"Wherever You Go, There You Are" How to Know You Are Enough Now with Beverley Simpson

Christine Li  0:01  
Welcome back to the Make Time for Success podcast. This is episode number 102. 

If you've ever struggled with how to reconcile your true gifts and talents with how the world operates, or with your own self criticism and demands of yourself, I think you're gonna love this episode with my special guest Beverly Simpson. Inside this episode, you're going to hear how Beverly has made it through several journeys. Through feeling she was not exactly the right fit, to struggles with body image, to struggles with wanting things in her life to go just so and arriving at a point where she realized that self acceptance is one of the most powerful tools we have for making an impact in the world. Beverly is a certified personal trainer, turned online fitness business owner who coaches fitness entrepreneurs in their businesses and helps them fine tune their messaging to grow their companies past six figures. She truly is a master at strategy and an expert at guiding her clients to generate the greatest impact they can. Please note that in this episode, Beverly goes into some intense detail when describing her pregnancy and childbirth. So please use your discretion as to whom you're going to be listening to this episode with. Let's go listen to this great episode together now.

Hi, I'm Dr. Christine Li, and I'm a psychologist and a procrastination coach. I've helped 1000s of people move past procrastination and overwhelm so they can begin working to their potential. In this podcast, you're going to learn a powerful strategies for getting your mind, body and energy to work together so that you can focus on what's really important and accomplish the goals you want to achieve. When you start living within your full power, you're going to see how being productive can be easy, and how you can create success on demand. 

Welcome to the Make Time for sSuccess podcast. Hi everyone. It is Dr. Christine Li back again for another episode. Today I am joined with my colleague and friend Beverly Simpson, who I am pretty new friends with just for past couple of months. But I think we bonded pretty quickly. And we found out when we were bonding that we are actually also neighbors, relatively speaking. And though in the world of the web, we're pretty close to each other in our geographic location. I think Beverly has a lot to share with us. She is a business and entrepreneur coach to fitness professionals. Her specialty is messaging and sales. And I've just been watching her for a little bit and I'm curious about her methods. And I'm curious about her style and her backstory. So welcome to the show. Beverly.

Beverly Simpson  3:01  
Christy, thank you so much for having me. I am super pumped to be here it is honestly a pleasure and a privilege to hang out and spend time with you today.

Christine Li  3:10  
Well, thank you so much. I have now noticing how long my introductions are. But I think I fall in love with my guests before I even interview. So I think I've done that with you too. So please do me the favor of you taking over the mic and sharing with my audience, what you're about what you like to do, how your brain works, all these things and just share what you want to today.

Beverly Simpson  3:36  
Sure. Okay. So my name is Beverly Simpson and I am the owner of BS in fitness. And the creator of the PT profit formula. And for me, you know, it's interesting, right before we hit record, we were talking about, you know, what is your journey, I feel like I've had so many dramatic life transitions, and I'm just now turning 40. And I feel like I've had four lives in the span of you know, one timeframe but I actually am I I got started in fitness actually from my drive it to grow and be in a musical theater career. That's what actually brought me to New York. So I was performing all I had my undergrad in California. That's where I'm from, and that's what I was doing. And then right when I turned 26 I just had this like now or never and and it was a perfect transition. So I dropped everything. And I drove across the country and I knew no one in New York, and I started chasing Broadway. And so and I got a master's from a like a performance college I guess like conservatory that was what I was looking for. And so then from there, what I realized is that that's really where I started to, to pursue fitness because I had this belief in my mind that my perfect job was on the other side of fixing my body. And so that's what got me into the gym. And so I had this person give you this advice once, which I live by, which is that you have to love the process more than the outcome because you're going to spend more time in the process than you are in the outcome. And so I just had this, I hated the process of auditioning and sit and I, and I tried to take something I loved to do and turn it into, into a profession. And I just lost this sense of joy when it came to singing and dancing, and acting. And so I was living in the gym anyway, so it just made sense. And so I transitioned into the fitness space, and I became the fastest growing personal trainer, system fitness manager, to fitness manager to district fitness manager for a national gym. And I was running five Manhattan gyms, hiring and developing trainers, and other leaders and bringing in $2.1 million per year for a national company. And then I had two kids. And I had this moment of like, well, let me they're gonna build my own dream or someone else's dream. And you know, it was really interesting, because wherever you go, there you are, right. And so every transition, it felt like I was chasing something on the X, you know, on the other side of me. And it really wasn't until I had children that I had this epiphany, this realization that it was, it was all for a reason. It all came full circle when I realized, I mean, I've had a couple of realizations where I just was like, oh, wherever you go, there you are. And no matter what I do, the same patterns are still showing up for me. And my children were like my biggest reflectors, my biggest mirrors that showed me specifically, like, oh, no, Beverly, you know, I left theater because I thought it was a narcissistic industry. But no, no, that was me. That was me blaming my body having narcissistic thoughts. Not I'm not a traditional, like narcissist. That's not what I'm saying. But it was just me living in that, in that sense of, of, you know, just always fixated and self focused, I'll say that. And so that's what brought me to what I do now, which is help trainers build personal brands and other health coaches. You don't have nutrition, registered dieticians, physical therapists, and I really help them honestly, just stand in their own power and be powerfully themselves. So that they can sell comfortably and you know, master the art and science of selling without selling.

