnout despite being present in all areas of their life, home, work and family? My guest Lori Oberbroeckling has the answer to the question of what gives women their supermom power. And stick around even if you don't have children, because the insights that Lori shares in this episode are just gold and she's just golden two. The answers that she provides might surprise you, but I want to let you know. The answer is definitely not doing all the things all of the time. Lori Whitney Oberbroeckling is a mom of four, corporate leader and trainer, podcaster, productivity expert and the author of the book Secrets of Supermom: How Extraordinary Moms Succeed at Work, and Home and How You Can Too. She's passionate about helping parents who want fulfilling careers or side hustles or passion projects, while also wanting to feel present and connected to their families. I really enjoyed our conversation and how easily Lori responded to questions on all fronts. Whether we were talking about Mother burnout, career woman balance habits and planning for the year 2024. And I am sure there's going to be something in this episode that you can take away and use to uplevel your life right away because Lori is not just a supermom, she's just super let's go listen to this episode together now.

Hi, I'm Dr. Christine Li, and I'm a psychologist and a procrastination coach. I've helped 1000s of people move past procrastination and overwhelm so they can begin working to their potential. In this podcast, you're going to learn a powerful strategies for getting your mind, body and energy to work together so that you can focus on what's really important and accomplish the goals you want to achieve. When you start living within your full power, you're going to see how being productive can be easy, and how you can create success on demand. Welcome to the Make Time for Success podcast. 

Hi everyone. It's that time again, it's the end of the year 2023. This time, I think we've all been through a lot in this post COVID period was quite a long year. I think it's feeling from my vantage point and wondering what it's been feeling like for you. And today. I have the pleasure of bringing on Lori Oberbroeckling my special guest to help us have a conversation about this year 2023. And how to best strategize for an even better year in the coming year. Lori, welcome to the show.

Lori Oberbroeckling  3:08  
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Happy to be here.

Christine Li  3:10  
Oh, so happy to have you here. I had the pleasure of being on Lori's podcast. It's called The Secrets of Supermom Show. And I am curious because we are only just getting to know each other still. If Lori can just explain the whole concept of Supermom and Secrets of Supermom. And how that became your brand and what part of your life fits into that brand?

Lori Oberbroeckling  3:39  
Absolutely. I love how when we were chatting earlier, you said your rise to supermom status. And I was like that feels amazing. But really it was that during so I have been referenced as a supermom for for lots of my life. Right since I had children. My oldest is 14. So So for 14 years, I have been called a supermom in various ways, some of which were great. Right? It meant that I was working full time raising children. Traveling husband busy getting it all done. Right. And I felt really good about some of that. And then sometimes it was, you know, because I was doing all the things. I was doing a lot of the wrong things. So I might have looked like a supermom on the outside. But I sort of felt like a really burnt out overwhelmed supermom on the inside. And so I really wanted to take this term back, first of all right taking it back and saying that being a supermom doesn't actually mean doing everything. Being a supermom doesn't actually mean that you have perfect Pinterest parties or that you say yes to every volunteer opportunity or that you are you know your kids are in perfect clothes all the time or that you are the perfect career woman right? None of that none of that matters. If you are living the life that you want to live as the man I'm and the woman that you want to be, then I want you to feel like supermom, right. And so I want you to feel like supermom. And so, really, that's where this this whole, everything has started to grow. But the real piece of the super secrets of supermom came out of the pandemic, where I saw that there were moms doing things differently. And there were other moms doing things in different ways. And I wanted to know, those women that felt really good about the way they were living their life, what were they doing differently than these women that just constantly felt burnt out and overwhelmed with all of the things. So as I interviewed and surveyed and met with a bunch of moms, I was able to tease out these secrets. And so the book has 16. My book has 16, chapters 16 Secrets of the things that those moms were doing differently. And then that turned into a podcast and turned into some programs and memberships and all sorts of things that help busy moms, do the things that they want to do, and do them well, and feel really good about the life that they're living. That