Christine Li  7:43  
Okay, beautiful, I could definitely hear at least four lives in that tree that you shared with us right for describing the basic steps of your path and paths. I'm wondering, the thing that caught my attention was when you said, you felt that the perfect job was on the other side of getting your perfect body? Would you mind if we started there in terms of what that was about? And how that might have made you and how you were able to move around that and pass that.

Beverly Simpson  8:18  
I love it. I love it. I love it. Okay. So it's great. I mean, honestly, that was like kind of, you know, a very, very important part in my life, was that what I meant was I traditionally, so for those of you who don't know, the musical theater world, you have different, you know, types and you have different sounds of voice that you are typically cast into, right. So at least back in the day, and when I say back in the day, I'm talking like 10 years ago, and I know that they're working to change it, but there is a reason why is just a very externally cast job. Essentially people are, are judged by what they sound like what they look like how they pay. It's all very subjective. It's a very subjective industry, right? So I had an ingenue voice meaning that I was a typical classical soprano. So my soprano voice was very you know, I just had a very like, soprano voice Kelly Kelly O'Hare style. Okay. operatic, but those ingenue types of roles don't fit my personality. I'm actually a very character style actor and person really like I'm comedic I do voices I have a very intense there's an intensity about my energy I'm a not your I am not your typical ingenue. Julie Jordan type of person, right? And it's not a bad thing. I'm like a winner Fred in Once Upon A nitrous like if we want to, like get crazy if we want to be, you know if we do need a visual for that. So for me and honestly, I look back on it now and even as I'm talking about it, it wasn't necessarily my body type in terms of like, I felt like I wasn't fit enough that's not true I was it was just not an energy that I carry. I was not I'm just not that type of person. But back then. I thought that it was because I wasn't thin enough. So I started getting really like body obsessed. And almost like body dysmorphia. Ish, right where it felt like, I mean, we've all had those moments where we look back at old photos that are like, Haha, I thought I was so fat then Right. But that's mental. That's all in, in our heads from back then and now. Right? So. So I was just in this pattern of oh, I need to get thin. As soon as I get thin as soon as I get then then I'll get cast. As soon as I get then I'll then I'll get cast. And for the record, I was an am like a traditionally lean person. I was lean, I just in my mind didn't think I was lean enough. Right? That's what I meant when I said it was a narcissistic thought pattern because it was just self focused. I felt like every morning was how do I look? What what do I sound like? Am I lean enough whatever was in my mind. And so then like every other actor actress out there, you have to get a job. So I have a day job while you audition. So I was a waiter for four years in my 30s. And I was living that lifestyle or, you know, late 20s, early 30s. And then I then because I was just living in the gym so much I moved to the gym. And so I said all get certified and I went down this rabbit hole of like getting certified, getting all these certs. And I had this moment where I got to help someone else achieved their goal. And it was the first time that I got to be outside of myself in terms of my thinking, and it just gave me a new dopamine hit. So I said, I thought, Oh, I'm just leaving this narcissistic industry. But I'll go into fitness. And I'm laughing because fitness, not a subtle, focused industry, like alive. Everyone's not everyone. But it was an opportunity for me to see more of a linear progress. And I recognized in that moment, which is probably why I love I love music so much is that it just felt less subjective. I felt less like I was being you know, judged by even though we're judged 100% of the time, but I was feeling less, like my work could be measured a little bit more objectively, instead of subjectively, it was like do this, yeah, take this action, eat a little bit less calories and work out more, and you're gonna see progress, as opposed to what auditioning felt like, which was very much like put your heart out on the table, and then someone else gets to decide if that's gonna work or not. Yeah, so that's what I meant when I meant that I was having like all these, you know, body stuff. And then it wasn't until I had my kids that I realized that it wasn't the industry. And while while some of that is true, that it's a little bit more subjective. Meaning that it's other people's opinions in terms of your cast. It's not, and you know, that they get to decide what your talent level is. And it's not quite as linear and say, you know, science or training, to an extent because, of course, they're invisible components that we can't see. But it was when I had my two daughters that I realized my first where I almost died, I almost died at birth to try and preserve my body that I realized, oh, ah, not the industry. Beverly, do you you need to look closely at your beliefs about what you think about external circumstance or the external world affecting you. Right, and that, and and, and that's only one realization, because it's not until later that I realized that I was just in this constant chase of becoming, as opposed to just remembering who you are either different