Christine Li  5:59  
is fantastic. It sounds like a beautiful organic trajectory of your mission and your business. That sounds wonderful. I am of course curious if you could share one or two of those 16 points with us or even more if we have time, and you're willing, yes,

Lori Oberbroeckling  6:18  
I so I always love to share the first one. So the very first chapter is the secret of habits, because we know that and over and again, right? The moms that I interview, the moms I work with the moms I meet with routines, and systems make things easier, so that everything else requires less energy and effort. And really, that's the crux of habits, right. That's the crux of having whether you have a morning routine, or an evening routine, or a workout habit, or the kids have an after school routine, whatever that is, right? Whatever that that system, that routine, that strategy that you have whatever you have in place, that is helping you spend less mental energy, less physical energy on that thing. So that everything else is easier. And it's helping your kids for those of you that have kids that are home, right, like you have children that you are currently raising, it helps them feel that way, right helps them feel that they're not doing things differently, and wasting all of this decision making fatigue and energy and all of the things before they even get to the new, exciting, different thing that they're going to be doing on that day. So habits just it came back over and over and over again. And it had to be chapter one.

Christine Li  7:30  
Beautiful, I'm you're making me think not only habits, but if you do the habits mindfully, you're really just creating better energy in your home. And for your family members, which I would totally agree is a wonderful thing to put your focus on. Could you let's say, give me a little bit more of a sense of your own talents, in terms of what you came to mothering. Naturally with? Yeah, how you naturally organized? Are you actually kind of looking for the solution? I'm just curious about those kinds of Yeah,

Lori Oberbroeckling  8:11  
it's like a project manager problem solver. Right. Like, that's me. Yeah. So that is what I do for work that you know, in my corporate job, those are the things that I focus on in my life are being right, figuring out what is the most efficient way, what is the most strategic way. So I have those skill sets, there are other skill sets that I didn't have things like being able to say no setting good boundaries, right? That is part of a lot of these things like setting priorities, instead of having everything be important and trying to do everything, right. Those were not skill sets that I had, very strictly. And so I would often end up with a list of 100 things. And, you know, 75 of them, someone else counting on me for and having a really hard time figuring out how do I say no to this stuff when I've already said yes, right. So those were the areas that man I thought, Ah, this is what these women are doing differently. They know when to say, Oh, my goodness, yes, I can help with that. And ooh, I don't have capacity for that right now. And they're able to balance it and still do it while maintaining their community and their relationships and all of the people in their lives. And that's a balance. It's a delicate balance. And the ones that do it, well do it so well. And so I just look to those women and use them right to learn more about that because I can teach you strategy and systems and all those things all day long. But the best strategy isn't going to get me 600 things done in a day.

Christine Li  9:45  
Yes, yes. Agreed. I am thinking since I just got off a plane after a three day conference, surrounded by women, mostly women, and thinking about the fact that the majority A lot of women that I've been speaking with lately, have had to shift or recover from people pleasing, or people taking care of pattern. And I'm wondering what your thoughts are about the dominance have that as a burden or responsibility or expectation for women? Yeah,