Christine Li  14:22  
going to address that point before you set it. The curiosity that I think I have is kind of Was there something way back when in you that made you maybe particularly vulnerable or attuned to the possibility that other people were thinking about you or judging you?

Beverly Simpson  14:42  
Yeah, I mean, I've, we've gone down this personal development road for a long time. So I've been able to look very closely at that. My life experience and environments that I was brought up in, and I love my parents, and I'll just say this one caveat. Nothing I wouldn't say to their face, I love them. They're amazing. I think that as a parent, I can empathize with us doing the best that we can with the tools that we have. And with that also said, I lived in a in an environment that was very critical, it was a very critical environment, whether it was intentional or not intentional, I mean, I still hear it now. And I'm always calling my dad out on it, like, hey, that's critical. And you we don't need to be critical here. So I think because of that environment, it led me to feel oftentimes not like never enough, it didn't matter what the achievement was it a never felt like enough and be somehow in my life, at some point, there was a attachment to the work, you're worth being associated to achievement, for whatever reason that was, it might not even have come from my parents, I just know that it was there for me. And oftentimes, that neural pathway in my brain still exists, I just have to remember to turn right instead of going left.

Christine Li  16:08  
And just thinking about how many people are listening and resonating with these elements of having perhaps critical environments, when they were growing up a critical voice inside their head, that might have grown out of that or, or just emerged in order to protect the overall health of the self. And also the, you know, my area is protecting people from procrastination tendencies that the whole link between self worth and what you're producing, and how good it's being received, is really just the core root of how procrastination ever is always around. Because there's that fear spot, that I must be missing something, I am missing something, I need to be filling myself up with something or fixing something, or performing in a certain way to get the calm that I'm looking for, or whatever you're looking for that journey that never seems to end.

Beverly Simpson  17:10  
Absolutely. And like let's also you know, Let's also not forget that I was growing up, I grew up in theater and doing theater as a kid. So it didn't just come from my parents, you have this constant state of rejection all the time. And one of the things that I think the industry, I wonder if you know, there's only so much they can do, but that's a disservice, especially at a young age, when you choose someone else for the role, because there's only one role and five kids auditioning, it's easy to take that personal and then as meaning making machines, we make it mean something that it didn't even really mean in the first place. But there's a lack of communication, you know, for whatever reason, whether that's just the way it is the way the industry is the school the teacher doesn't like there's a sense of lack of communication to communicate from the the authority figure to the student, or the kid and or my case, me, that says, hey, you're enough, you're fine, you're talented, we went with this person, for whatever reason, this is going to be better for you because of XYZ. That part I feel like is missing specifically in a younger theatre world, right? So there's a lot of challenges, and then they don't really give you they don't really prep you and you're in your mind enough to have the tools to really move through the personalization of the experience. Right. And it's interesting, because we can all double tap it on Instagram, we can all say it, you know, businesses and personal and theater, you know, auditioning, is it personal. But how can you say that when your whole heart and soul, your mind, your body, your heart Love is getting poured into the work, whether it is professional, like training and learning business, or it's singing and dancing. You can't say that business is both personal and not. It's both synergistically, yes.