Lori Oberbroeckling  10:25  
I think so often, we don't want to disappoint people, right? Maybe we grew up and we learned that that was not okay to disappoint people, right? Maybe it just felt really bad to disappoint people. Right? If your parents said, I'm so disappointed in you, like that would have probably been for me, because I was quite the good child. Right? That would have been the most terrible thing to hear. Right. I was not the rebel child, I was the child that they came into, if they would have said, We're disappointed that you did this. Oh, soul crushing, right. And so I think that's a lot of us. Some of you are rebels. And that's not you, and you don't care. And, you know, please show me your ways. But but the thing is that we do, we don't want to disappoint people. And sometimes I think we also think that we're the only one in certain things, right? Like, we think, Well, I'm the only one that can clean my house away, I want to get it cleaned. And then we realize we you know, we maybe hire someone down the road. And we realize, oh, that person actually does a better job than me. And they're faster. And I don't have to do it, right. So I know, that's like a little example. But sometimes we just are very stuck in the fact that not only would we disappoint people if we didn't do it, but I'm probably the best person to do this. And when reality is that, that we're not always the best. And it doesn't always, I talk a lot about energy bleeds, energy blocks, and energy boosts. So bleeds are kind of suck your energy dry, write a block just sort of stabilizes it. And then an energy boost is that thing that gives you life. And I talk a lot about that. And I feel like when we just do all the things, because we think we might disappoint somebody, or we, you know, we think that we might be the best at it. Sometimes we might be really good at something. But it's not actually an energy boost. For us, it might actually even be an energy bleed for us, even though we might be very competent at something right. I think about things that I do in my corporate job that I'm very competent at, but they certainly are not boosting my energy in any way. They're not making me excited. They're not bringing me life, right. And then there are other things that all I could do them all day long. I could do them forever, because they're just so great. Right? And so I think that we forget that it's okay to say no to those things that bleed us, even if we're competent. And it's okay to try to focus our lives around the things that really light us up. Yeah,

Christine Li  12:41  
I think it's when you say we forget my mind goes to I think we have to learn to do it. Because some people really never had it in the first place never had the experience of being able to say no, and it's such an important life shift, to begin to take care of your every decision with those words, yes and no. And using them very mindfully, with confidence that whichever word you use, it's going to be okay, like everyone around you is going to be okay. The situation is going to be okay. And you're going to be okay. And I believe that that's why the people pleasing goes on for decades sometimes. Because there is the fear that really nobody's going to be okay. And if you have that fear of your safety, that's going to maintain that habit. So thank you for explaining how habits work, the three types of energy and love those labels, and also the fact that you can shift from even lifelong habits in terms of how you relate with people and decision. So great, good. Great. All right. So we've got a little bit of the secrets of the supermom backstory. I love it. I feel great about that, because I was definitely curious about that. Can we shift to figuring out what's happened with 2023? And what's going to happen in 2024? What is on your mind about this time of year for yourself? And what have you noticed in your tribe of women that you coach and lead? And what do you have planned for the next year? Yeah. So

Lori Oberbroeckling  14:20  
I think a really big mistake that a lot of us make, so we're sitting right very end of the year, we're thinking about the new year, we're getting excited. Most of us have this sort of excitement and motivation that just sort of comes from a fresh start. Many of us like fresh starts, right? So although I think you can plan a beautiful year, your best year ever, at any point during any time of the year. January feels really good because we've got this motivation that is also around us to right everyone's sort of excited about a fresh start. And so here we are thinking about the new year and my biggest guilt is that every year I focus on that new year I folk is on going forward barreling forward two goals. Two things I'm excited about, let's do all these fun new things. Right? I am excited about that new here. And I have always not anymore. But in the past, I have always been very terrible about looking backwards. I've been very terrible about looking back and going, hmm, what did my last year or maybe even couple of years if I've never done this before? What did it look like? And what do I want to change for this year, so that last year feel so that this year feels even better? Right? I can't plan my best year ever, if I don't know what my last year felt like, if I don't know what my last couple of years felt like. And so I would do this. And I didn't always hit my goals. And I feel like I made mistakes over and over again, right, like the people pleasing the lack of boundaries, I didn't realize those things. And I just kept making those mistakes over and over again, and I call them mistakes. They're beautiful learning experiences. And I am I am where I am because of them. But then it's hard to learn that in the real time, right. And so I just, I think when I learned, oh, I should look back at my previous year, it was really on a year that I probably felt the most burnt out, I was burnt out, I felt terrible. At the end of the year, I felt like if I wasn't going every second of my waking hours, and limiting my sleep, I couldn't get it all done. And I was exhausted. I hated doing even the fun things. I just didn't want anything in my life anymore. I just hated it all. So that year I said, this was terrible. I'm not doing this again. So for my next year, I am What do I need to do differently. I wanted to staycations or vacations every quarter with my family time away from all the things where I just got to focus on them on my husband and on those kiddos. And we just got to hang out together, right? Even if it was just at a pool at a hotel and another spot in the city, right? I just wanted that time to focus. I wanted to go out and have fun. I wanted to go to concerts, I wanted to do these things. So that year, I looked forward and I said how can I make this year different from last year. And that was really my biggest goal. And that next year, not only did I hit all my goals, but it was one of my best years ever, I had the best year because of doing that analysis of looking back. And in my case, I had to look back at a lot of stuff that I just didn't want to do anymore. But it's also important to look back and be like this was working and felt so good this year. I'm gonna keep doing that. Right? Maybe you started yoga last year, and you love it and you feel so great. Well, let's keep yoga going. How do we keep that? You know that membership going? Or how do we keep those classes in line? How do we keep that on our schedule? And really saying how do I want this year to be different in a good way, and the same in a good way to. And so I think that that's really what I want to share. The biggest thing today, right is that it's really important to take that look back because it is so powerful. And those high achievers like me that just want to barrel forward, we have to remember that we've got to stop. And let's look back, and let's figure those things out. Because every year can be better than the year before. If we consistently make those tweaks.