Christine Li  19:23  
Thank you for putting a pin on it. And really, I'm really explaining why it's so important to kind of be alert to the dynamics that are happening in times when people might be let down or rejected or not chosen. And I from the psychologist standpoint, understand like the child's ego and understanding levels are not fully developed as talented as they may be singing and dancing and acting wise. It's just not all put together it I mean, we're much older and we're still working on things right. So the vulnerability there is real. I find myself stuck on what you said, Forgive me about the fact that you almost died. reserving your body and the birth of your first child. Could you maybe give us some more detail what you're willing to share? And then yeah, sure how that how that affected your your journey?

Beverly Simpson  20:16  
Yeah, for sure, absolutely. So now this is 2015. Okay, so 20 is now you know, she's going to turn seven this year. So this is not that long ago. So let me take you back to me. Now I'm a I'm a fitness manager for a big box gym. Okay, I'm responsible for bringing in $200,000 in training per month, okay, just at this time, I grew to millions later, but at this moment, and I'm pregnant, and I have a high achiever, I still identify as a high achiever for whatever reason, right? And so I'm in training, and it's also, you know, a predominantly male industry. And I'm just gonna say right now that every male that I worked with were in the were incredible. I loved every single one of my colleagues, they were very, they were very, you know, just they treated me like an equal, there was none of that there was none that I misogynistic stuff, okay. It was me again, it comes back to me. And this is not internal massage me, that's not what I'm saying. This is just me wanting to stay and had nothing to do with like, I need to keep up with the boys or run with the boys. But I just wanted to stay, I didn't want anything to change. And I didn't and it was almost like I was pretending I wasn't pregnant. And it had nothing to do with like, trying to match my colleagues, it had everything to do with trying to match my own search my own expectations, and my own rules that I had put for myself, which was that I was going to, you know, go to the eye and people laugh like you are going to give birth at Miss Jen. And frankly, if I didn't have my 38 week appointment, I would have I would have given birth to equity in the gym. But I had to leave early on that day because it was my 38th week appointment. And it was also my wedding anniversary. So I went to the appointment and I was zero centimeters dilated by the way zero. But I got to know what happened. i My water broke when I got home and I was giving birth so now one of my biggest concerns remember I would go you know go back to my musical theater days where I'm totally body dysmorphia, still body dysmorphia, and not realizing it. And I was adamant that I was going to have a natural birth and I'm saying that in quotes if you're if you're listening to that, because that's the language that was going on in my mind that I have to have a natural birth so that I can recover quickly come back to work and get my body back. Those are the three things that I wanted. Nevermind, like being a good mom. Having the bet no one did not want any of that. Remember, wherever you go, there you are. So this was an example of me still like all about me, right? So now I also now I'm going into the birth and I'm having on 38 weeks and I had a failure to descend. So that means that when he was six pounds was six pounds and she wasn't coming into the pelvis canal essentially or into my pelvis. And she was sunnyside up with it, they say and so every push was like snapping her neck. Essentially, I was snapping her neck in half. But I was I did not care. I was like I am not getting a cesarean if we get a Syrian will cut my abs and I'll never get my body back. And oh, the other thing too, that I wanted to say is I also will because I was just so in denial about having a baby. I took the you know, and I wanted the baby the baby was planned. That was another thing the baby was planned. This was not like a surprise baby. But my sister said or I had a sister that said don't google anything but I took that a little bit one step too far because I literally just pretended I didn't have why wasn't pregnant. And my other sister who has you know, she has a 14 year old now is 16 and 14. She was like, Hey, I gotta tell you two things. And I was like what she said, you're still gonna look pregnant after the baby's born and I was like, why? No way the baby's out. She's like, Yeah, you're still gonna look pregnant. And even if you have a cesarean, you know, it's still things are not going to be right for a while. And I was like, What are you talking about? That's insane. Right? So now I'm giving birth and I'm like, get the forceps and my doctor is like, listen to me. That is not been around since the 80s. Girl. You need to chill and just get a cesarean it's gonna be fine. And I was refusing so because I was refusing I was you know, going in out of consciousness when he was dying i My platelets I mean it was just you know, like you Pretty dramatic, it was very dramatic. And my husband comes into the room and is like, listen, both of you are not going to make it if you do not like, Get your together. And so I said fine. And I had to go under general anesthesia. Like it was just a very, very traumatic experience of bringing gland into the world both because it was very, it was hard because I thought I was going to be I thought it was going to be, or I had a lot of guilt, I'll say that. And I still feel that guilt sometimes because it was very, like, I wanted it to be about her. But it was not about her. It was about me. And I felt like like that push from the labor room to like the Syrian almost like going in and out of consciousness. But I remember being heartbroken about what was about to happen. And also like feeling bad that I was heartbroken about it. And that was a very interesting, very important moment of my life. Because it was then that I realized, Oh, this is not about this is this is wasn't about theater. This wasn't about any of that. This is about me. And it was an opportunity for me to begin the healing journey of you know, me, essentially,

Christine Li  26:16  
yes, I'm so grateful. You're both Well, thank you for sharing that incredibly intense story. And I'm glad that all the best decisions were made and that it launched you into healing. You really did. Yeah, that journey for yourself. And thank you for sharing all of your stories. Because a lot of life you've been living and having to learn about yourself, and the way you are and because of doing all these podcasts interviews as as you have been yourself. And the fact that I'm a psychologist too. And so interested in people's stories, it's like every person has got multiple layers, multiple selves, multiple scars and healing journeys that they've had to force to be on really, right. And, and I think some of the themes are that we learn from the most stressful parts of those journeys, too. So if you're listening, and I hope you are, dear podcast listener, just know that each part of your journey is part of where you are a part of who you are, and that there's room to maneuver, there's room to grow, there will be hindsight. So try to give yourself grace in the moment that you're in that tough spot, because that's going to allow you to be the most flexible, and just know that Beverly and I are rooting for you. Absolutely. Let's now move into kind of what you do now with your clients because I've been watching you on Tik Tok. You're so informative, you're so authoritative. Is that the right word? That is the right word. I think that's what I wanted to get the right word there. And you have so much it's like a it's like a river of information that you can share. And I'm wondering, what is your creative process? That's the first question I'll start with.

Beverly Simpson  28:19  
You mean in like my content creation?

Christine Li  28:21  
Yeah. In terms of how you decide, okay, this is the thing, and I'm not going to be afraid of that this is the wrong thing to say or that kind of thing. How do you generate How do you become a machine of content creation?