Christine Li  18:09  
I love it. I note to myself that you talk like a planner. And I know you are a planner now that we've been interviewing you. Could you give a couple of micro steps to those of us who are listening and maybe your host who aren't natural planners. What is a way to really kind of activate that part of the brain that says you know what, I can make these individual decisions, I can pick out that time block, I can forecast into the future all of those skills. Can you give us some tips about how to do that and have calm in your heart?

Lori Oberbroeckling  18:51  
Yeah, yeah. So if I am doing my my review of the previous year, I actually pull my planner out, I look through my actual planner. And I have we use the cozy app as my family, right? Not sponsored, but like we just love it right? We've used it for almost 10 years. And so my husband and I share this app, the kids that have phones are now part of this app, and it's got all of our stuff. So I can easily scroll through the whole last year. You can do it in your Google Calendar, Outlook, whatever you're using. And I can actually look at the things that I've done, and see how I feel looking back at those right sometimes you go back and you're like, Oh, I love that trip to the snow. Right? We took a cabin trip, we got to sled all day long power went out. It was glorious. It was so much fun. We had the best time and I can go we want to do that again. And what have we done? We've already scheduled that trip, same trip planned for this year done it right. So as far as strategy goes, if you're not a planner, but you maybe use a calendar or you use something to track your activities. You can scroll through that and just start to say how did that make me feel? What I want to do that again? Did I have I have a month where things were exhausting and terrible. And work was out of control. And, you know, or I traveled a ton and I hated it, or I traveled a ton, and I loved it. And then how can I then look at my calendar moving forward and map those things in? Now? Does it have to be super strict? Do I have to say on June 1, so I'm going to do this? No, but could I make a month, you know, like a one sheet of paper that just has some months and say, in June ish, I'd like to do this in July ish, I'd like to do this, and just start to get those ideas flowing. So that as you start to work into your year, maybe you feel too locked down by that plan, you at least have that general idea of the things that you would like to do. Because when we don't plan at all, like if you are not a planner, and you never ever plan, oftentimes you will find that the end of the year, you didn't do the things that were maybe in your mind, because you never actually put the plan in place, you were thinking it'd be really fun to go to a concert this year. But you have zero concerts on your calendar, right, you're thinking it'd be really fun to take a vacation to the beach this year. But that beach vacation never happened, because you didn't actually make the plan. So even if it locking down later in the year feels too stressful, you can still sort of put that brainstorm calendar in place, right? And then you've got those things to look forward to. And I think that looking forward to things, it's really important for us, right, giving those things to be excited about and for our families, our kids, we love to be excited about things to come. So that just gives us a chance to do that too. Terrific.

Christine Li  21:33  
You are now making me think about the impact on your children. When you have an idea about what's coming up, do what have you noticed?

Lori Oberbroeckling  21:46  
So I have heard parents say, I don't tell my kid about that. Because then they asked me about it 50 times, so I don't tell them about it until right before we're going to do it. And I am so against that behavior. I I'm okay if they asked me about it 50 times because I know the power of being excited about something, right. So I know that my family knows we're going to the beach in June, and it's December right now, right? We are very far from June. But they know we're doing that and they're excited about it. And I'm excited about it. And we get to plan and talk about it and dream about the things we might want to do. And there is power in that look forward that being excited about life, that being excited about the things to come. And so I want to feel that in my own soul, right. And I want to feel it with a family. And so I think it's really powerful to do that, to tell them what is coming to get excited about the year to come. You know, we do vision boards as a family. And they just draw things like oh, I want to you know, play football this year, or I you know, want to have more sleepovers this year, it's things like that, but it's still things to be excited about things to say, Yeah, that would make my life amazing.

Christine Li  22:57  
I love this. I love your enthusiasm. I love your confidence. I love your planning ability. And I love the added piece of the excitement that there's room we have not only do we have room for excitement that it can just elevate your experience of going through the day to day, right. Can I tell

Lori Oberbroeckling  23:20  
you how important I think excitement is. So every day. Every day, I send a message to a business bestie. And in that message, I write three things I'm grateful for. And my gratitude is always things that I have that have happened or have been a part of my life in the last 24 hours. Very specific things. One thing I'm manifesting into my life, and three things I'm excited about every day, I send this to my business friend every single day. So this is how important I believe excitement is in your life.

Christine Li  23:50  
Okay, so repeat for those of us who caught one or two and myths.

Lori Oberbroeckling  23:56  
Every day I tell her I tell her I write them in my own journal. And then I tell her because it's even more powerful to share it right. Three things I'm grateful for. One thing I'm manifesting into my life mine almost always has to do with energy. Right now mine is I have an abundance of energy that makes me unstoppable. I love it so much. I write it almost every day the same one I rarely change it. And then three things I'm excited about.

Christine Li  24:21  
I'm excited about this tip that you just gave us. Right. So

Lori Oberbroeckling  24:25  
I mean, and it could be I'm excited to see my daughter's holiday show next week. I'm excited that the kids and I are going to volunteer at a food pantry this weekend. I'm excited for date night. I'm excited that my project is almost done at work and I am you know, so close to the end. Anything that I'm excited about I put in there because it changes the frame of reference for how I'm living my life.

Christine Li  24:49  
I see it tick tock, tick tock. Well, you could do it tick tock but I see a TED talk in just transform that into a TED talk. You're done. You're ready prepared. 2024 Okay,

Lori Oberbroeckling  25:05  
oh, baby, it needs to go on my vision board. I've

Christine Li  25:07  
been working on it. There you go. I'll make sure I'm invited, please. And then, let's see, let's talk about your tribe of women and what you've learned from leading this group of women who are ready to up their game when it comes to being a mom and juggling all the things and balancing all the things as best as they can. What have you learned from the one to many approach? Where were you are trying to hold the space? You're trying to read this space? You're trying to intuit what they need? What have you learned, that you could share with our audience?