Beverly Simpson  28:35  
I love this question. Okay. So first of all, it's just very interesting because I know I'm a just a huge believer that there is absolute and this is my own personal bias. So I'll you know, I can acknowledge that it's just that I just live my life knowing that everything no matter what it is, no matter what's happening is just meant for me. And so it's the people will ask me, you know, are you sad that you're no longer auditioning or performing? Or do you feel like you failed or like, you didn't make it and I'm like, Are you kidding? My whole life is a stage all I do is create skits and I couldn't perform I'm like, That's what I mean that did not leave me I've just figured out a way to to use those skills to my greatest strength, right, which is honestly to serve people and it was to serve people in this way is that I kind of I shared in the greenroom before we hit record is that I used to live in this in this belief or this feeling of like never being enough and feeling like I need to just be that if I'm the smartest person in the room then I'll be able to stand out then I'll be able to rise to the above like I'll be the fastest trainer and I'll get all the certifications and I'll I will become a biomechanics master in one year instead of four years, right? Like I that's just I was always looking for that. Speed and trying to train to get there. And so along that journey, I realized, and in working with hundreds of trainers, I realized that the ones that tend to struggle the most tend to be the ones that are the smartest. And it's because they live from this place of the coach's curse, which is that knowing that there's always more to learn, it's the best gift no one, the people that are the high achievers know that there's always more to learn, but sometimes it's at the expense of recognizing and knowing that there are enough now, and that they can help someone now, in fact, they're probably more qualified to help people than the ones that just don't know any better. Right. And that's not to say that those people are bad or wrong, or any of that, none of that, right. It's just, it's just to share an offer and to say that there's an opportunity for people to get better, and to also value the value that they bring to the market space. Right? Yeah, and many people do not realize that many high achievers, I think, don't know this. Or they say they know it, but they don't live by it, there's a difference between understanding it and having a knowing. Right. So for me, my process is that I just have a very, and this comes from experience. I mean, I've been, I've been working in sales since I mean, I was born every year selling something all the time, whether it's your perspective, or, or it's foreign, some type of energy, exchange time, email, money, whatever that is, right. So the way that I operate is that I just know the customer journey from someone never hearing about you before, to then becoming a customer. And I think that, for me, I'm always looking at what my coaches are dealing with and who it is that they're serving and what the problem is they're solving, which most people miss this, by the way, know what problem you solve, yeah. Okay, and how you solve it, right? And then we carry people through, and then you can master the art and science of selling without selling through your content. And so the way that you do that, and this is literally my process, this is nine know this, and I know that okay, a customer becomes a customer, not when they know like and trust you enough, they become a customer when they customer when they believe in you. So that believability can be borrowed, meaning you could have borrowed authority, someone just buys in, someone says, Hey, makes a recommendation, or your insurance company goes, Oh, this person's covered. That's broad authority. So there's a belief in you, there's a belief in your offer, meaning that the value you're communicating is valuable to them, and they believe in it. But then there's also this component of belief in themselves, they have to believe that they themselves can do it, and that they need it now. And when you can do that and remove all of resistance, you can do that with your messaging with your content. And when you can do that, that is how you'll be able to turn someone who's never heard of you before into a customer, if you're right, or if you're not in business. And if that same content creation is going to be how you shift perspective. So someone buys into your whatever it is that you're you want them to buy into whether it's your opinion, your perspective, your you know, come to my brunch, whatever it is. And so because I know that that I just worked backwards in terms of the customer journey and for content creation. And I also think that there's a lot of unpacking in terms of, you know, people have to value what they bring to the market space. And we tend to not do that meaning we take for granted what it is that we do, because we think oh, it's just so easy. It's so easy for me to take one idea and turn it into 10 pieces of content, I could do it in a minute. It's easy for me to plan out 90 days of content in one hour and then have the template and then just on the side go and create it I can pull out my phone and be okay with exactly how I look at was whatever lighting and then then just broad and that comes easy and naturally to me. But I know that it doesn't for others. Yes. Yeah. And I think that we do we miss that.

Christine Li  34:34  
Yes, I think our listeners are getting why the sales and marketing and messaging are as complicated and maybe mysterious as they are too many, and how much of a grasp you have on the entire picture and what is necessary, including the self belief components that you've had to go through. for yourself in your life, I love how the whole picture comes together that your excellence is still here in the work that you do. The acting that you do on tick tock and the messaging and the heart that you put in think to your work I think is really apparent to me from this interview and also just from what I know of you. So thank you so much for sharing your mastery with us today. I really appreciate you being so open and sharing all the stories with us. You're welcome. Could you now tell us how our listeners can stay in touch with you and message you and work with you?

Beverly Simpson  35:37  
Sure. So the best place to find me is at B Simpson Fitness on Instagram on tick tock that's that's where I am right now I'm actually in the middle of doing an experiment where I'm so I'm creating a brand new Instagram from scratch zero people so you can find me there at Team view Simpson fitness, so I'm at both business and fitness and team basis.

Christine Li  36:00  
Okay, so be since it's like the letter B, right? You Simpson fitness. I will have it all in the show notes for our listeners. And thank you again for just bringing it today. I love it. Okay, everyone. We are going to wrap it up today. Remember to stay in touch with Beverly and me over on Instagram and or Tik Tok. And we'll see you next week. Take care. 

Thank you for listening to this episode of the Make Time for Success podcast. If you enjoyed what you've heard, you can subscribe to make sure you get notified of upcoming episodes. You can also visit our website maketimeforsuccesspodcast.com for past episodes, show notes and all the resources we mentioned on the show. Feel free to connect with me over on Instagram too. You can find me there under the name procrastination coach. Send me a DM and let me know what your thoughts are about the episodes you've been listening to. And let me know any topics that you might like me to talk about on the show. I'd love to hear all about how you're making time for success. We'll talk to you soon

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