Lori Oberbroeckling  25:46  
I love this question. And I didn't know you're gonna ask this. So I, in my mind, I will tell you what it comes up automatically for me baby steps and one focus. And so I'm going to explain what both of those things mean. Baby steps means that those that have seen the biggest transformation, have not ever taken a massive transformation, like they are all making little changes, they're changing a little bit about their movement, they're eating a little bit better, they're changing a little bit about how much water they drink, right? They're making, they're doing a little bit better with their planning, they're doing a little bit better, week by week, day by day, right. And those are the ones that I've seen make the most progress are the ones that are just taking baby steps. So that's the baby step piece. And then the one focus is we are so often drawn in a million directions, right? So often we're drawn in a million directions, we have a to do list of 87 things, we look at that and we go even if I did 13, it doesn't matter. I didn't even get close to the end. And we feel like failures all the time. And so when I can change that thought for myself and for the women that I work with, to say, if I were to end my day and only did one thing, what would that one thing be what would make me feel successful. And then I get that thing done, I can change the way I feel about the day, I can change the way I feel about my week and about my month and about my year. And so having that just singular focus is a lot easier. And it's a lot easier to make progress, you're focusing on one thing, one baby step at a time, then that's how we make all of these changes. And we can feel so good about it. And that's really what I want for everyone is to feel good about the progress they're making feel good about the current right feel good about right now, and feel good about the journey ahead feel good about the journey you've taken, and just constantly feel like you are living your best life. So

Christine Li  27:38  
wonderful, and so true, that we can really knock ourselves off our own game. And I happen to be in that 87 To Do list kind of day just because I got off the plane the other night and things kind of piled up. And they're all really teeny tiny, but they feel really overwhelming at the moment. And so thank you for making specific what the task is right to just regain your focus. Be kind to yourself, as you're feeling overwhelmed, especially when you're feeling overwhelmed. And take those baby steps, keep moving. But don't assume that you have to just change the entire landscape. In in one in one movement, you don't just have to keep trying. And keep the excitement and the gratitude in there, which I know you're really great at doing. Thank you for being such a great guest today. And for being such a model to women around the world. I am so glad our paths crossed and I'm looking forward to collaborating with you in the future. Can you share with our audience how they can stay connected with you? And also your big project for 2024? Coming up?

Lori Oberbroeckling  28:53  
Yes. So Dr. Christine, Li was so gracious to join me in a really special project that I have. And that is the how to plan your best year ever podcast series. So we have seven different guests. Actually, it might even be eight. Oh my goodness, I think we have a guest because I think we expanded it. So we've got this many different women, right? Eight different women telling us how they plan their best year ever. So being able to really dig in and listen each day to say, how could I do this a little bit differently? How can I take little pieces of what I learned from these amazing women and tie it into my plan for the year so that I really can plan my best year ever. And so if you head over to the Secrets of Supermom Show podcast you will find all those episodes and I'm so excited for it to kick off and for us to learn. It's amazing. This is the series that I interview and then I listen again and then I listen again because I just love what these women share so much and it is so powerful to me. I love to tie these in. I take Take notes and journal entries after every interview. I just, they're so powerful. It really is. If you're looking to plan your year, this is it. Okay, wonderful.

Christine Li  30:08  
I was very honored to be on Lori's show. It's wonderful. She's spectacular. As you now know, everyone, and I'm just going to repeat the name of the podcast. It is the Secrets of Supermom Show. Definitely subscribe to the show. Keep following Lori. And I know I will, too. Thank you so much, Lori. It has been such a pleasure. Have a wonderful new year. Thank you. Thank you. All right, everyone. I wish you a very Happy New Year as well. I will see you in 2024. Thanks for being here. And for being a fan of the Make Time for Success Show. Take care. Bye. 

Thank you for listening to this episode of the Make Time for Success podcast. If you enjoyed what you heard, you can subscribe to make sure you get notified of upcoming episodes. You can also visit our website maketimeforsuccesspodcast.com for past episodes, show notes and all the resources we mentioned on the show. Feel free to connect with me over on Instagram too. You can find me there under the name procrastination coach. Send me a DM and let me know what your thoughts are about the episodes you've been listening to. And let me know any topics that you might like me to talk about on the show. I'd love to hear all about how you're making time for success. We'll talk to you soon.

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